Malazan Empire: Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots - Malazan Empire

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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#1501 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 26 July 2021 - 12:37 AM

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https://twitter.com/...941946346188801

'Republican Senator Ted Cruz of Texas is known more for his internet trolling and loyalty to former President Donald Trump than passing legislation.

Whether he's joking about abandoning his constituents as they went without power during a deadly winter storm, or praising the Russian Military at the expense of the United States, Cruz is no stranger to widespread social media disdain.

[...] an eggplant emoji—long used to connote a penis—and a clown emoji.

"@bbbbbblob
what universe are we living in..."

"My imposter syndrome has suddenly evaporated"

"@Plott_Twist
There are not enough words in the English language for me to adequately verbalize my thoughts here"'

https://secondnexus....ant-emoji-tweet

'[... in] October, [Boris Johnson] allegedly sent a WhatsApp message: "I must say I have been rocked by some of the data on Covid fatalities. The median age is 82 – 81 for men, 85 for women. That is above life expectancy. So get Covid and live longer." Presumably, this was a joke'

https://www.theguard...-work-like-that
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#1502 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 27 July 2021 - 04:08 AM

'Michael Flynn was recently gifted an AR-15 by The Church of Glad Tidings in Yuba City, California.

While he was being presented with the rifle, Flynn commented [...] "Maybe I'll find somebody in Washington D.C…"'

'Flynn, who was national security advisor under Donald Trump, made the comment while on stage. His wildly inappropriate remark was met with applause and raucous laughter.'

https://www.comicsan...2653978683.html


'Thousands of members of the Trump cult waited outside for hours in the summer heat of Phoenix on [...] before gaining entrance to [...] where their personal god and savior appeared as part of his 2021 revenge tour. It was a political rally, a gospel revival, a rock concert, a carnival and a family reunion all in one.

As a show of loyalty to the Trump death cult, most of the attendees refused to wear masks to protect themselves and others [...] The Trumpists even went so far as to heckle the news media with chants of "No masks!"

[... Trump:]

"These people are crazy. Whatever happened to cows, remember they were going to get rid of all the cows? They stopped that, people didn't like that. Remember? You know why they were going to get rid of all the cows? People will be next."

"The Biden administration's action is an outrageous insult to the American people and to our country. The United States of America is the most just and virtuous nation in the world in the history of the world. And I'll tell you, you're not going to have a country very much longer. You're not going to have a country."




"Our country is being destroyed by people who have no right to destroy it. People that won an election illegally. People that should not have been elected. They lost in a landslide. Joe Biden and the radical Democrats are wrecking our nation. I don't even believe it's him. I honestly don't believe. I don't think Joe knows where the hell he is. I don't think it's him. [...] The border is gone. We went from the strongest border ever to the weakest border ever. The border is non-existent."'

https://www.salon.co...ven-a-metaphor/

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 27 July 2021 - 04:10 AM

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#1503 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 29 July 2021 - 01:27 AM

'Geraldo Threatens to Kick Fox Co-Host "in the Ass" to Protect His Grandkids
[...]

Noting that the government has mandated other vaccines, Rivera dismissed his colleagues' arguments that vaccine mandates and passports were an affront to personal freedom by calling their position "caveman stuff."

[...] said that Rivera was "politicizing" the issue and his approach was "not a good way to get people vaccinated," Gutfeld chimed in and insisted that Rivera didn't want to "persuade anybody" to get the jab.

"Because nothing you said is persuasive. When you call people names — and I know this for my own history—it doesn't persuade anybody," the so-called comedian added.

"You know what? Too bad," Rivera fired back. "If you come into my grandchildren's house and you are not vaccinated, I'm going to kick you in the ass!"

[...]

"When you sit here and try to crap on Americans because it makes you feel good, 'You're not going to come to my house!' We don't want to go to your house! [...]" Gutfeld shouted at the end.

"I'm not going to invite you," Rivera retorted.'

https://www.thedaily...ndkids?ref=home

'A new false conspiracy theory from Trump supporters is that Joe Biden was "repelled" from entering 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue by "the military" on inauguration day and has been living in an 80% replica scale model of the White House on Tyler Perry's Atlanta estate.'
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https://www.facebook...316507209835303
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#1504 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 01 August 2021 - 02:49 AM

'Rep. Matt Gaetz Tells Crowd His Brain Is Affected by "the Florida Variant"

[...] Speaking in front of what appeared to be a trailer featuring a life-size image of Donald Trump and the words, “Trump won!” Gaetz said, “You’ve had all the experts say look out for the delta variant or the lambda variant, well next it’ll be the Chi Omega variant or the Pi Kappa Psi variant. I got the Florida variant. I got the freedom variant. It affects the brain.”' [...] the remark comes on the same day that Florida, Gaetz’s home state and the one he represents, broke its record for most coronavirus cases recorded in a single day since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.'

https://www.thedaily...the-coronavirus

My cousin in Florida said his main symptom was he had the worst headache of his life, for days... he thought he was going to have a seizure. Probably infected his brain....
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#1505 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 03 August 2021 - 10:56 PM


They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#1506 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 05 August 2021 - 09:56 PM

I'm woke every morning. To be anything other than would not be good, right?

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BTW, this is the response after the USWNT won the bronze (the "woman with the purple hair" scored two goals). If you got into a discussion with a Trumpist though, they could not be convinced of that, I'm sure.
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#1507 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 06 August 2021 - 03:25 AM

View PostMalankazooie, on 05 August 2021 - 09:56 PM, said:

I'm woke every morning. To be anything other than would not be good, right?

Posted Image

BTW, this is the response after the USWNT won the bronze (the "woman with the purple hair" scored two goals). If you got into a discussion with a Trumpist though, they could not be convinced of that, I'm sure.


'Woke means you lose', but Trump lost, so Trump is woke? No, therefore he could not possibly have lost, unless the nation is so woke it lost Trump... sounds like he's ready for the Supreme Court.


'Cruz destroys his own argument against vaccine and mask mandates by comparing unvaccinated to smokers

[...]

"You know what? Smokers when they light up a cigarette, they're increasing their chances they're gonna get lung cancer, [...] That may not be a wise decision to do, but in America we get people the freedom to make decisions about their own own health [...] That means no mask mandates, no vaccine mandates, that means no vaccine passports."'

https://www.alternet...21/08/ted-cruz/

(I'll grant that Cruz does realize most Republican voters are not on the Supreme Court....)


'New Pro-Trump Social Media Site Overrun by ISIS Terrorist Propaganda

[... Stephen Miller's] GETTR [...]

Users have been subjected to graphic beheading videos, calls for violence against the west, and even depictions of militants executing Trump. The Politico report notes that at least 250 GETTR accounts regularly post such content, boosting it with pro-Jihadi hashtags.

In a statement, Miller said:

"ISIS is trying to attack the MAGA movement because President Trump wiped them off the face of the earth, [...] and the only ISIS members still alive are keyboard warriors hiding in caves"'

https://secondnexus....da-jason-miller
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#1508 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 06 August 2021 - 07:37 PM

I'll have a glass of wine every now and again with a fancy dinner, but I'm not really a wine drinker. But for those of you who feel "wine o'clock" is an obligation, you ever try this wine? Any good?


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#1509 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 11 August 2021 - 02:54 AM

'Russian Trolls Spread Wild Lie: Vax Turns People Into Chimps

[...] timed its disinformation campaigns to coincide with periods when regulatory authorities in various countries were considering expedited approval for Western vaccines, according to Facebook.


[...] pivoted off the fact that the AstraZeneca vaccine uses a harmless virus found in chimpanzees to claim that the jab would turn recipients into chimps themselves. The trolls took screenshots from the 1960s sci-fi classic Planet of the Apes showing ape guards manhandling Charlton Heston, captioned with "AstraZeneca's vaccine is safe! Yesterday we took the vaccine ourselves."

As part of their campaign, trolls linked out to Change.org petitions which tried to anchor the wild claims about chimpanzee transformation to out-of-context quotes from AstraZeneca company officials reported in legitimate news outlets.

The disinformation campaign "fell flat and it gained almost no traction across the internet," [...] The top performing post [...] garnered only five likes and attracted ridicule from fellow Facebook users who heckled sock puppets with epithets like "google expert."
[...] blasting hundreds of automated posts out and leading operators to mix Portuguese-language hashtags intended for Brazilian audiences on top of Hindi-language memes aimed at India.'


https://www.thedaily...chimps?ref=home

'Russia Melts Down: U.S. Rigged Olympics to Steal Our Golds'
[...]
Experts on Russian state television have been trying to read each country's Olympic gold medals as tea leaves, suggesting that the outcome determines the new global hegemon. Last week, pro-Kremlin pundits, hosts, and experts relished the idea of the "weakened" United States being edged out by China. The host of the state TV show 60 Minutes, Olga Skabeeva, pontificated: "You can't beat China. They have the most gold medals." Eager to inject Russia's notorious transphobic rhetoric into the conversation, Skabeeva added: "And none of them are transgenders, so they will keep procreating."
To Russia's dismay, the United States ultimately surpassed China[...]


[...] Lawmaker Aleksei Zhuravlyov described other countries competing in the Tokyo Games as "a pack of Russophobic beasts, headed by the United States." "Americans are freaks. Moral freaks. Why are we even discussing this parade of freaks and perverts?"


"The medal of the Israeli sportswoman is worthless, she should throw it out," he said, referring to Linoy Ashram's win over Russian Dina Averina in the rhythmic gymnastics all-around competition—which the Russian team asked to be overturned. "She hung shame around her neck." He proceeded to assert that American Olympic victories are "worthless" and likewise are "achieved by cheating," calling for all U.S. athletes to be allowed to compete only in the Paralympics, because so many of them are "sick."
[...] "During these Olympic Games, for the first time in history there has been such horror and mayhem... This outcome was planned in advance."

[...] RT's editor-in-chief, Margarita Simonyan, was so upset with the judges of the gymnastics competition that she tweeted: "After the slaughter of our gymnasts by judges from different countries, I really regret not working for the GRU." GRU, Russia's military intelligence agency, is known to specialize in sabotage and assassinations[...]

[...] Simonyan[...] described the Olympic judges as "beasts," posted their names on her Twitter account, and called for the Russians in Tokyo to spit at their backs. Simonyan insisted that Ashram can "remain a human being" only if she returns the gold medal. [...]


[...] "The biggest outcome is that our entire country saw and understood that there is an ongoing anti-Russian campaign, that we are encircled by the ring of enemies... not only according to the tales of TV propagandists, but in real life."'


https://www.thedaily...rticles&via=rss

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 11 August 2021 - 02:58 AM

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#1510 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 18 August 2021 - 01:06 AM

Flat Earth, Round Butt. 5G-Spot. ... they make a funny.


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#1511 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 20 August 2021 - 09:16 PM

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#1512 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 22 August 2021 - 07:44 PM

"I didn't expect this to be something that people were discussing because this isn't surprising or concerning in the least, shouldn't be, but there's people Fox News out there stoking outrage and fear with it"

*fixed.


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#1513 User is offline   Gust Hubb 

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Posted 22 August 2021 - 07:59 PM

Love this guy. And the followup interview with the tiger at the end was fun.

"You don't clean u other peoples messes.... You roll in them like a dog on leftover smoked whitefish torn out f the trash by raccoons after Sunday brunch on a hot day."
~Abyss

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#1514 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 25 August 2021 - 02:36 AM

'Alex Jones turns on Trump: "My god, maybe you're not that bright"

[...] Trump is "a dumbass," according to far-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. [...] Jones was condemning [Trump] for encouraging attendees at his Alabama rally over the weekend to get vaccinated[...]

[...] Just last week, Trump said that the vaccine booster shot sounded "like a money-making operation for Pfizer" during an appearance on Mornings With Maria on Fox Business.

"When these first came out, they were good for life[...] Then they were good for a year or two, and I could see the writing on the wall — I could see the dollar signs in their eyes," Trump said.

Jones claimed that he knew from day one that the advertised efficacy of Pfizer's vaccine was fraudulent and that Pfizer didn't even make a real vaccine, but instead a "frakenshot." Jones then took pity on Trump, saying the former president had been duped by "bad actors," including Big Pharma and CNN President Jeff Zucker.

"Shame on you, Trump," Jones said after playing the clip from Trump's Alabama rally.'

https://www.alternet...ex-jones-trump/

'Results of Arizona's election "audit," expected today, are delayed because most of the auditing team has tested positive for coronavirus'

https://twitter.com/...945055268253696

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 25 August 2021 - 02:37 AM

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#1515 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 26 August 2021 - 01:44 AM

'DeSantis Says Biden Should Follow Florida's Lead on COVID

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, speaking to Fox News [...] said [...] Biden had failed to "end COVID," whereas his state was experiencing "great success" in treating patients.

[...] "We are the first state to start the treatment centers for monoclonal antibodies [that a top DeSantis donor invested millions of dollars in before DeSantis started plugging it...]. We're having great success with that [his donor is making lots of money = more donations yay! mission accomplished]. That should have been a bigger plan, a bigger part of this whole response throughout the country from the beginning." [...] Funeral homes across the state have told local TV stations that they are full to the ceiling with the bodies of COVID-19 victims.'

https://www.thedaily...f=home?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 26 August 2021 - 01:51 AM

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#1516 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 27 August 2021 - 04:29 AM




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#1517 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 30 August 2021 - 07:14 PM

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#1518 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 02 September 2021 - 03:25 AM

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#1519 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 04 September 2021 - 01:46 PM

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#1520 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 05 September 2021 - 10:53 PM

'DeSantis Spokesperson Gets Shut Down After Saying Anti-Vaxxers Simply Believe Masks Work'

https://www.comicsan...2654878051.html

'Alex Jones gobbles ivermectin on-air during bizarre rant: "You think I'm easy to kill?''

[...] Jones has not reported an infection with COVID-19, making the strange diatribe even stranger.

"See this? See this Fauci? You see this Bill Gates?" he asked while unwrapping the pills.

"I'm going to kill those prions, you b*st*rd murderers, you're going to hit me with a bioweapon? You monster. You want to suppress me? You want to kill me? You son of a b*tch! You goddamn demon. You think I'm easy to kill? Think I'm going to roll over to your cr*p?"

He then washed the pills down with a swig from a green bottle of unknown provenance.

[...] "Yeah, that's why Joe's worth like $300 million, yeah, he's real stupid," Jones said of Rogan. That's why he lives in a $60 million house on the river. You leftists taking all the shots and dying are dumbasses. He's the one that headlines with Dave Chappelle, not you. You're stupid."

Jones has appeared many times on Rogan's podcast, which is currently one of the most popular in the world with a self-reported 200 million monthly downloads.'
https://www.salon.co...m-easy-to-kill/

#SkynetPleaseComeSoon

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 05 September 2021 - 10:53 PM

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