Malazan Empire: Crippled Bel Air - Malazan Empire

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Crippled Bel Air Mappo's Travelling Sack got fresh Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is online   Aptorian 

  • How you doin?
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Posted 02 February 2010 - 07:58 PM

MTS posted this in the "I'm confused about the Crippled God" thread:


Go there and give him some rep.


Let me see if I can break it down for you.

'Now, this is the story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became crippled in a place called Wu.

In an alien realm I was born and raised
Gettin' worshiped was how I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
And getting statues carved by the pool
Then a couple of guys
They were up to no good
Startin doin' rituals in my neighborhood
I took one little peek and my ass got snatched
They said 'You're killin' this guy Kallor and that's a fact.'

I begged and pleaded with 'em day after day
But they ignored me and sent me on my way
They kicked me in the nuts and opened the portal.
I looked through and said, 'God I wish I was mortal'.

Plummetin' through the air, yo this is shit
Flames be rippin' up my dick!
Is this what the people of Wu do to gods?
Bitches needa learn not fuck with ma duds.

But wait, I see the flames, ash, bones, all that
Is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the Crippled God of Wu.

Well uh, I landed and I landed hard
And there was a guy on a throne flippin' his shit
I don't need none o' that noise
I just got here!
I sprang with the quickness, like lightning disappeared.

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said 'Shadow' and it had a broken mirror
If anything I can say is that this cab was rare
But I thought 'This I can use' - 'Suck it, bitches!'

I rocked up to ma shanty about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo holmes poison ya later'
I looked to my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Crippled God of Wu.'

Ok I couldn't be fucked rhyming half the time, but whatever. Enjoy.


#2 User is offline   Ain't_It_Just_ 

  • What a story, Mark!
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Posted 06 February 2010 - 06:18 AM

The rep-wagon is on its way! :whistle:
Suck it Errant!

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.


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