Haunted by Dead Chicken Spirits

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Haunted by Dead Chicken Spirits Cuckoo Nightmare

#1 Otataral Toblakai

Fist

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 05:33 AM

I have a problem. A big problem, big bangish in scope. I am haunted by dead chicken spirits, spirits of supposedly a number of chickens, I, in my prime butchered mercilessly in an attempt to act like a macho outdoorish guy. To make it worse, I didn't manage to make that clean no bloodshed chop but actually lengthened the whole death time period. The result - shattered chicken spirits who now haunt my every move. Picture evil chicken laughs and evil chickens with butcher knives in hand. I know I committed genocide but I blame the media!

Yes, the media. All their displays of male machoness and outdoor spirits where true men display masculinity by attempting to butcher animals mercilessly and then roast them over open fires under open skies. But that isnt the problem here. The problem is, what should I do? Even now the evil chicken laugh resonates around me, hanging around like

Spoiler

. I am tormented beyond belief. I am pained. Each waking moment is a nightmare, a mother nightmare.

The horror.

*squeals*

Help me!

Help

*evil chicken laugh*

Disclaimer: The Toblakai in my nick is in no way Karsa but the spawn of a Thelomen Toblakai and the Otataral Dragon.
Disclaimer to the disclaimer: Thinks about his signature and wonders how on earth would a Toblakai and the Otataral Dragon...create offspring?

#2 worry

Master of the Deck

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Location:the buried west

Posted 08 March 2012 - 05:49 AM

I heard chickens can feel pain longer after you've eaten them.

They came with white hands and left with red hands.

#3 Aptorian

How 'bout a hug?

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 06:34 AM

You should consult Rodeo Ranch. He has experience with this kind of stuff I am sure.

#4 T'renn

First Sword

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Cussing Forevah

Posted 08 March 2012 - 08:12 AM

Try to get your house exorcised, then you at least have one place free of chicken mayhem

...Every tale is a gift,
And the scars bourne by us both,
are easily missed,
In the distance between us.

-Fisher-

Don't be blind,
Mind,
To be kind,
For you will find,

Kindness has its own rewards,
and each must find his way to heaven

-T.D. Mengerink-

#5 Adjutant Stormy~

Captain, Team Quick Ben

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 08:34 AM

Wat.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Aptorian @ Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=462161"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'>God damn. Mighty drunk. Must ... what is the english movement movement movement for drunk... with out you seemimg drunk?

bla bla bla

Peopleare harrasing me... grrrrrh.

Also people with big noses aren't jews, they're just french

EDIT: We has editted so mucj that5 we're not quite sure... also, leave britney alone.</div>

#6 Ain't_It_Just_

The Recidivist

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The AIJman cometh

Posted 08 March 2012 - 10:56 AM

Funny thing, OT, today I read a story about a woman in America who's being terrorised by an 11-kilogram turkey named "Godzilla." You and her should join forces, pool resources and sack up to ice the avian devils!

Suck it Errant!

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.

#7 RodeoRanch

The Midnight Special

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 05:50 PM

Could be worse. They could be live birds trying to murder you.

#8 powerclaw

Moral Ambiguity

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Interests:Reading, Warhammer/Warmahordes, Painting (the miniatures above), Poetry (at times), Chemical Engineering (When I have to), Gymnastics (one arched eyebrow)
Wth is Jabber?

Posted 08 March 2012 - 07:05 PM

"Never let your morals stand in the way of doing what is right."
-Isaac Asimov

#9 Otataral Toblakai

Fist

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Posted 09 March 2012 - 07:37 AM

worrywort, on 08 March 2012 - 05:49 AM, said:

I heard chickens can feel pain longer after you've eaten them.

I heard chickens can feel pain longer after you've ~~eaten~~ killed them.

#10 Otataral Toblakai

Fist

Group: Malaz Regular
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Joined: 29-October 10

Posted 09 March 2012 - 07:38 AM

Aptorius, on 08 March 2012 - 06:34 AM, said:

You should consult Rodeo Ranch. He has experience with this kind of stuff I am sure.

I am unaware of this fine member of the human species. Care to hook me up?

#11 Otataral Toblakai

Fist

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 227
Joined: 29-October 10

Posted 09 March 2012 - 07:40 AM

T, on 08 March 2012 - 08:12 AM, said:

Try to get your house exorcised, then you at least have one place free of chicken mayhem

I called the priest. Did you know what he told me? He told that I am the evil one here. He told me that the chickens are the good guys. He shall bear the print of my CAT boot on his feeble behind for all eternity.

#12 Otataral Toblakai

Fist

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Posted 09 March 2012 - 07:42 AM

Ain, on 08 March 2012 - 10:56 AM, said:

Been there, Ain't_It_Just_, been there. Add an angry father duck to the mix as well. Seems as though the whole avian species is aligned against me.

On the other hand, have a look at Mike the Headless Chicken who live for 18 months, headless.

http://en.wikipedia....eadless_Chicken

#13 Otataral Toblakai

Fist

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Joined: 29-October 10

Posted 09 March 2012 - 07:45 AM

RodeoRanch, on 08 March 2012 - 05:50 PM, said:

Could be worse. They could be live birds trying to murder you.

Ah. At least i'd have a better chance of survival seeing as I could strangle them, broom them or puff them away.

On another note, another fine resident of this fine plane of existence in the technosphere stated that you could be of assistance in sweeping away this predicament. Care to offer an antidote?

#14 Tiste Simeon

Faith, Heavy Metal & Bacon

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Posted 09 March 2012 - 09:42 AM

Hey OT, I wouldn't look out the window right now...

Posted Image

A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.

#15 worry

Master of the Deck

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Location:the buried west

Posted 09 March 2012 - 10:20 AM

Otataral Toblakai, on 09 March 2012 - 07:37 AM, said:

worrywort, on 08 March 2012 - 05:49 AM, said:

I heard chickens can feel pain longer after you've eaten them.

I heard chickens can feel pain longer after you've ~~eaten~~ killed them.

so you're just killing chickens for the hell of it?

They came with white hands and left with red hands.

#16 RodeoRanch

The Midnight Special

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Location:Alberta, Canada

Posted 09 March 2012 - 11:09 PM

Otataral Toblakai, on 09 March 2012 - 07:45 AM, said:

RodeoRanch, on 08 March 2012 - 05:50 PM, said:

Could be worse. They could be live birds trying to murder you.

High levels of inebriation.

#17 Illuyankas

Retro Classic

Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
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Joined: 28-September 04
Will cluck you up

Posted 10 March 2012 - 10:47 AM

DAH DAH-DAH DAH DAH DAH
DAHDAHDAHDAHDAHDAH
DAH DAH-DAH DAH DAH DAH
GHOSTBUSTERS

Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.

#18 Fid

Old Git of High House Muttley

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Posted 10 March 2012 - 10:57 AM

Well that's one approach - invite Illy to get rid of the evidence. Some more coals needed on the BBQ I think.

#19 Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy

unaligned and irremediable

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Location:the city of dreaming spires
Interests:vested.
Ugly is the new pretty.

Posted 10 March 2012 - 12:16 PM

First, get yer head checked.

If that doesn't improve your predicament, then find somebody who can talk to dead animal spirits, and ask the chicken spirits for forgiveness. They may ask you to perform some acts of sincere penitence, such as praying this following thing for the rest of your life http://www.missionst...ash/litany.html, and maybe you may never eat chicken again ever, also for the rest of your life.

but are they worth preserving?
'that judgement does not belong to you.'

#20 Otataral Toblakai

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Posted 10 March 2012 - 08:20 PM

Tiste Simeon, on 09 March 2012 - 09:42 AM, said:

Hey OT, I wouldn't look out the window right now...

Posted Image

It's worse than that, brother dark, worse than that. Picture the above specimen and the below's specimen's grotesquely mutated offspring, dead.

Posted Image