Malazan Empire: Books You Might Like, Or Not... - Malazan Empire

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Books You Might Like, Or Not... Favorite long or complicated books.

#1 User is offline   carjug 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 01:10 AM

Youse Guys might like these here books. They are all long or complicated, or have big-ass words from dictionaries.
1) Joe Abercrombie. : He has two series out. Read them both, and it is like a half dose of Erikson.
2) Tanith Lee . Flat Earth and Paradys. She is hot & cold, but when she is on fire she has no equal. Don't read her if you are stupid, she uses big words and doesn't suffer fools.
3) Bone by Jeff Smith. It is a children's comic, and is best compared to LOTR with Bugs Bunny slapping Gandalph silly.
4) David Mitchell. Cloud Atlas. On tape if you can find it.
5)Connie Willis, Blackout. Not Fantasy, Historical Fiction, but it is stinkin' long, and out as a recorded book. World War II from the points of view of people in the Nazi bomber sights. London Town.
6Catherynne Valente. Orphan's Tales. Better than her best selling "Girl Who" children's stories, because the gloves are out and the knives are out.
7Susanna Clarke. Norris and Strange.
8) Gaiman , Sandman Comics.
9) Zelazny Amber.
As usual . keep your eyes out for books on tape. These suckers are long.
There, I've done my penance. Youse guys are now at liberty to look fer these. I just finished the last quarter-inch of Crippled God tonight, now it is time to finish the Kelly Link book I started so many months and years ago. I may just take up fishing. As a hobby, that's all.
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#2 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 04:12 AM

Bone is so not a children’s comic. Readable by not too young children, sure, but not a children’s story.
CHASE: Paw Patrol is ready for action Mr Pust sir!
PUST: *pauses ranting* What does that mean?
ZUMA: It means let's dive in, dude!
PUST: What? What is a dude? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?????
-The Malazan Book of the Paw Patrol
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#3 User is offline   polishgenius 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 05:58 AM

I appreciate the effort, but I'm a bit confused by the implication that these are rare or people on this forum might not have heard of them before?
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down from the door where it began,
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#4 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 06:08 AM

I've been described as "norris and strange" on occasion, and let me tell you, it stings.
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#5 User is online   Briar King 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 06:16 AM

O’Doyle rules
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#6 User is offline   carjug 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 03:55 PM

[One more Suggestion for you ungrateful wretches, Magician King by Lev Grossman (sp). If you ever wanted to give old Aslan a case of Mane fleas, push that Rat off the Dawn Treader, and get frisky with the White Witch, then you will love this Amti-Narnia series.
So There, you bunch of high bred lords and ladies, see if you have me to kick about anymore. Hood take the lot of you, I'm getting double -drunk.


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#7 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 04:13 PM

View Postcarjug, on 12 February 2018 - 01:10 AM, said:

3) Bone by Jeff Smith. It is a children's comic, and is best compared to LOTR with Bugs Bunny slapping Gandalph silly.
[/size]



^^This may be the most inaccurate description of BONE I've ever read. Every word in fact. I'm a little humbled by the level of inaccuracy to be honest.

Also, do books on tape still exist? I mean, I think they went to CD's in the 90's, and to digital sometime in the early 2000's...I don't even know that you could find a book on tape at a library....let alone a device to play it on.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 12 February 2018 - 04:15 PM

“Judge them for what they wished to be,” he begged the Father of Gods, “not what the world made of them.”
― Nicholas Eames, Kings of the Wyld
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#8 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 04:16 PM

View Postworry, on 12 February 2018 - 06:08 AM, said:

I've been described as "norris and strange" on occasion, and let me tell you, it stings.


Man, I KNEW you were a busybody in a Manchester community.

Attached File  norris.jpg (76.96K)
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This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 12 February 2018 - 04:17 PM

“Judge them for what they wished to be,” he begged the Father of Gods, “not what the world made of them.”
― Nicholas Eames, Kings of the Wyld
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#9 User is offline   carjug 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 04:34 PM

I just did what would have been polite in the first place, and read a lot of old postings about what you other Wretches read. I want to add something, take your Wretched selves to your local public libraries and check out the Books on Tape / CD ? RecordedBooks, whatever. Check out at least Three. Take them home, stick them into gadgets, and see what works. Dredsem / Jim Butcher is a good example, in print he is repetitive and immature, but on tape, he is repetitive, immature, and a TON OF FUN. Norris and strange by Clarke is the reverse, on paper it invites Burns own Sleep, but on tape it comes to life, and you can knock out a dirty sink while the Wizards are Dueling.
Don't believe me, find Night Circus by Wassername? and listen to it. It doesn't get no better!
I am a book-snob, I am a book-snob!
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#10 User is online   Alternative Goose 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 04:49 PM

Reading Carjug's posts makes me wonder if spam bots have passed the singularity and nobody noticed.
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#11 User is offline   Gorefest 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 05:00 PM

What ever makes you think that, human?
She went and she left me like litter. She took all future summers with her. I lost all my money cuz I tried to bribe her. Now I can only afford an amateur sniper.
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#12 User is offline   Mentalist 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 05:16 PM

Audiobooks' quality depends on narrator.

Also, I do not really comprehend Audiobooks. I can't pay attention to Audiobooks, I'm too much of a visual learner.

Being long isn't necessarily indication of quality. And if you find reading a "chore" or "penance" then you are doing it wrong.
The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard
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View PostJump Around, on 23 October 2011 - 11:04 AM, said:

And I want to state that Ment has out-weaseled me by far in this game.
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#13 User is offline   Salt-Man Z 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 05:18 PM

View PostMentalist, on 12 February 2018 - 05:16 PM, said:

Also, I do not really comprehend Audiobooks. I can't pay attention to Audiobooks, I'm too much of a visual learner.

I fall asleep listening to audiobooks. I've fallen asleep with physical/e-books too, but when that happens at least I know where I stopped.
"Here is light. You will say that it is not a living entity, but you miss the point that it is more, not less. Without occupying space, it fills the universe. It nourishes everything, yet itself feeds upon destruction. We claim to control it, but does it not perhaps cultivate us as a source of food? May it not be that all wood grows so that it can be set ablaze, and that men and women are born to kindle fires?"
―Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch
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#14 User is offline   Gabriele 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 05:29 PM

View PostAlternative Goose, on 12 February 2018 - 04:49 PM, said:

Reading Carjug's posts makes me wonder if spam bots have passed the singularity and nobody noticed.


I wonder what he smoked and where you can get it.
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#15 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 05:29 PM

Has to be a regular trolling
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#16 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 05:34 PM

View PostMacros, on 12 February 2018 - 05:29 PM, said:

Has to be a regular trolling


This was my assumption as well.
“Judge them for what they wished to be,” he begged the Father of Gods, “not what the world made of them.”
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#17 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 07:00 PM

Nah. Just new here. Give him time.


I listen to a metric shitonne of earbooks, but i can't sit around doing so. It's what i do when driving, commuting, walking somewhere routine, or doing routine stuff (laundry, trash, recycling, changing oil, dishes, wall repair, nanite harvesting, death ray maintenance, etc.) around the house because the staff were insolent and i had them fed to the otyugh in the compost heap, occasionally at the gym if its something particularly good. I fall asleep in seconds if i try to listen in bed or even sitting down.
CHASE: Paw Patrol is ready for action Mr Pust sir!
PUST: *pauses ranting* What does that mean?
ZUMA: It means let's dive in, dude!
PUST: What? What is a dude? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?????
-The Malazan Book of the Paw Patrol
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#18 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 07:06 PM

I am going to start using the phrase "the gloves are out".
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#19 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 07:08 PM

View PostAbyss, on 12 February 2018 - 07:00 PM, said:

Nah. Just new here. Give him time.


I listen to a metric shitonne of earbooks, but i can't sit around doing so. It's what i do when driving, commuting, walking somewhere routine, or doing routine stuff (laundry, trash, recycling, changing oil, dishes, wall repair, nanite harvesting, death ray maintenance, etc.) around the house because the staff were insolent and i had them fed to the otyugh in the compost heap, occasionally at the gym if its something particularly good. I fall asleep in seconds if i try to listen in bed or even sitting down.


This is me with podcasts. If I even THINK about laying down...it's nap time. LOL. As long as I'm doing something and up and about when I listen, it's fine....I assume the same would be true of audiobooks.
“Judge them for what they wished to be,” he begged the Father of Gods, “not what the world made of them.”
― Nicholas Eames, Kings of the Wyld
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#20 User is offline   Mentalist 

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 07:30 PM

Yeah, since my prime earbook would be bus/subway during commute, that'd be instant sleep time.

I manage to sometimes zone out with dead tree/ebooks as well (depends on how tired I am), but with an audiobook it'd be instant and guaranteed lights out.
The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard
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View PostJump Around, on 23 October 2011 - 11:04 AM, said:

And I want to state that Ment has out-weaseled me by far in this game.
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