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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#1401 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 17 April 2021 - 04:13 AM

Boebert's entire personality is "hurr Durr I like guns"

That's it. That's her whole existence.
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#1402 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 17 April 2021 - 06:04 AM

You've gotta admit that silenced P90 she's rocking looks bitching.
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#1403 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 17 April 2021 - 04:38 PM

'Donald Trump's Presidency Is Over. MAGA Rap Is Keeping His Legacy Alive.

Songs like "Gun Totin' Patriot" and "We Outside" [are] ridiculous, Trump-worshiping schlock

[...] There are the big SUVs, even bigger guns, a healthy contingent of video hoes, a red "Make America Great Again" bucket hat on top of Gray's head, a lifelike mannequin of former President Donald Trump in military fatigues… [...]
[...] a collection of Trump-worshiping artists who've come to life in YouTube videos and hours-long Spotify playlists. They're only gaining steam in the aftermath of Trump's failed reelection bid.

Musically, there's not much to distinguish these MAGA rappers. The beats are all pretty generic. The use of autotune is generous. Instead, it's the lyrics that really elevate the listening experience.

[...] It's a ridiculous spectacle made no more serious by Blow's bright red Skittles-branded jacket. There's still something seriously menacing and rebellious about the song when one considers the context and intended target of lyrics like we outside, whole gang outside.'





This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 17 April 2021 - 04:38 PM

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#1404 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 17 April 2021 - 10:54 PM

So why does the first guy - who shows up in the second looking like an even bigger loser in blue cams - look like a member of ISIS?

I especially like the (ab)use of children in the first video, that's a classy touch.

Attached File(s)


This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 17 April 2021 - 10:58 PM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#1405 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 18 April 2021 - 08:50 AM

People putting their kids in there should be contacted by child services
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#1406 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 18 April 2021 - 05:44 PM

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#1407 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 19 April 2021 - 02:12 AM

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This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 19 April 2021 - 02:13 AM

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#1408 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 19 April 2021 - 03:58 PM

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https://en.wikipedia...i/Ted_Kaczynski
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#1409 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 19 April 2021 - 08:33 PM

'The launch of pro-Trump pillow magnate Mike Lindell's much-ballyhooed "free speech" social media site is not going as planned[...] during his Monday livestream kickoff for Frank Speech [...]





The Trump-boosting pillow salesman had to change the original name of it after receiving a legal threat. And while the site is supposed to be about "free speech," users cannot use profanity or God's name in vain. And despite the site essentially being founded on the ability to freely lie about the election or other hot-button issues, Lindell has declared that "out-and-out" lies are forbidden.


[...]


[...] During a livestream promoting [the] site that also featured former Trump officials Michael Flynn and Steve Bannon—both purveyors of the "Big Lie" that the 2020 election was "rigged"—Lindell said that registration for "Frank" was put on pause because they "were under the biggest attack in history for a website."'


https://www.thedaily...caller?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 19 April 2021 - 08:33 PM

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#1410 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 20 April 2021 - 09:40 PM

One can confidently predict the phrase "back the blue" will take on a whole new meaning in the prison showers. Bacon is on the menu, methinks.

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#1411 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 20 April 2021 - 10:18 PM

Trump was back on Fox News:

'Trump Complains Being President Was "Very Traumatic" for Him, but He Misses "Helping People"

[...] asked by Sean Hannity what he misses about being in power, Trump said: “I miss the most, helping people... That’s why I did it. Look, this has been very traumatic. I had a great life, great company, great business, no problems and now all I do is, people go after you. It’s vicious, it’s horrible, but you know what? I loved doing it, because I helped people. And I’ve helped them more than any president.” Trump went on to warn that he’s taking the prospect of standing again in 2024 “very seriously, beyond seriously.”'

https://www.thedaily...people?ref=home


'Ted Nugent—the right-wing singer who’s spent the past year boring on about his ridiculous coronavirus and anti-vaccine conspiracy theories—has announced that he’s fallen badly sick with COVID-19. Since the pandemic began last year, Nugent has described it as a “scam,” ridiculed mask-wearers as “sheep,” and proudly announced that he would never take a coronavirus vaccine. But he changed his tune [...] “I have had flu symptoms for the last 10 days. I thought I was dying. Just a clusterfuck. I was tested positive today. I got the Chinese shit. I’ve got a stuffed up head, body aches. My God, what a pain in the ass. I literally could hardly crawl out of bed the last few days”'

https://www.thedaily...mic-is-all-fake



'It struts toward a nurse, who falls to her knees, possibly so she can get a better look at what’s keeping those clogs attached. It cackles madly as it walks past a man wearing what looks like traditional Saudi attire, a cop in a bulletproof vest, a construction worker holding a hammer, a businessman, and... [...] possibly a Hot Topic sales associate—it’s not really clear—and all of them drop to one knee to let it pass. It ambles past a pair of orange road cones, which someone clearly put out to warn people that there’s a GIANT VIRUS ON THE SIDEWALK, but nobody seems to notice.

Then shit really gets weird, because Batman, the Hulk, Superman, and Super Saiyan Blue Goku are all hanging out in somebody’s yard[...] They also let the virus pass them, so it can approach some absolute cabbage of a child, who’s just stood there for two minutes letting this horrible footless infection drift his way.


How Jesus lands on the sidewalk isn’t clear, but he quickly raises his right arm—which has two elbows, because this Jesus is part arthropod[...] Meanwhile, Goku and Superman are still on their knees[...]

The Portuguese-language account posted its bonkers coronavirus-related animation[...] almost immediately reposted[...] by Relevante News, a self-described Brazilian “independent news portal.” (The ‘News’ part might be slightly subjective: two of the stories currently on its homepage are headlined “10 Frauds that Occurred in the U.S. [Presidential] Election” and “Wouldn't Lockdown Be a Strategy to Lead us to Socialism?”)

[...]


The video ends with the text of 2 Chronicles 7:14 typed on the screen. (“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”)

As far as ways of handling the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, that’s certainly...one of them. It’s also in line with what the country’s president, Jair Bolsonaro, previously recommended. Last April, called for a national day of prayer and fasting to “free Brazil from this evil.”

That didn’t seem to take. [...] Brazil’s 373,442 deaths are second only to the United States[...]

Maybe give the nurse a shot at dealing with all this next time?'

https://www.vice.com...video-came-from
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#1412 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 20 April 2021 - 11:08 PM

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'Nancy Pelosi Thanks George Floyd for Getting Murdered

[...] "Thank you George Floyd for sacrificing your life for justice," Pelosi said. "For being there to call out to your mom—how heartbreaking was that?— call out to your mom, 'I can't breathe.'"

https://www.thedaily...erdict?ref=home
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#1413 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 21 April 2021 - 01:27 AM


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#1414 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 21 April 2021 - 02:23 AM

'Lawyer Alan Dershowitz said Representative Maxine Waters used Ku Klux Klan tactics to "intimidate the jury" [...]

"It's borrowed precisely from the Ku Klux Klan of the 1930s and 1920s when the Klan would march outside of courthouses and threatened all kinds of reprisals"'

https://www.newsweek...n-trial-1585111

'a meme spread across pandemic denialist Telegram channels, featuring a large image of two sheep fucking, and a block of text that reads: "DO NOT BREED WITH SHEEP."

"People who are vaccinated will have modified DNA," it continues. "No one discusses that DNA is passed onto the next generation. The risk that your children will marry into other cultures is possibly now shadowed by the fact that your children may marry into a COVID vaxed gene group potentially shortening their lives and that of others."

[...] yet another Redditor suggested that soon enough "only vaccinated people will marry each other while non vaccinated will also get married," and that this "will split the human race into a fake race. The Vaccinated Race."

[...] the powers that be want to turn us into genetically modified humans so that we are technically no longer actual humans, and are thus not entitled to our supposedly God-given human rights, enabling our wanton enslavement and exploitation. [...]

[...] "I would be terrified to let some vaccinated guy blow his genetically modified load inside of me. I'm scared to even exchange saliva with these people. There's no telling what the hell they've been shot up with."

[...] "They are now genetically modified humans," the admin of a major pandemic misinformation Telegram channel that spread the do not sleep with sheep meme wrote about vaccinated individuals in a community chat last month. "They are not even technically human anymore."

"Vaccinated people are honestly a threat to humanity as a whole."'

https://news.yahoo.c...-074857791.html

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 21 April 2021 - 02:23 AM

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#1415 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 25 April 2021 - 07:20 PM

'Befuddled Larry Kudlow Rails That Biden Will Force Americans To Guzzle "Plant-Based Beer"

Now that [...] Trump's former economic adviser Larry Kudlow has taken his words of wisdom from the White House to Fox News, he wants the nation to know that [...] Biden is plotting to force Americans to drink "plant-based beer."

[...] Apparently the man who declared COVID-19 "contained close to airtight" before more than 570,000 Americans died is not talking about the beer everyone drinks now. That's typically made from grains, hops and yeast — and not an ounce of steak. (Additives may include animal products, like gelatin, but beer is definitely plant based.)

The bonkers brewhaha was part of Kudlow's raging criticism on Fox Business Friday against the proposed Green New Deal, which he claimed would end the country's consumption of meat, eggs, cheese and dairy. None of that's true[...]

"Speaking of stupid," he began. "America has to, get this, America has to stop eating meat, stop eating poultry and fish, seafood, eggs, dairy and animal-based fats. OK, got that? No burgers on July Fourth. No steaks on the barbecue. ... So get ready. You can throw back a plant-based beer with your grilled Brussels sprouts and wave your American flag."
https://www.yahoo.co...-022059727.html


'Right-Wing Trend of Not Buying Things to Own the Libs Reaches Nadir With Accidental Boycott of Semen

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[...]

The first image is Conservative Political Action Conference director Matt Schlapp (apparently) failing to notice that autocorrect has changed his claim to have stopped drinking Coke (which would have been at least the sixth time he's made that claim on Twitter) to a claim to have stopped drinking "come." The second image is a screenshot of an Instagram story in which mega-pundit Ben Shapiro proudly shows off the small piece of lumber he bought in order to support Home Depot.'

https://slate.com/ne...ce-of-wood.html

'Tucker Carlson Laughs Maniacally And Abruptly Ends Interview After Guest Criticizes Chauvin After Verdict


[...]


Carlson was discussing the guilty verdict with former New York corrections officer Ed Gavin.

When Gavin suggested police should do research and refrain from using excessive force, Carlson responded with a sudden, unhinged laugh.
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[...]

"Tucker Carlson had a complete meltdown tonight" [...]


"That maniacal laugh is the sound of white nationalism in its death throes. Every night Tucker Carlson stokes the burning embers of white supremacy to keep that fire alive. It's getting more and more difficult as fewer people buy into his false narratives. That sound, though...."


[...]


"Tucker Carlson 100% practices his new deranged laugh in the mirror before each night's show and chances are good that he does it in white grease paint and with a red lipstick smile."'

https://www.comicsan...2652675971.html
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#1416 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 26 April 2021 - 03:05 PM

'No, Biden Isn't Coming for Your Burgers

Conservative politicians and media have been inflamed over President Joe Biden's plan to drastically curb American meat consumption. There's just one little problem: It doesn't exist.

The root of the rumor: a story in the British tabloid the Daily Mail. Noting that Biden wants to slash greenhouse gas emissions, the Mail added that "while Biden hasn't released details on what life could look like for Americans, experts and recent studies have laid out what would need to change by 2030 to reach the goal." The paper then pointed to a random University of Michigan study (released in January 2020), saying that cutting beef consumption by 90 percent while halving other animal product consumption could cut diet-related greenhouse gas emissions in half.

[...] But the headline was a bit more misleading: "How Biden's climate plan could limit you to eat just one burger a MONTH." And that was enough to launch a twisted game of Republican telephone.

While Kudlow didn't directly attribute the food restrictions to Biden policy, Fox Business implied as much, headlining a story about his comments, "Kudlow: Biden's Green New Deal means no meat for the 4th of July, have grilled Brussels sprouts instead," and adding as a subhead, "Kudlow says Biden's climate plan comes from 'ideological zealots' who don't care about America."

[...]

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[...]

"Joe Biden's climate plan includes cutting 90% of red meat from our diets by 2030. They want to limit us to about four pounds a year," tweeted Rep. Lauren Boebert (R–Colo).

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R–Ga.) called Biden the Hamburglar, tweeting a photo of him eating burgers under the caption, "No burgers for thee, but just for me."

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[Then she retweeted this:
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https://twitter.com/mtgreenee

]


Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, Donald Trump Jr., and other prominent Republicans also shared this fake news.'

https://reason.com/2...r-your-burgers/

'Marjorie Taylor Greene Flag of United States Retweeted
Catturd ™
@catturd2

4h
Good morning to everyone except the Communist Democrat Party.

Marjorie Taylor Greene Flag of United States
@mtgreenee
20h

Blue Anon is far more dangerous than Qanon.

A very real, powerful, and dangerous threat to our free Republic.



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Marjorie Taylor Greene Flag of United States
@mtgreenee
·
Apr 23
.
@AOC
is nothing but a climate conspiracy theorists spreading fear that we will all be in peril if we don't heed her demands.

Democrats are on the verge of destroying America's economy, future, and enslaving us to China with the Green New Deal.

Cont'd...

[...]


The deranged Democrats are obsessed with using these conspiracy theories to pass radical changes to the US.


Marjorie Taylor Greene Flag of United States
@mtgreenee
·
Apr 22
When will LeBron James apologize for using slave labor in Communist China?


Marjorie Taylor Greene Flag of United States
@mtgreenee
·
Apr 22
Here's a fact about "Earth Day" ...

The co-founder, Ira Einhorn, killed and composted his girlfriend inside of a trunk in 1977.'

https://twitter.com/mtgreenee

Hm, that last one's actually true:

'When Philadelphia police questioned Einhorn about her mysterious disappearance several weeks later, he claimed that she had gone out to the neighborhood co-op to buy some tofu and sprouts and never returned.

It wasn't until 18 months later that investigators searched Einhorn's apartment after one of his neighbors complained that a reddish-brown, foul-smelling liquid was leaking from the ceiling directly below Einhorn's bedroom closet. Inside the closet, police found Maddux's beaten and partially mummified body stuffed into a trunk that had also been packed with Styrofoam, air fresheners and newspapers.

After his arrest, Einhorn jumped bail and spent decades evading authorities by hiding out in Ireland, Sweden, the United Kingdom and France. After 23 years, he was finally extradited to the United States from France and put on trial. Taking the stand in his own defense, Einhorn claimed that his ex-girlfriend had been killed by CIA agents who framed him for the crime because he knew too much about the agency's paranormal military research. He was convicted of murdering Maddux and is currently serving a life sentence.

Although Einhorn was only the master of ceremonies at the first Earth Day event, he maintains that Earth Day was his idea and that he's responsible for launching it. Understandably, Earth Day's organizers have distanced themselves from his name'

https://www.nbcnews....id/wbna42711922

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 26 April 2021 - 03:28 PM

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#1417 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 26 April 2021 - 11:19 PM




'Rioter Who Posed in Pelosi’s Office Argues for Release: I Called Her a "Biatch," Not "Bitch"

The self-described white nationalist who stormed Sen. Nancy Pelosi’s (D-CA) office during the Capitol riot has a new argument for why he shouldn’t be jailed pending trial: He isn’t a threat because he only called the House speaker “a biatch.”

[...] The motion claims that while prosecutors insist the note read “Hey Nancy Bigo was here bitch,” the 60-year-old Arkansas man actually wrote “biatd.”'

https://www.thedaily...iatch-not-bitch


'Newsmax Host Dragged For Claiming Biden Wants To Eliminate All Carbon Dioxide From The Earth

[...]

Mistakenly believing John Kerry suggested the President wanted to remove carbon dioxide from the air in general, Bachman asked, with a straight face, [...]

"If we take all the carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere, what're the trees gonna turn into oxygen?"'

https://www.comicsan...2652774997.html
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#1418 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 27 April 2021 - 06:04 AM

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#1419 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 27 April 2021 - 06:43 AM

That's a strangely appealing advert. Or maybe I just haven't gone drinking in a year.
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#1420 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 28 April 2021 - 05:47 PM

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