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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#1081 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 07 November 2020 - 06:56 PM

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#1082 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 08 November 2020 - 12:06 AM

As I mentioned in the USA Politics thread, Trump's team apparently tried to book the Four Seasons (luxury hotel) for a press conference, but accidentally booked Four Seasons Landscaping instead. 'the Four Seasons Hotel sent out its own tweet, making sure everyone knew that the news conference would not be held there but rather at the landscaping business that has "no relation with the hotel" [...]

[...] the parking lot of a landscaping business in the outskirts of the city in an industrial part of town was a drab backdrop for a news conference by a president who wanted to convince Americans he still had a chance of winning. And making matters even stranger[...]

"Four Seasons Total Landscaping. Next to Fantasy Island Adult Books. Across the street from the Delaware Valley Cremation Center. Between the fire extinguisher and yellow hose."'

https://slate.com/ne...conference.html

'Americans lost 138 million hours of sleep on election night
In the U.S., election night was the low point of the year when it comes to sleep.

According to data compiled through a health-tracking device designed in Finland, Americans lost a total of 138 million hours of sleep on election night. [Note: probably not a representative sample. (Though it was possibly worse....)]'

https://www.japantim...election-night/

'Crowd at White House Taunts Trump With "Y.M.C.A.," His Own Campaign Rally Song'

https://www.thedaily...aign-rally-song

'"Don't be ridiculous": Rudy Giuliani learns about Biden win from reporters

[...] "Who was it called by?" Giuliani asked, referring to the broadcast news networks. "All of them," replied a reporter.'

https://www.theguard...reporters-video

'Russian Media Is Angry and Desperate Over Biden Win

"What is the world coming to?"

Pro-Kremlin news anchors, pundits and experts have long dreaded former Vice President Joe Biden's victory in 2020, having described it as "the worst scenario for Russia." As their nightmare became an inevitable reality, Russian state television shows were permeated with angry faces and raw emotions.

"Nothing will ever be the same... What are we witnessing? What is the world coming to? Not only this country, but the world?" mournfully asked Evgeny Popov, the host of Russian state media show 60 Minutes. Panelists in the studio grimly outlined the bevy of consequences Biden's presidency may mean for the Kremlin.

[...] "Trump is ours, but couldn't lift anti-Russian sanctions because of the legislation signed into law by Democrats."

[...] "[Trump] didn't even come here. All U.S. presidents came to Russia and invited our president to their place in Washington, everyone except him. Donald Trump did not come to Moscow and never invited our president to Washington. all we are left with are bad memories."'

https://www.thedaily...y-and-desperate

https://www.rawstory...er-be-the-same/

There's a good chance he'll make a 'visit' to Russia before his presidency ends... if he doesn't invite Russian soldiers (or 'little green volk', at least) to the White House....

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 08 November 2020 - 12:07 AM

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#1083 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 08 November 2020 - 12:56 AM

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Four Seasons Total Landscaping:

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This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 08 November 2020 - 01:05 AM

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#1084 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 08 November 2020 - 03:12 AM

Off you fuck.

https://www.theshove...8/off-you-fuck/
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#1085 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 08 November 2020 - 05:59 PM

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#1086 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 09 November 2020 - 06:14 PM

Do you guys think that when Trump is definitively out of office (e.g. Jan. 20) and no longer wields the power of the american presidency, Putin will gift the world with the "pee pee tape"?

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#1087 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 10 November 2020 - 07:05 AM

Trump tweeted:

'Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump

@FoxNews, @QuinnipiacPoll, ABC/WaPo, NBC/WSJ were so inaccurate with their polls on me, that it really is tampering with an Election. They were so far off in their polling, and in their attempt to suppress - that they should be called out for Election Interference...'

'...The worst polling ever, and then they'll be back in four years to do it again. This is much more then voter and campaign finance suppression!'

https://twitter.com/...961114514038786

'This is good news, it means I won!

cc:
@RepDougCollins

@SecretarySonny

Brian Kemp
@BrianKempGA
Georgia's election result will include legally cast ballots - and ONLY legally cast ballots. Period.'

https://twitter.com/...956184613019648

'If you search "loser" on Twitter, Donald Trump is now the first result'

https://www.business...lection-2020-11

'Natural News[...] did not immediately pounce on the Pfizer news, but did publish two faux-news articles claiming that COVID vaccines might be ineffective and that child predators were going to coax children into vaccination in a bid to legally steal them from their parents.

Vaccine opposition has historically drawn from isolated, conspiratorial communities. One of the earliest anti-vaxx icons was Wilbur Glenn Voliva, a self-proclaimed theocrat who ran a dictatorial, Flat Earth-believing Illinois religious community in the early 1900s. Voliva, who ran newspaper advertisements for sermons against vaccination, also claimed that he would live to 120 because he lived on a strict diet of Brazil nuts and buttermilk. (He died of heart and kidney diseases considerably before reaching 120. He was nearly blind and also had diabetes.)

[...] White supremacist news sites now promote anti-vaccination content, which gets shared across more innocuous anti-vaxx Facebook groups.'

https://www.thedaily...us-news&via=rss



'Game of Thrones Night King Actor Trolls Trump By Claiming
Spoiler

'

https://screenrant.com/game-thrones-night-king-vladimir-furdik-trolls-trump/#:~:text=Game%20of%20Thrones'%20Night%20King,in%20the%20show's%20biggest%20battle.

'Four Seasons Total Landscaping becomes a VRChat hangout for furries

The Trump campaign's bizarre press conference is immortalized forever in VR'

https://www.theverge...es-vrchat-trump
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#1088 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 10 November 2020 - 11:33 PM

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#1089 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 11 November 2020 - 03:55 AM

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'President Baby Makes One Last Demand That Everyone Pay Attention to Him'

https://slate.com/ne...estructive.html

'since Mr. Trump's defeat, Q has fallen silent on 8kun, the website where all of Q's posts appear. QAnon-related activity on the site has slowed to a trickle — one recent day, there were fewer new posts on 8kun's most active QAnon board than on its board for adult-diaper fetishists.'

https://www.nytimes....k-now-what.html

'Kanye West Sued for $1 Million in Unpaid Wages

In addition to failing miserably in his attempt to become the next president of the United States, Kanye West is now adding another potential L to his resume. The Grammy-nominated rapper is reportedly being sued in a class-action lawsuit for unpaid wages connected to his [evangelical Christian] Nebuchadnezzar live opera.

[...] the plaintiffs, which include background actors and hairstylists, claim they weren't paid on time or paid at all for their work.'

https://thegrapevine...1-mi-1845632410

'the Philadelphia Inquirer was able to track down the name of a 74-year-old woman in Allegheny County who was apparently mailed a ballot on Oct. 24 — two days after she died. The elections board said the ballot was returned, and it was received on Nov. 2. It was marked "recorded," though reports said it was unclear whether that means the ballot had officially been tallied.

"My parents are not people who do voter fraud," the woman's daughter, who helped her mother fill in her ballot application before she died said. "My parents aren't people who break the law. My dad never even paid a bill late in his life."

The woman said she asked her father, who is 77, if he had returned the ballot, but he could not recall. She added that her mother did not keep up with politics, but she had planned to vote for Trump.'

https://www.salon.co...ed-in-election/

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 11 November 2020 - 03:55 AM

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#1090 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 11 November 2020 - 06:06 PM

'Trump Donors "Horrified" After Kimberly Guilfoyle Reportedly Offered Them Lap Dances And Hot Tub Parties At Fundraising Event

[...] former Fox News host and current girlfriend of Don Jr. [...]

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Guilfoyle, who headed Trump's fundraising effort, reportedly cultivated an environment Politico dubbed an "HR nightmare." And beyond that, Guilfoyle was said to regularly make jokes about her sex life and exhibit other sexually aggressive behavior that totally freaked out high profile donors.

"During a December donor event at Trump Hotel in Washington, Guilfoyle offered to give a lap dance to whoever raised the most money"'

https://giphy.com/gi...czLAvbgHLDpFcXe

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#1091 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 12 November 2020 - 09:47 PM

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'Fox sinks as speculation grows around Trump looking to "wreck" it with rival operation

Fox is dragging on media stocks this morning (FOX -5.1%, FOXA -5.5%) amid the prospect of finding President Trump - formerly its highest-profile backer - as a potential new rival.

Speculation that a post-presidential Trump would move into media (a kind of "Trump TV") has been longstanding, but it's come into focus today even as Trump pursues legal challenges to the U.S. election, called for President-elect Joe Biden.

[...] Trump has commented to friends he wants to "wreck" Fox News through a digital media company.

He's been vocal about what he sees as Fox's insufficient loyalty, most recently including Fox's early call of Arizona's vote for Biden. On the network's own air, he told Fox & Friends that "Fox has changed a lot."'

https://seekingalpha...rival-operation

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 12 November 2020 - 09:47 PM

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#1092 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 13 November 2020 - 02:12 AM

Vermont is quite granular and specific about reporting election data, including the write-in votes Vermont citizens filled in on their ballots.

Here's a complete taxonomy of every single write-in vote from Vermont


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This post has been edited by Malankazooie: 13 November 2020 - 02:12 AM

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#1093 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 13 November 2020 - 03:21 AM

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[satire]
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#1094 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 13 November 2020 - 10:31 PM

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#1095 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 14 November 2020 - 04:37 AM

'Bolsonaro so popular in Brazil that over 70 election candidates have borrowed his name

Running for office in Brazil's municipal elections this weekend are, in no particular order, Adilson Bolsonaro, Aldo Bolsonaro, Angela Bolsonaro, Fernanda Bolsonaro, Zezinho Bolsonaro, Junior Bolsonaro, Maclaiten Bolsonaro, Cabo Ramos Bolsonaro and Wesley Bolsonaro.

None of them are related to the president, Jair Bolsonaro – and in fact none of them are actually even named Bolsonaro. But in a sign of just how wildly popular his Trumpian brand of conservative politics is in many parts of the Brazilian hinterland, scores of candidates are tacking Bolsonaro onto their registered names appearing on ballots this Sunday. In all, more than 70 politicians have adopted it.

"His popularity is growing every day," said Jair Sousa Silva, a former evangelical pastor who is running under the name Jair Bolsonaro for a city council seat in a town in the Amazon. "When I'm asking for votes from my brothers of faith, I'm known as Brother Jair, Pastor Jair, and also Jair Bolsonaro."

The few exceptions are family members who are running in Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro, including Carlos Bolsonaro, the president's son, who is seeking re-election as a Rio councilman.'

https://www.scmp.com...candidates-have

Trump would probably charge for this... or at least sue anyone who refuses to pay up....

'Trump's Election "Coup" Is More Like a Fake Orgasm'

[...] the military needs to support said coup and they won't.

"They may be telling him that [they are], but it is the fake orgasm of coups. They're making noises that sound real, but it's not real," says Rick.'

https://www.thedaily...orgasm?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 14 November 2020 - 04:37 AM

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#1096 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 14 November 2020 - 09:08 PM

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'Despite going all in on his support for Donald Trump, SoundCloud rapper Lil Pump didn't bother to vote in the 2020 presidential election. In fact, Pump didn't even register to vote[...] Pump, or as Trump called him, Lil Pimp, would be considered a resident of Miami-Dade County since he bought a home in Miami Beach last year, which is described in mortgage records as his "principal residence." [...] Pump also stated he would be "paying an extra 33 in taxes" with Biden as president. While Biden's tax plan is expected to raise taxes on Americans making over $400,000, it's unclear where he's getting this idea of an "extra 33" from.'

https://www.complex....pump-trump-vote

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'How Trump's Voter Fraud War Room Became a Fart-Infused "Room From Hell"

The president's campaign built a tip line that left its own staff feeling traumatized, then hung out to dry by Team Trump.

[...] When the room first opened for business, staffers worked in rotating shifts, from 7 a.m. ET to 1 a.m. the following day, a source with knowledge of the matter said. No complimentary food was regularly provided. And the phones were constantly ringing in the dreary, dull hell-space, like a scene out of the movie Boiler Room.

[...] the hotline was inundated for nearly a week by crank callers impersonating public figures such as Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani, anti-Trump callers launching into vulgarity-laden tirades, pranksters making sounds of flatulence, and others issuing threats of physical violence at the lower- and mid-level Trump 2020 staffers.

After hours stuck on tip-line duty, staff would often leave looking visibly upset, worn out, and feeling undervalued. [...] they had to go to the bathroom at least twice over the last few days just to cry because of the sheer volume of abusive phone calls.

"It's misery. It's one of the worst ways to end a campaign that you could think of," this person said. Some staff had started getting aggressive with the prank callers, giving fake names and arguing or yelling back into the landline.

Though these Trump campaign hands exhaled a heavy sigh of relief on Friday as news trickled out that the telephone tip-line would cease operations, the emotional damage had already been done, the insult layered thickly on top of injury.'

https://www.thedaily...m-hell?ref=home


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'Trump Taps Giuliani to Lead Election Lawsuits After Disastrous Day of Losses'

https://www.thedaily...losses?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 14 November 2020 - 09:09 PM

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#1097 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 15 November 2020 - 09:05 PM

Trump tweeted:

'John Bolton was one of the dumbest people in government that I've had the "pleasure" to work with. A sullen, dull and quiet guy, he added nothing to National Security except, "Gee, let's go to war."'

https://twitter.com/...055196904251397

'He only won in the eyes of the FAKE NEWS MEDIA. I concede NOTHING! We have a long way to go. This was a RIGGED ELECTION!
This claim about election fraud is disputed'

'RIGGED ELECTION. WE WILL WIN!

This claim about election fraud is disputed'

'Watch @RudyGiuliani interview on @MariaBartiromo this morning at 10:00. Doing a great job exposing the Rigged Election Hoax!
This claim about election fraud is disputed'

'Radical Left ANTIFA SCUM was easily rebuffed today by the big D.C. MAGA Rally crowd, only to return at night, after 99% of the crowd had left, to assault elderly people and families.'

https://twitter.com/...834542707793921

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'[...] The funniest thing about this entire idiotic story is that I could not find one mention of Dallas Jones having been arrested in Google and calls to Wayne County law enforcement as well as officials in surrounding communities didn't find any arrest records. Instead, all of these QAnon chuckleheads were pointing to this story as "proof," which turns out to be something that was posted on a French-language QAnon web site. It also has a time stamp dated four days from now[...]

I decided I would run the arrest photo through an image search engine to see what I could find. I wasn't able to right-click and save the image, since the web site had used java-script to warn me I was committing "copyright infringement." Which is pretty freaking hilarious, given that image is not Dallas Jones. Instead, it's a photo of [actor] Cuba Gooding Jr. being arrested in 2019[...]

The QAnon web site uses a slightly different photo than the AP one used in the Gooding story. But it's clearly from the same sequence of shots, even if the QAnon photo it so grainy it could have been taken from space.

Now if it turns out that Cuba Gooding Jr. has been arrested for ballot harvesting [edit: or if Cuba Gooding Jr. is Dallas Jones], then THAT would be a story.'

https://allyourscree...cuba-gooding-jr

'Tucker Carlson Apologizes for Claiming 96-Year-Old Georgia Voter Was a Dead Man

Sleuths at a local news station roundly debunked the Fox News host’s claims that two dead Georgians had voted in this month’s election.

Fox News host Tucker Carlson opened his show Wednesday by proclaiming that “truth really matters more than ever.” What he was about to report was “not a theory,” he said, adding: “It happened and we can prove it.”

But two days later, he opened with an apology. [...]

[...] “So apologies for that, and of course we’re always going to correct when we’re wrong. And we were.”

Carlson did not mention that another of the allegedly dead voters he profiled on his show, Linda Kesler, had not voted either. That vote was cast by Lynda Kesler, who—as sleuths at the fittingly named 11Alive News channel discovered—was alive and well and voting legally in the election.

[...] Countless other claims of dead people voting have been debunked by major news organizations like CNN, which this week examined 50 of the more than 14,000 names on a list of allegedly dead voters being circulated by Trump supporters and found none of them had voted from the grave.

But Carlson remained defiant, claiming Friday that “a whole bunch of dead people did vote,” and that he had “proved it” because he “showed you their names”—the exact same thing he had done for Blalock and Kessler. He did not add any more evidence to support this claim.'

https://www.thedaily...-was-a-dead-man

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 15 November 2020 - 09:34 PM

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#1098 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 16 November 2020 - 06:17 PM

President Trump has been hard at work today, starting with a midnight tweet:

'Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
·
13h
I WON THE ELECTION!
Official sources called this election differently

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
·
4h
Most fraudulent Election in history!

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
·
4h
Dominion is running our Election. Rigged!
This claim about election fraud is disputed

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
·
4h
I won the Election!
Official sources called this election differently

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
·
3h
Another Vaccine just announced. This time by Moderna, 95% effective. For those great "historians", please remember that these great discoveries, which will end the China Plague, all took place on my watch!

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
·
2h
The Radical Left Democrats, working with their partner, the Fake News Media, are trying to STEAL this Election. We won't let them!
This claim about election fraud is disputed'

... and many more....

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 16 November 2020 - 06:18 PM

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#1099 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 16 November 2020 - 11:50 PM

'People Are Stunned After Trump Appears To Have Suddenly Gone Gray Following The Election'

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https://www.comicsan...lqShkidIHkh16iA
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#1100 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 17 November 2020 - 01:27 AM

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