[Malarion]

Ok, since I had the cheek to comment on some of the material on this forum, its only fair I have something up for those of you seeking revenge. It levels the playing field.

This is chapter 1 of my book (which shows no sign of ending at the moment, which is why it'll likely be a trilogy).
Nothing new here for anyone whos read it from the old forum, but Traveller requested it so I thought I'd humour him(since he gave me the chance to read his).

Enjoy (or don't).

[caladanbrood]

Don't think it's changed much since I last read it... can't wait to see this actually published:)

[Almar mae' Ka'zole]

Good stuff. Cant wait to see it in print!! cheers!!

[The Crazy Mob]

Malarion said:

Ok, since I had the cheek to comment on some of the material on this forum, its only fair I have something up for those of you seeking revenge. It levels the playing field.

Levels the playing field! I think we thank you That was excellent very polished I must say.
I do have one slight question though, who or what is Karsad it was mentioned at one stage but only once and I was just wondering since it seemed very out of place.

How long did you spend on it to get it that good actually?

[Malarion]

Thanks, people.

@Traveller.

Karsad is just what is left over from an earlier name change. It should read "Sarvad". Well spotted. Had to search for it myself and found another wee mistake while I was at it.

As to how much time I spent on it?
I originally wrote it in September 2000 (eek!) but have continuously tweeked it since then for a few years. I think its had five or six revisions, so it hasn't been easy. My first drafts usually are quite jerky to read and full of implossible things that take a while to iron out. Don't worry, the other 60-odd I've written aren't quite so polished.

[Monok]

Woo, more stuff from Mal! Even if it is the same stuff I've read before .
I know it's probably none of my business, but I personally prefered Maldo to Sarvad. Why did you change it?

[Malarion]

Hehe.

I prefer Maldo to Sarvad too. Sarvad's just his travelling name at the very beginning. Given that he was fleeing his past at this stage, he didn't want weighed down by his name and the reputation it carried.
He reveals his real name in chapter 3. I'm still deciding whether to keep it that way. Its possible I'll go back to Maldo from the beginning, or maybe keep him Sarvad for even longer. At the moment this way seems to fit best, but I'm terrible for changing my mind.

[Monok]

Ah, excellent idea. Kind of like Strider in LotR.

Hate to sound picky, but there are some parts in that chapter where you seem to use the same word a little too soon after the last time it appeared.

Other than that, sehr gut.

[Master Prudent]

Good, good, goood...

Nicely written and I love the way you're dribbling out Sarvad's back story. Like Monok I hate to sound picky (I am) but introducing every character with a descriptive paragraph feels routine after a little while. Also the world/story seems to be nothing out of the ordinary (though it's early days yet).

I think the sentence Monok is thinking of is "Now that the blood had stopped pounding he knew the reason of his momentary bloodlust."

[drinksinbars]

has this changed at all? it was quite a while ago i read through this the first time.

[Malarion]

Nope, its pretty much as it was.