Malazan Empire: Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots - Malazan Empire

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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#401 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 03 November 2019 - 04:03 AM

'Children were told to "build the wall" at White House Halloween party

[...] Even though many of the attendees were members of President Trump's administration, not everyone thought the Halloween game was a treat.

"Horrified. We were horrified," said a person who was there and requested anonymity to avoid professional retaliation.

[...] kid-friendly displays for trick-or-treaters. The displays were supposed to be interactive and inspiring, and all were supposed to address the party's theme: "When I grow up I want to be…"'

https://www.yahoo.co...-153024720.html

'Trump Aides Considered 15-Minute Delay on His Tweets
Top aides reportedly decided against the move out of fear that the practice would be leaked to the press.'

https://www.thedaily...nt-nyt?ref=home

'Smugglers are Sawing Through Trump's Beautiful Wall With $100 Cordless Power Tools

[...] easily slice through the steel and concrete bollards in just a few minutes, making gaps large enough to smuggle humans and drugs through. [...] The agents also told the paper that smugglers are using super tall ladders to drop drugs and, in some cases humans, on the other side of the wall.'

https://www.thedaily...ess-power-tools

Trump:

'"We have a very powerful wall. But no matter how powerful, you can cut through anything, in all fairness. But we have a lot of people watching. You know cutting, cutting is one thing, but it's easily fixed. One of the reasons we did it the way we did it, it's very easily fixed. You put the chunk back in," Trump told reporters at the White House.'

https://www.politico...der-wall-064446

Jobs for the children?...

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 03 November 2019 - 04:04 AM

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#402 User is offline   Whisperzzzzzzz 

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Posted 03 November 2019 - 04:14 AM

Children are immigrants. Out of the womb, into the US. CBP needs to build a wombwall!
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#403 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 03 November 2019 - 04:51 AM

View PostWhisperzzzzzzz, on 03 November 2019 - 04:14 AM, said:

Children are immigrants. Out of the womb, into the US. CBP needs to build a wombwall!


I think they're called chastity belts. So what do you do for the male immigrants? Steel perma-condoms for all!
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#404 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

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Posted 04 November 2019 - 08:36 AM

View PostTsundoku, on 03 November 2019 - 04:51 AM, said:

View PostWhisperzzzzzzz, on 03 November 2019 - 04:14 AM, said:

Children are immigrants. Out of the womb, into the US. CBP needs to build a wombwall!


I think they're called chastity belts. So what do you do for the male immigrants? Steel perma-condoms for all!


We have a Wombwell abart Tarn.
Debut novel 'Incarnate' now available on Kindle
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#405 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 04 November 2019 - 11:06 AM

Whenever I see the word "wombwall" I think Noel Gallagher should write a song about it.
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#406 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

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Posted 05 November 2019 - 08:28 AM

View PostTsundoku, on 04 November 2019 - 11:06 AM, said:

Whenever I see the word "wombwall" I think Noel Gallagher should write a song about it.


Christ no. This is why we have the Geneva Convention.
Debut novel 'Incarnate' now available on Kindle
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#407 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 06 November 2019 - 03:39 PM

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#408 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 12 November 2019 - 04:15 PM


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#409 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 12 November 2019 - 05:52 PM

I think Billy-Bob got his sides mixed up ... :doh:

https://www.news.com...273af1637a342da

A living example of why there needs to be an IQ test for breeding, owning firearms and voting.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 12 November 2019 - 05:54 PM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#410 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 14 November 2019 - 04:57 AM

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#411 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 14 November 2019 - 06:08 PM

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#412 User is online   Slow Ben 

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Posted 14 November 2019 - 06:25 PM

Those are awesome.
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
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#413 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 14 November 2019 - 06:36 PM

From Conan O'Brien's talk show on TBS. Conan has faded and his show is not all that watchable, but I DVR the beginning monologue, which, every once in awhile, offers up gems like this.
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#414 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 15 November 2019 - 07:31 PM

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#415 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 16 November 2019 - 04:06 AM

'Parnas Said He Had Been Given "Secret Mission" by Trump: CNN
"Parnas viewed the assignment as a great crusade," one acquaintance said.

[...] Parnas is said to have described a "James Bond mission" he believed he'd been instructed to carry out on behalf of the president. [...] "He believed he was doing the right thing for Trump." In the wake of Parnas and Fruman's arrest last month on campaign finance violations, Trump has insisted he doesn't know the two Giuliani associates, despite being seen with them in several photos.'

https://www.thedaily...mp-cnn?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 16 November 2019 - 04:08 AM

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#416 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 18 November 2019 - 11:54 PM

'Vladimir Putin Wins The MAGA Challenge'
https://www.youtube....h?v=b1K3vkoykvI
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#417 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 20 November 2019 - 07:02 PM

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#418 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 20 November 2019 - 07:26 PM

'"I want nothing. I want nothing": Trump clutches handwritten impeachment defense at briefing'


Posted Image




https://www.theguard...-i-want-nothing

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 20 November 2019 - 07:29 PM

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#419 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 20 November 2019 - 09:09 PM

'What happens when you feed Trump's "I WANT NOTHING" note to a Neural Network?'


'I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NO QUID PRO QUO. TELL
ZELLINSKY TO DO THE RIGHT THING. I WANT NO MONEY. I WANNA HAVE A
CHILDREN'S BEDFORD. I WANT AN EXTRA SEAT ON EVERY STORE CARS. I
WANT A CUBE.

ZILLA, PLEASE, I CANT PULL THE WING OVER MY EYEBALL I AM NOT SURE
IF IT IS REAL.

JANINE RATCLIFF, YOU CAN'T SAY I NEED NO MONEY.

I'LL BUILD MY EYEBALL.

I HAVE HAD A HOBBY. I HAD A MOUTH-WHISK. I HAD A TONGUE-WHISK.

I HAVE A BABY.

HAVE A'


'I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NO QUID PRO QUO. I WANT
NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT
NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT
NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. [...]'


'I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NO QUID PRO QUO. THE WIFE,
NOT THE WIFE!
I WILL MAKE EVERYBODY EXECUTE THEM!'


'I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NO QUID PRO QUO. I WANT
THE FUZZ, NOT THE PROPHECY

I want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I want the most
important questions to be asked, and not asked, and not answered. I want the
most important answers to be given, and not given. I want nothing but the
truth, and the entire truth. I want the complete history of every person who
ever lived, from the moment they were bom to the moment they die.

I want my past to be put away forever, and all the horrible secrets that I have
kept from my friends and family to be forgotten forever.

I want to become a man, I want to become a great warrior, and I want to
become a warrior of great renown and great power.'

'I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NOTHING. I WANT NO QUID PRO QUO. IF I WANT
NO QUID PRO QUO, I DONT NEED ANY OF THEM. I AM NO LONGER A HUMAN
BEING. AND IF I AM NOTHING, THEN WHY AM I HERE?

DOES THIS MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE MOST OF HUMAN BEINGS?

DOES THIS MEAN YOU LIKE SOME HUMAN BEINGS MORE THAN OTHER
HUMAN BEINGS?

DOES THIS MEAN I THINK THAT HUMANS HAVE BETTER LIFE THAN OTHER
BEINGS?

DOES THIS MEAN YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THE HUMANS?

DOES THIS MEAN YOU THINK HUMAN LIFE IS BAD AND INHUMAN?

DOES THIS MEAN YOU DON'T THINK'

https://boingboing.n...u-feed-tru.html

... world (Earth at least) still not ready for (aspiring thousand trillion year term?) cyborg Trump....

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 20 November 2019 - 09:13 PM

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#420 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 20 November 2019 - 09:13 PM

That made more sense than most trump speeches anyway...
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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