Malazan Empire: Willful Child - Just finished it. - Malazan Empire

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Willful Child - Just finished it. BWAAAHAHAHno spoilers, then spoilersAHAahahahaaaHHAHAHAHHeee

#1 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 27 October 2014 - 07:52 PM

Oh damn that was funny.


NO spoilers up here, full blown unblocked SPOILERS from the second post below onwards.




Seriously, i haven't laughed that hard at a book since the mule thing in The Bonehunters.


Steven Erikson takes everything that is good and sacred about Star Trek (mostly classic TOS with a dose or two of TNG) and boldly goes ... everywhere. Willful Child is at once love letter and glorious satire.


It's all here... every trope, every contrivance, every time Kirk ever got laid... it's all here, turned sideways and so damn funny.


Captain Hadrian Sawyer is the Captain of the ASF Willful Child. It's mission is whatever he says it should be.


The book is more or less episodic... moving from event to event, sequences loosely based around Trek episodes or familiar plot devices. There's an overarching plot that links up the entire book and reaches a satisfying conclusion. There's plenty of room for more books, but this is solid as a one-and-done. No cliffhangers.


The key cast members are memorable in their own ways and while it's Hadrian's story, most of them get their moment to shine, sometimes many. Notably, First Commander Sin-dour is a good foil to Hadrian, Adjutant Lorrin Tighe is hopelessly outclassed bby Hadrian but tries really hard, and medical doctor Printlip, an alien whose primary characteristic is to deflate if it talks too much, is a great running gag... and that poor Chief Engineer... and the marines... and the security officer Galk and.... i really have to just stop before i spoil.

If you like Steven Erikson, Trek, and/or sf humour, you need this book.
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#2 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 27 October 2014 - 09:26 PM

A minor note: some nerds with free time figured out that Kirk only got laid four times in the original 79 episode TV series.

He did a lot of flirting and had some old flames pop up again, but very few actual hook-ups.
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#3 User is offline   firvulag 

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Posted 28 October 2014 - 10:31 AM

I've also read this recently and I have to confess I thought it was meh. I loved Erikson's Malazan novels and I grew up watching Star Trek (TNG not TOS). I got the jokes I just didn't find them funny. Overall, I found the book disappointing, but I've got a feeling I'll be in the minority here.
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Posted 28 October 2014 - 02:42 PM

View Postamphibian, on 27 October 2014 - 09:26 PM, said:

A minor note: some nerds with free time figured out that Kirk only got laid four times in the original 79 episode TV series.

He did a lot of flirting and had some old flames pop up again, but very few actual hook-ups.


I think that means he still beats Hadrian, albeit not for lack of trying.
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Posted 28 October 2014 - 02:55 PM

Now then, SPOILERS

SPOILERS

SPOILERS


TO BOLDLY SPOIL

WHAT NO SPOILER

HAS SPOILED BEFORE



BEST CHARACTER - The semi-malevolent alien AI male chicken named Tammy. Because semi-malevolent alien AI male chicken named Tammy.

BEST LAUGH - every time the doctor ran out of air and deflated.

BEST MOMENT I INITIALLY HATED THEN LOVED - Hadrian apparently torching 500 sentient gas beings on Venus at the start of the book, then revealing they were the equivalent of alien rats and a running joke among the race that put them there as a 'gift'.

BEST NOD TO TREK SILLINESS - Hadrian hurling himself sideways into a crowd of amazons and knocking them down like bowling pins. Also, every time Hadrian's shirt gets ripped. Which was every time.

BEST WTF - The wave of kittens.

BEST RUNNING JOKE - The Chief Engineer getting stoned out of his mind to deal with the trauma.

BEST SPOOF ON TREK - The Mirror Universe of S&M Hugs. ...Hey i'd want to stay there too.

BEST LOL I DIDN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND UNTIL I DID - "Hit it Tammy!" *music plays*

BEST SPACE COMBAT - The race whose weapons consist of As Seen On TV products being beamed onto and fired into the Child.

BEST MOMENT OF SPACE DIPLOMACY, PARAPHRASED - "We surrender." "Fire all weapons." "But they surrendered." "That's just a ploy so they can fuck up our economy. Fire."

BEST UNDERLYING MESSAGE OF MEANINGFULNESS - Humanity is lazy and given the choice, will look at pictures of cats on the internet rather than explore space.


...all in all this was SO MUCH fun. A fast, entertaining read. Easily worth the dollars and eyetime and I'll cheerfully buy another Willful Child adventure if SE decides to write one.
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#6 User is offline   Imperial Historian 

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Posted 07 November 2014 - 03:01 PM

Finished this yesterday, I enjoyed bits of it, but I found that it was a bit hit and miss. The book is very episodic in nature (as is perhaps fitting) and is probably best read in multiple short bursts rather than an extended sitting. Erikson fires off joke after joke in this, some of these jokes I found extremely funny, whilst others not so much. I haven't really watched much star trek before so I may be missing some of the jokes specifically aimed at trekkies. On the whole though I found that SE's humour (which works really well in the malazan series and especially the k&B books) didn't come off as well here, and a lot of stuff fell flat for me.

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Posted 08 November 2014 - 05:42 AM

The chicken wasn't evil, it was just lonely.
...ok maybe a little evil.
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#8 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 04:58 PM

OK as a non-Trekkie I loved this book. Sure I bet there are bits of it that would have made more sense if I knew what they were ripping off, but by heck it is still one funny book. Throughout I couldn't help be reminded of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy in some of the absurd humour (see "knickknacks being fired" or "wave of kittens" etc.) Each race that came up was wonderfully bizarre and funny (a year in the sex goo?) and Captain Hadrians unsuccessful attempts at wooing his hot crew (the scene where he woke up a day after getting it on with scary marine lady was hilarious!)

So yeah, I'm hoping SE randomly writes more of these inbetween other works. There is plenty of source material to lovingly rip to shreds and I would buy all future sequels!

EDIT: Oh man just reading through some of the other comments is reminding me of some other hilarious bits. Too funny!

This post has been edited by Tiste Simeon: 12 November 2014 - 05:00 PM

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#9 User is offline   Andorion 

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 05:07 PM

Finished this today, and I just laughed all through. Funniest book I have read in a long time. I am a non-trekkie, so I probably missed a bunch of inside jokes, but it didn't really matter, becasue this book was parody gold. Hope SE produces more occasional gems like this.
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#10 User is offline   Ribald 

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Posted 12 November 2014 - 10:06 PM

I loved this book. Some of the jokes had me nearly crying with laughter as I pictured the scene, others had me laughing aloud. And, I admit, there were some that passed me by as 'meh'. But that is the nature of comedy, we can't all find the same things funny. But SE really throws the comedy at you and far more of it hits the target than misses in my case.

For whatever reason there was a lot in this book that just tickled me the right way.

'Hit it, Tammy.' *Music Plays* still makes me laugh.

The ridiculous guns, the weird and wonderful technology. The banter between Hadrian and Tammy. The one-liners about SF clichés like the 'maximum zoom' joke.

And then there were the clever jokes making fun of TV shows like the only way all the bridge crew on an SF tv show can be that good looking would be if the Captain picked them out via their pictures. Or teh use of heavy SFX when a character walks out an airlock.

I really loved the book.
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#11 User is offline   Moss 

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Posted 14 November 2014 - 06:56 PM

I liked it.

I didn't spilled my Tee over the jokes, but, as a big Star Trek fan, I liked it for all the references alone. They were very imaginative twists off common Star Trek tropes, especially "the Collectors" come to my mind thinking of it a bit more :).

The pace was very fast (a reference in itself), which was great. The book is a page-turner.

My only Con: Sometimes I wished the story would take place in a more serious context. It would be a great universe full of conflict and drama to explore (think MBotF in Space).
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#12 User is offline   Stoneburner 

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Posted 09 February 2015 - 04:06 AM

I hope he makes more of these. This was ungodly funny.
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#13 User is offline   champ 

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Posted 02 April 2015 - 09:01 AM

Man, this book was so fun with a load of laugh out loud moments, enjoyed it far more than I thought I would!

From the first chapter with the junk yard dog with the kill command, I knew I was going to love it!

Especially laughing at the 2IC reference to her being a Northumberland lass who wears next to no clothing on a cold night out... so true!

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'Yet my heart breaks for a naked hen.'
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#14 User is offline   TheRetiredBridgeburner 

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Posted 09 May 2015 - 10:12 AM

Finished it a couple of nights back.

Enjoyed it much more than I expected to! Like Tiste I know little about Star Trek (although the other half did point out to me that each uniform change Hadrian has is a uniform from a different series).

The swarm of kittens and "Hit it Tammy" were probably my favourite gags.

"We love you we love you fuck off!" had me giggling for days, as the owner of a cat Posted Image
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#15 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 06 January 2016 - 03:48 PM

I quite liked most of this. The action scenes were great, most of the jokes were very well done, and the propulsive story is right for this tone of work.

However, I think the beginning portion clunks a bit (the grandpa, boy, and dog) and it's difficult to get a proper read on Sin-Dour, who seems to be quite important to the narrative beyond the first book.
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Posted 03 October 2016 - 01:36 PM

Read it yesterday in one sitting. Very funny and a lot of it was laugh out loud funny. I'm not a big fan of Star Trek, but in the way of someone who claims not to be a fan but has still seen every episode 19 times. ;)
Did anyone else catch the nod to Charlton Heston's hammy Planet of the Apes performance (or was it James Franciscus' hammy BtPotA permormance)? Makes me wonder if i missed a slew of other subtle genre homages that went over my head.
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