Malazan Empire: Apologies to Harry (and the Rubberbandits) - Malazan Empire

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Apologies to Harry (and the Rubberbandits) Warning - slight dead beat spoilers

#1 User is offline   alt146 

  • Here comes the Strongbad!
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Posted 18 August 2011 - 04:16 PM

Context: http://www.youtube.c...h?v=ljPFZrRD3J8 (Warning NSFW language)

I'm at the old Field Museum
Just off South Lake Shore Street;
I'm looking at the bad guys
and they're looking back at me.
And when the fighting starts,
boy, there'll be a massive tiff
Loose will break all hell, if it goes well
I might manage to live

They yell: "Grevane has the Word of Kemmler,
for sure he's gonna win!
He's got a zombie army,
ain't no arguin' with him!
Badass blokes with magic,
there's necromancers too!
So what the fuck would make you think
you can tangle with this crew?"

I said fuck your Word of Kemmler,
I've a 'Rex outside!
Fuck your zombie goons,
I've a 'Rex outside !
And fuck your necromancers,
I've a 'Rex outside!
If you're looking for a fight,
I've a 'Rex outside!

They shout "We don't believe ya."
I say "It's Fucking True!
She has an exhibition here,
and her name is Sue.
She has loads of endurance
Deadlier than axe or mace
and if you try to stop my 'Rex
she'll eat your fucking face."

She don't waste her time,
ate that fucktard Li!
You'll have undead style
if you ride with me.
Now the dead are shambling over
I'm thinking "Zombies? Please!"
I look the fuckers up and down
and give them one of these!

I said fuck your Word of Kemmler,
I've a 'Rex outside!
Fuck your zombie goons,
I've a 'Rex outside !
And fuck your necromancers,
I've a 'Rex outside!
If you're looking for a fight,
I've a 'Rex outside!

Giddy up now baby
Bless my soul!
I rode my Susie down the road,
Heeded the Wardens' call!
When she ran the buildings shuddered
When she jumped the concrete broke
Like a magic tank-gorilla
Hopped on PCP and coke!

And the dead are lookin' nervous
as I live another day.
Before I turn the corner
I look at them and say:
"Have you had your fill?"
and they say: "Please! No more!
It was a fate worse than Undeath
meeting your Tyrannosaur!"

I said fuck your Word of Kemmler,
I've a 'Rex outside!
Fuck your zombie goons,
I've a 'Rex outside !
And fuck your necromancers,
I've a 'Rex outside!
If you're looking for a fight,
I've a 'Reeee-eeex outside!


Unfortunately I can't take credit for this, it's all the work of my genious girlfriend.
[url="http://www.alt146.zzl.org"]MafiaManager[/url]: My Mafia Modding tool - Now at v0.3b

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#2 User is offline   Abyss 

  • abyssus abyssum invocat
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Posted 23 August 2011 - 05:07 AM

You are clearly unworthy of your girlfriend.
Provide her with shiny things and chocolate immediately.
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
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#3 User is offline   Chaeone 

  • Irish Expat
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  • Location:Sherwood Park, Alberta

Posted 25 August 2011 - 07:33 PM

My friend, i hope you rewarded your girlfriend with something amazing, as that is pure genius. Absolutely brilliant and had me vividly imagining it all over again. Simply Superb.
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#4 User is offline   QuickTidal 

  • General Kenobi
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Posted 25 August 2011 - 07:52 PM

Oh my god.
This made me do two things....discover The RUBBERBANDITS (awesome!)

and pee my pants with the Dresden version. BRILLIANCE!
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora
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#5 User is offline   JPK 

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Posted 27 August 2011 - 09:05 AM

I didn't spot the spoiler warning and accidently read this while I was halfway through Dead Beat... I have no regrets. I think having this stuck in my head all the way through the ending was worth the spoil.
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#6 User is offline   End of Disc One 

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Posted 30 August 2011 - 02:48 AM

All I want to know is who's that in the blue dress?
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#7 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 30 August 2011 - 04:06 PM

 End of Disc One, on 30 August 2011 - 02:48 AM, said:

All I want to know is who's that in the blue dress?


A fairly famous Irish model named Madeline Mulqueen.
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora
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#8 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 30 August 2011 - 04:36 PM

Mac told us about the Rubberbandits and that song at the BBQ this year, and said it was the Irish number one for forever. I don't need to independently verify that because I KNOW he's right.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isnít me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like heís me. Look down, back up, where are you? Youíre in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. Whatís in your hand, back at me. I have it, itís an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. Iím on a quorl.
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