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No probs, in your own time. I find it difficult myself finding time for reviewing
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The Name Alone
#2 Guest_Brukhalian_*
Posted 27 June 2005 - 06:09 PM
Cheers all... when I have the first four chapters rewritten I will send them on.
#3
Fist Gamet 
- Mortal Sword
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- Interests:Writing, reading, writing, climbing, writing, scuba diving and writing (not at the same time)
Posted 24 June 2005 - 12:50 PM
Of course I will have a read, mate.
Victory is mine!
#4
opiate taylor
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Posted 25 June 2005 - 05:45 AM
"The commodore says you're a fucking asshole."
#5
opiate taylor
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Posted 25 July 2005 - 05:26 AM
Sorry it has taken me so long to get around to reading your work. Anyway... I just finished reading it and it kept me intersted throughout. Your descriptions are well-done, especially with the boats, piers, etc. It sounds as if you have more than just a cursory knowledge of those things. I also enjoyed your dialogue. I think it flows well and doesn't sound forced. I loved your characterazation, from the guarded Harken, to the secretive innkeeper and the clever Runt. I do see a few things that could be improved upon. The first half of what I read contained too many adverbs for my taste, as I think it clutters otherwise concise passages. I think also a bit of foreshadowing with Runt would add to her impact, as well as Truss and his bro. Other than that, I like your use of vocabulary. Not too many big words, but enough to balance it out. I did see a few grammar mistakes and missing words, but I understand it is a work in progress. To summmarize, keep it up! I see potential for a really good story here and I think your writing will only get better as you go. Send me more!
"The commodore says you're a fucking asshole."
#6
opiate taylor
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Posted 26 July 2005 - 01:04 AM
looking forward to the next four chapters. hopefully, I'll get around to reading them a bit faster=)
"The commodore says you're a fucking asshole."
#7
drinksinbars
- Soletaken
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Posted 22 June 2005 - 11:56 PM
send us the copy and ill read through it while your away
#8 Guest_Brukhalian_*
Posted 25 July 2005 - 05:49 AM
Cheers mate,
I will go back and look out for the adverbs see if I can cut down the unneccessary ones.
I'm glad no one has as yet mentioned any core problems. Let's hope that continues. I will send the next four chapters when I'm done in a week or so.
I will go back and look out for the adverbs see if I can cut down the unneccessary ones.
I'm glad no one has as yet mentioned any core problems. Let's hope that continues. I will send the next four chapters when I'm done in a week or so.
#9 Guest_Brukhalian_*
Posted 22 June 2005 - 08:37 AM
Some of you may know that I've been writing a book now for the first few months (see the 'Introducing....' thread) well I thought I would post to say the first draft is now complete and the whole manuscript is weighing in at 127,000 words under the current working title of 'The Name Alone'.
I'm off on holiday tomorrow and after that I might try my hand at a short story, but after that I will be rewriting and looking for volunteers to evaluate.
Currently Mal and DIB are signed up, but the more the merrier.
I'm off on holiday tomorrow and after that I might try my hand at a short story, but after that I will be rewriting and looking for volunteers to evaluate.
Currently Mal and DIB are signed up, but the more the merrier.
#10
Fist Gamet
- Mortal Sword
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 1,106
- Joined: 10-March 03
- Location:Wales...and London!
- Interests:Writing, reading, writing, climbing, writing, scuba diving and writing (not at the same time)
Posted 18 July 2005 - 01:39 PM
Got them thanks. I have been away for a bit but have returned! Got some catching up to do but I will read it when I get the chance (still got some other reviews pending 
)
)
Victory is mine!
#11 Guest_Brukhalian_*
Posted 18 July 2005 - 02:09 AM
I've sent out Chapters 1-4 to those who have expressed an interest. If you haven't received a copy let me know.
Cheers
Cheers
#12 Guest_Brukhalian_*
Posted 04 August 2005 - 11:56 AM
I was going to post the first four chapters here for casual browsers, unfortunately this forum now has a shockingly low sze limit for attachments
#13 Guest_Brukhalian_*
Posted 05 August 2005 - 09:25 AM
OK, I've managed to post an example. Unfortunately it's only the first chapter because of the ridiculously tight upload limit
#14
Yellow
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Posted 05 August 2005 - 09:34 AM
Do you have webspace with your ISP? You could host your files on your own site...
Alternatively, you could use something like www.yousendit.com and then post the link (though it would only stay up for a week, unfortunately).
If you're happy to post a chapter at a time, then that's cool too
Alternatively, you could use something like www.yousendit.com and then post the link (though it would only stay up for a week, unfortunately).
If you're happy to post a chapter at a time, then that's cool too
Don't fuck with the Culture.
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