Malazan Empire: Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots - Malazan Empire

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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#1021 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 11 October 2020 - 12:04 AM

View PostTsundoku, on 09 October 2020 - 11:05 AM, said:

Ivanka is on her knees but she's facing in the wrong direction. :p

Kushner and the Turtle are at least close to the end they spend most of their time tonguing.

Gun-toting (yet Pro-life, how does that work?), bible-thumping, evangelical Republican "Christians": Oh wow, that's a great work of art!

Every other Christian on Earth: What. The. Actual. Fuck?

Heck, shouldn't that even piss off Muslims, what with JC apparently being #2 in the prophet hierarchy?

Agree with Simmo - who did that and to what purpose?
If the purpose was satire, it may have the opposite effect.
If it was praise, then ... ????? :ermm:
It's like Schrodinger's Trump.

EDIT:

https://www.lulu.com...uct-6jjn68.html

Still no wiser. Artist is "Piggy Banksy" which seems to be some sort of collective artsy-fartsy project.

https://www.research...ful_Co-Creation

https://medium.com/@...al-8de55612b56d


Hmm, Ron Silliman captioned it as 'the latest Banksy' but it's not clear whether they're connected.

This is almost certainly the source painting:

Posted Image


https://commons.wiki...ob_Jordaens.JPG

'Trump Wanted to Don Superman Shirt to Leave Hospital

[...] he was considering wearing a Superman T-shirt underneath his customary white button-down and red tie during his first public appearance, The New York Times reports. He would, he said, fake a frail walk at first, then open the shirt to reveal the iconic "S" insignia to demonstrate he was strong and free of the coronavirus. The White House has dodged questions for nearly a week now of when Trump last tested negative for the virus.'

https://www.thedaily...-covid-free-nyt

(Wouldn't 'SS' be more appropriate?....)

'Taliban Endorses Trump Re-Election Campaign, Hopes for Total US Troop Withdrawal from Afghanistan'

https://www.newsweek...anistan-1538083

'Polls show that the bottom has dropped out of his support among seniors, so Trump stood on the South Lawn and spoke into a camera. "To my favorite people in the world, the seniors," he intoned. "I'm a senior. I know you don't know that. Nobody knows that. Maybe you don't have to tell them. But I'm a senior."'

"I'm back because I'm a perfect physical specimen and I'm extremely young."

Young. Old. No stimulus. Huge stimulus. One thing about which the president remained certain was the urgent need for the Justice Department to jail his political opponents — including the Democratic nominee, former vice president Joe Biden, and former president Barack Obama.

Attorney General William P. Barr probably thought that by sacrificing his reputation to become a slavering toady, he would remain safely in Trump's good graces. Once again dialing in to Fox News, Trump turned on Barr, telling Sean Hannity — between pauses to cough and gag — that he has lost patience with the attorney general's niggling insistence on actual evidence before slapping cuffs on Biden and Obama. Trump also blasted over his Twitter feed a doctored photo of the late comedian Chris Farley in vein-popping character, screaming at Barr: "for the love of God ARREST SOMEBODY."'

https://www.washingt...ign=wp_opinions

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'As the president released a misleading and dangerous message to the public about his ability to vanquish the virus, which he said was more like a case of the common flu, his campaign also released an ad showing the president as a professional footballer vaulting over and then knocking to the ground a defensive player dressed as a Covid-19 molecule, and trotting to the end zone.'

https://www.ft.com/c...dd-0d8e6177089a




Youtube caption: 'The radical left wing NFL took down this @TeamTrump ad on twitter for copyright infringement. '

[Edit: 'Jared Smith

I have 3 poems in this latest wonderful issue of Chiron Review--and yes, that cover photo of the Review depicts who you think it is, and is by Banksy!'

They may have just confused 'Piggy Banksy' with 'Banksy' though.]

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 11 October 2020 - 12:15 AM

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#1022 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 13 October 2020 - 03:11 PM

Commented on ACB's voice in the politics discussion thread. I then considered if I was the only one who noticed, so I did a Twitter search. Mean girl twitter, high school cafeteria clique brutality didn't disappoint. Fuck twitter is terrible.

https://twitter.com/...src=typed_query

Posted ImagePosted Image
Barrett has the voice of a woman who has swallowed her own voice in deference to men her whole life.

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#1023 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 13 October 2020 - 10:28 PM

Posted Image

[satire]

https://www.thewrap....rett-pence-fly/
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#1024 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 14 October 2020 - 12:11 AM

'Trump backed a budding conspiracy theory on Tuesday that four Americans were killed in the 2012 Benghazi attack to cover up the blood-sacrifice of Navy SEALs and the "fact" that Osama Bin Laden is still alive, marking what is perhaps the president's strangest brush yet with far-right conspiracy theories.

Trump's promotion of the new Benghazi conspiracy theory, which is fast gaining traction on the far right, came in the form of a retweet of a QAnon believer pushing the claim. [...]

"Hiden Biden and Obama may have had Seal Team 6 killed! EXPLOSIVE: CIA Whistleblower Exposes Biden's Alleged Role with the Deaths of Seal Team- Claims to have Documented Proof. RETWEET!!!"

All those claims come from a falconer who says he uncovered secrets about Al-Qaeda, Iran, and U.S. intelligence in his work as a falconer for Middle Eastern power players.


[...] Parrot, the subject of a 2010 documentary about his falconry called Feathered Cocaine, has shot to new fame on the right after a video interview with him played over the weekend at the American Priority Conference, a pro-Trump event held at Trump's Miami resort.'
https://www.thedaily...theory?ref=home
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#1025 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 15 October 2020 - 06:22 AM

'Rudy Giuliani Posts Footage of Himself Mocking Asians to YouTube

[...] For several minutes on the extended YouTube version, the screen was black and silent. Then Spicer appeared briefly only to quickly sign out, leaving Giuliani at his desk speaking with individuals off-screen, apparently unaware the camera was still recording.

After a few moments of small talk with an assistant who appears to be Jayne Zirkle, an animated Giuliani started affecting a stereotypical Chinese accent while telling Zirkle that she's "going to be the most famous model in China."

"Ah, get me Jayne Zirkle," he said while using the accent.

After asking others in the room what they wanted for dinner, Giuliani continued to say Zirkle's name in the mocking accent. He then started pantomiming a bow while repeating her name, laughing as his team tried to steer him back to talking about the interview. [...]

This isn't the first time that the former New York mayor has had an embarrassing run-in with modern technology, resulting in Giuliani revealing more than he wanted. Late last year, the Trump attorney mistakenly butt-dialed an NBC reporter late at night.

When the reporter woke up, he discovered a three-minute-long voice message from Giuliani, featuring the ex-mayor discussing overseas dealings and his need for cash.'

https://www.thedaily...tube?ref=scroll



Clearly auditioning for Acting Attorney General....

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 15 October 2020 - 06:25 AM

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#1026 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 15 October 2020 - 08:58 PM



'GOP Senator Threw Amy Coney Barrett A Softball Question About The First Amendment—And She Totally Whiffed It

[...] Barrett blanked on the freedom to protest the government without consequences until Sasse reminded her.

"codykoluver
@krissolierious
amy coney barrett pretending to forget that the right [to] protest[...] is part of the first amendment and giggling while doing so is the main source of my high blood pressure for the past 24 hours"'
https://www.comicsan...86MA823wU7QYFBI

'Jair Bolsonaro's efforts to portray himself as an anti-corruption crusader have suffered another blow after police reportedly seized a wad of bank notes from between the clenched buttocks of one of his allies.

Chico Rodrigues, the Brazilian president's deputy leader in the senate, was reportedly caught with the concealed bundle on Wednesday during a police search of his home. The raid was part of an operation against the suspected misappropriation of public funds for fighting Covid-19.'

https://www.theguard...chico-rodrigues

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 15 October 2020 - 08:59 PM

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#1027 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 16 October 2020 - 12:27 AM

' Trump was personally warned by his own national security adviser last year that his personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, was being used to feed him disinformation from Russian intelligence operatives, but he just "shrugged his shoulders" [...]

"Do what you want to do, but your friend Rudy has been worked by Russian assets in Ukraine," [...] The idea, one official said, was to "protect the president from coming out and saying something stupid," as Trump was already embroiled in impeachment scandal. But the commander in chief dismissed the warning from National Security Adviser Robert O'Brien by saying, "That's Rudy"'

https://www.thedaily...s-wapo?ref=home

'Oh Good, Dianne Feinstein Ended the Barrett Hearings by Giving a Maskless Lindsey Graham a Hug'

https://slate.com/ne...tt-hearing.html

'The N.Y. Post Story Raises One Legitimate Question: Is Hunter Biden Hot?'

https://slate.com/hu...-biden-hot.html

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 16 October 2020 - 12:28 AM

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#1028 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 16 October 2020 - 08:03 PM

'"He didn't spend the whole time yelling, he didn't piss himself… so this was as best as we could have hoped for," said one Trump campaign adviser.'

https://www.thedaily...nes-crazy-uncle

'Trump Appears to Think Conservative Satirical Website Is Actual News

[...] He tweeted a made-up news article from the satirical website Babylon Bee that claimed Twitter shut down its entire social network Thursday to slow the spread of negative news about his opponent Joe Biden. "Wow, this has never been done in history," the president tweeted. "This includes his really bad interview last night. Why is Twitter doing this."'

https://www.thedaily...twitter-is-real

Seems less like satire than what he does on a regular basis....

'Distancing from Trump: Maryland GOP governor casts write-in vote for Ronald Reagan'

https://www.rawstory...-ronald-reagan/

'"Guthrie: Back to the debate, because the debate commission's rules, it was the honor system, would be that you would come with a negative test. You say you don't know if you got a test on the day of the debate?

Trump: I had no problem. Again, the doctors do it. I don't ask them. I test all the time.

Guthrie: Did you take a test, though, on the day of the debate?

Trump: If you ask the doctors, they'll give you a perfect answer. They take a test, I leave, I go about my business.

Guthrie: Did you take a test on the day of the debate, I guess, is the bottom line.

Trump: I probably did. I took a test before, the day before. I was in great shape for the debate. It was only after the debate, like a period of time after the debate, that I said, that's interesting, and they took a test, and it tested positive.

Guthrie: Just to button it up, do you take a test every single day?

Trump: No. But I take a lot of tests.

Guthrie: And you don't know if you took a test the day of the debate?

Trump: Possibly I did, possibly I didn't.

[...] Trump: I know nothing about QAnon.

Guthrie: I just told you.

Trump: Well, you told me, but what you tell me doesn't necessarily make it fact. I hate to say that. I know nothing about it. I do know they are very much against pedophilia. They fight it very hard. But I know nothing about it.

Guthrie: They believe it is a satanic cult run by the deep state.

Trump: I'll tell you what I do know about. I know about antifa and I know about the radical left and how violent and vicious they are, and I know how they are burning down cities run by Democrats, not run by Republicans.

Guthrie: Republican Sen. Ben Sasse said, "QAnon is nuts, and real leaders call conspiracy theories conspiracy theories."

Trump: He may be right.

Guthrie: Why not just say it's crazy and not true?

Trump: I just don't know about QAnon.

Guthrie: You do know.

Trump: I don't know. I don't know. No, I don't know. … Let me just tell you what I do hear about it is they are very strongly against pedophilia, and I agree with that, I do agree with that.

Guthrie: OK, but there's not a satanic pedophile cult being run by—

Trump: I have no idea. I know nothing about that.

Guthrie: You don't know that? OK.

Trump: No, I don't know that. And neither do you know that.

Guthrie: OK, just this week you retweeted—

Trump: Why aren't you asking me about antifa? Why aren't you asking me about the radical left? Why aren't you asking Joe Biden questions about—why doesn't he condemn antifa? Why does he say it doesn't exist?

Guthrie: Because you're here before me.

Trump: So cute. [the interviewer is female]

[...] Guthrie: Just this week you retweeted to your 87 million followers a conspiracy theory that Joe Biden orchestrated to have SEAL Team 6 killed to cover up the fake death of bin Laden. Now, why would you send a lie like that to your followers?

Trump: That was a retweet. That was an opinion of somebody. And that was a retweet. I'll put it out there.

Guthrie: I don't get that. You're the president. You're not someone's crazy uncle who can retweet whatever.

Trump: No, no, that was a retweet, I do a lot of retweets. And frankly, because the media is so fake and so corrupt, if I didn't have social media—I don't call it Twitter, I call it social media—I wouldn't be able to get the word out. And the word—

Guthrie: The word is false."

Trump took questions from voters[...] Among other topics, the president said that he did not know whether any of the hundreds of millions of dollars he owes is to foreign entities, and that he has a plan to replace Obamacare, which he does not.'

https://slate.com/ne...l-grilling.html

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 16 October 2020 - 08:05 PM

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#1029 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 18 October 2020 - 05:05 PM


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#1030 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 19 October 2020 - 09:08 PM

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#1031 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 20 October 2020 - 11:28 PM

A doff of the cap and a chef's kiss to you fine sir (whoever you are) in charge of the program guide updates for this cable service. Well played fine sir... well played.

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#1032 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 21 October 2020 - 07:32 PM

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#1033 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 23 October 2020 - 04:35 AM


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#1034 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 24 October 2020 - 01:42 AM

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'Pennsylvania Billboard Claims Joe Biden Has Dementia, Spells It Wildly Wrong'

https://www.newsweek...s-wrong-1540957

'Mitch McConnell has been trying to walk with his right hand in his pocket this week when photographers are around. But even a politician as deliberate as Mitch McConnell can't help but allow the ol' digits to breathe every now and then. [...]

McConnell's press secretary has not responded to two requests for comment about whether the longtime Republican leader has suffered any health issue. But Politico congressional reporter John Bresnahan, who specializes in haranguing old senators about their mortality, asked McConnell on Thursday what's going on. [...]

Bresnahan: Everyone's been asking about your hands. Is there something going on?

McConnell: I've been worried about your health, Bres. How are you feeling?

Bresnahan: I'm feeling OK.

McConnell: Good for you.

Bresnahan: But I'm serious, is there anything going on we should know about?

McConnell: Of course not.

McConnell later reiterated to CNN's Ted Barrett that he has "no concerns," but wouldn't answer when asked whether he's being treated by a doctor.

[...] In the absence of a statement about what's going on from either McConnell, who's up for reelection on Nov. 3, or his press office, the void has been filled with speculation. Perhaps he had a fall and, as an older person, bruises easily. Blood thinners could accentuate that. He's down a couple of horcruxes.'

https://slate.com/ne...ised-hands.html

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 24 October 2020 - 01:44 AM

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#1035 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 24 October 2020 - 06:03 PM

'poll workers in Bolivar County, Miss., were getting hungry. Someone ran out for sardines and crackers. The officials noshed and counted votes until the “violent laxative” that had been added to the Republicans’ sardines started to take effect. Then they ran for the outhouses while the remaining Democrats counted a suspiciously large majority.

As a historian of American democracy, I used to collect anecdotes like this from the mid-to-late 1800s.

[...] crooked politicians often chuckled about their cunning. “Instead of wrath” at stolen elections, the humorist James Russell Lowell complained upon returning from abroad, “I found banter.” When the journalist Lincoln Steffens mentioned a St. Louis trick to a party boss in Philadelphia, the two began excitedly talking shop, “as one artist to another.”'

Stealing elections often started with the U.S. Postal Service — central to this election as well. In a nation that was over 80 percent rural, post offices were a choke point for political news. But they were run by deeply partisan postmasters, appointed by the very congressmen they’d help elect, and they frequently “lost” the opposition’s newspapers or correspondences. And because parties privately printed their own ballots in those days, post offices and newspaper publishers could buy up all the paper in town, making it difficult for rivals to get enough tickets.

[...] Unlike today, there actually was widespread fraud in casting ballots, what Rudyard Kipling called the uniquely American “art of buying up votes retail.” A glass of lager, $5 or a pork chop sandwich might win over a decisive minority, up to 10 percent in some states.'

https://www.nytimes....-elections.html
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#1036 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 24 October 2020 - 08:41 PM

'People Can't Believe This RNC Tweet About Donald Trump's Priorities Isn't A Parody

GOP
@GOP

Pres. Trump is fighting for YOU! Here are some of his priorities for a 2nd term:

*Establish Permanent Manned Presence on The Moon
*Send the 1st Manned Mission to Mars
*Build World's Greatest Infrastructure System
*Establish National High-Speed Wireless Internet Network'

No COVID-19 on the moon... well, yet.

And he probably wants to plant another US flag Trump Tower on Mars....

https://www.huffpost...glfVhDTGjbk9F9U

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 24 October 2020 - 08:42 PM

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#1037 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 25 October 2020 - 09:53 AM

I genuinely can't tell what is satire and what is cruel reality any more
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#1038 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 25 October 2020 - 10:05 PM

Mmmmmm ...yeah baby, you give that shirt a good hard tuck ...

https://www.theshove...shirt-category/

In other news, it's literally "business as usual" in case the worst - or the best - should happen:

https://www.theshove...to-run-america/

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 25 October 2020 - 10:08 PM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#1039 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 25 October 2020 - 11:11 PM

'Rick Erwin, the head of the Fraternal Order of Real Bearded Santas, isn’t happy with the news that had given Santa performers hope the holiday season wouldn’t be completely lost due to the pandemic. Caputo had told Erwin the vaccine would likely be approved by mid-November and front-line workers would get it before Thanksgiving. “If you and your colleagues are not essential workers, I don’t know what is,” Caputo said in a call. Erwin recorded phone calls he had with Caputo and shared them with the Journal. In another call, Caputo seemed really excited about the prospect of making the president happy with his plan. “I cannot wait to tell the president,” Caputo said. “He’s going to love this.”'

https://slate.com/ne...id-vaccine.html
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#1040 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 26 October 2020 - 01:06 AM

What happened to Mitch? He poke is head and widdle claw out and try to take a the largest cut of lettuce from an alligator snapping turtle?

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