[D'rek]

It was a dark and stormy night, as Stephanie Meyer and J. K. Rowling sat at a very large table eating dinner and splendidly enjoying each other’s company. As Stephanie began unloading a third broiled octopus into her mouth, there was a wet plopping sound as J.K. retracted her foot from up Stephanie’s skirt.

“J.K.,” purred Stephanie, “I do so much enjoy coming to your house for dinner. I wish I could become a billionaire like you!”

“Oh, it wasn’t very difficult.” retorted J.K. as she reached over for the last steamed koala pancreas. “I just wrote out a dozen of my paedophilic sexual fantasies, tied them together with a common character and some plot-driving ogres and sent it to the publisher. The little kids went crazy for it and the publishers fought to the teeth over the rights to more books. Then I strung it out as long as I could.
“Plot-driving orgies?”
“Ogres, dear.”
“Oh. Right.”
“Writing out my wildest dreams and then seeing them spread across half the world… golly, there’s just nothing quite as pleasurable as getting rich by subliminally filling the heads of millions of little boys and girls with your own lavish fantasies.”

“Nothing as pleasurable? Not even… me?” choked Stephanie as her lazy-boy chair creaked ominously. J.K. thought she was choking on indignity while Stephanie was, in fact, choking on two octopus tentacles stuck in her esophagus.

“Oh my darling,” said J.K. with sad puppy-eyes while she reinserted her foot in the most unspeakable of places. “I’m ever so sorry, but if you could experience the same thing you’d understand just how I feel. Too bad you’re not a children’s author and rich like me.”

Sexual asphyxiation being one of her favourite fantasies, Stephanie climaxed on J.K.’s foot while continuing to choke on the tentacles tickling her lungs. Alas, her gyrations were too much to bear, even for the heavy-duty lazy-boy beneath her, and the chair’s steel struts shattered. Stephanie fell a distance of 58.9 centimetres, and J.K. was pulled foot first all the way.

* * *

14 weeks later, Stephanie awoke from her medically induced coma. No one waited at her bedside, there were no flowers upon her nightstand. She was not important to anyone, not a filthy rich children’s author. Well then it’s time for a change, she thought. She summoned the nurse, and her first words in nearly a hundred days were an order for 6 fried chickens. Her second words were for a pen and writing paper.

Thus begins, the Twilight Saga!

[Path-Shaper]

Game Specific Rules and Mechanics:



Phases:

There are 3 phases.

Each Book (aka day) is 32 hours long. Players can vote as per usual and it ends when the timer runs out or a lynch occurs. At the end of each Book, you'll be offered a scene featuring the author as she writes her way through the series. A short blurb or scene may also be given for the lynched player (if any).

The Epilogues (aka night) are 8 hours long and when most of the action happens (becuase the author realizes the book is boring and needs to hook you for the next one). They begin immediately after each Book and end when the timer runs out or all possible actions are submitted and/or blocked. Some short scenes/blurbs may be given for players who die.

The Prologues are the time between the Epilogue and the next Book, consisting of the amount of time for the mods' to send out all relevant PMs before they begin the next Book. Ideally these will be instantaneous but bear with us if we're swamped with actions.


Factions:

There are 5 factions, each unique from one another.

The town of Forks (Town)
The Cullen family of vampires (a merc-like faction)
The Queleti werewolves (a merc-like action)
The Evil Vampires (Scum)
The Coven (Scum)


Bella, the books' protaganist, is initially factionless and can be recruited into either the Cullens, Queleti or Town. Whichever faction gets her will gain a big advantage.


Victory Conditions:

Town - Eliminate the Cullens, Queleti and all Killers.

Cullens - Eliminate the Evil Vampires, the Coven and all original members of the Queleti

Queleti - Eliminate the Town, and all original members of the Cullens

Evil Vampires - Kill the Cullens, Werewolves, Coven and Bella Swan

Coven - Kill Edward Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Jacob Black, Billy Black, Charlie Swan, Bella Swan and Renesmee Swan.


To win, you must be the ONLY faction to achieve your victory conditions and you must still have at least one player alive. If two factions achieve their victory conditions simultaneously, then the game does not end and they can try to eliminate each other (and other factions can try and get their conditions done before either of the winning teams dies so to make it a 3-way tie and so on and so forth...)

Wounding:

During the course you may become Wounded. A Wounded player cannot perform most actions until the next end of an Epilogue. During the Book following that Epilogue, they may choose to seek Treatment from a doctor. If they do (and if a doctor is available), they are immediately cured of their Woundedness, but the doctor will also learn their character name and species. If they do not seek Treatment, they will remain Wounded and unable to perform most actions until after the following end of an Epilogue.

To seek Treatment, send a PM to the mods (and please indicate you're seeking treatment in the subject line so we can get to it ASAP).


Going to the Bar:

On any Epilogue/Night that you perform no actions, your player will go to the one and only local drinking establishment for the duration of the night. While there you might hook up with someone and form a lover-relationship. Certain other abilities also depend on players being at the bar.

Faction leaders, roles under the age of 15 and select other roles never go to the bar. Players do not go to the bar when Wounded, either.


Action Resolution Order:

All non-passive night abilities have an action-timing, noted by a number 1-10. At the end of night, actions resolve in order from 1-10, with actions of the same number resolving simultaneously. Here's a short list of a few actions just to fuel your speculation:

1.
2. Guard (all kinds)
3. Heal (standard type)
4. Spirit Quest
5. Switch, Vig(standard type)
6.
7. Find (standard type)
8. Drunken Vig
9. Kill
10.


Dead Finds:

When a player dies, their player user-name and alt will always be revealed. The remaining three bits of information - character name, species, faction - are revealed dependent on the availability of certain professions within the town. Additionally, some players have unique DFs and will always have certain information revealed (or not revealed), regardless of the professions.


Mod Alts:

Hugin & Munin will be used to keep track of off-thread conversations, so please add them to all your partner-PMs. Path-Shaper will be used for the rest.


Using the mods' names in vain:

In this game, you can reveal whatever you want. You can also lie about whatever you want. However, under no circumstances can you refer to something that a mod has said to you, whether it is true or you are making it up. The only information from the mods you can reference is what is announced on thread. You may not imply this in any way either, such as "I'm waiting for confirmation" or anything like that. It is your job to find out the information you need to know from the mods before you have to use it and the mods will not care if you misunderstood your role because you didn't ask about an issue early on.

If for some reason a mod decides you should be allowed to reference them, they will tell you very directly in unmistakable terms what you can say. More likely, however, they will simply announce it on-thread.

Mod-referral is punishable by mod-kill without access to SH, whether the mod-referral was truthful or made up.

This post has been edited by Path-Shaper: 27 October 2009 - 04:12 PM

[Path-Shaper]

Standard ME Mafia Rules:


1 - General Structure
Players may begin posting as soon as the mods announce that the game has started on the thread. The game begins during the day. The day ends when when a sufficient number of people have voted to lynch a player (remove that player from the game) or voted to end the day without a lynch. Many games also have time limits on the days, and if no consensus is reached when the time expires, the day ends with no lynch (36 hours is the time limit for the present game). When the day phase has ended, night begins. The mods will then post a scene reporting the outcome of the day. Players may continue posting in the thread (unless they've been voted out) but no voting is allowed. Night ends when the mods post the morning scene reporting the outcome of the night actions. Day and night phases continue to alternate until the game ends.

2 - Day Phase
During the day, players may post in the thread and vote. Some roles may have special powers which can be used during the day.

2.1 - Voting Mechanics
To vote for a player: bold that player's name.
To vote to end the day without a lynch: bold the word night.
To change your vote: bold the other player's name (or bold night).
To remove your vote without casting a new vote: bold the phrase remove vote.

2.2 - Voting Restrictions
You may only vote during the day phase. You can only have one vote outstanding at any time. You may not edit a vote into a post. You may not edit a vote out of a post.

2.3 - Bold Restrictions
The use of bold should be limited to voting. If you want to emphasize a players name or another word, you can underline the word or post using a different color

2.4 - Majority Defined
A majority means either more than half of the active players voting for one player's lynch or half or more of the active players voting to go to night without a lynch.

2.5 - Ending the Day
The day ends as soon as a majority is reached (or, if the game has a day time limit and the players fail to achieve a majority, once the time limit has elapsed). Anyone lynched is no longer an active player and must not post in the thread. Votes can no longer be withdrawn and new votes cannot be cast until the night phase ends.

2.6 - Evening Scene
The mods will post a scene shortly after the day ends to report the results of the day actions. If the day ended with a player's lynch, the mods might also reveal information about the lynched player, such as the player's alt or alignment. This is the mods' choice, and they'll explain what, if any, information will be revealed in the game rules. There are no hidden clues in the evening scenes.

3 - Night Phase
During the night, players may post in the thread but may not vote. Some players will have the ability to perform special actions. Once again, the mods decide which roles will be included for their game, so be sure to fully read the game rules and any role descriptions which may be included.

3.1 - Performing a Night Action
If your role includes the ability to perform a special action at night, you need to PM the mods to indicate the action you wish to take. Most, if not all, roles have the ability to "withhold" their powers (i.e. take no action). This will be made clear to the roled players, and, usually, to all other players as well. If you chose to not perform your allowed action, you must PM "no action" to the mods. Most games have a time limit on nights (12 hours is the time limit for the present game). All players must PM their night actions to the mods within this timeframe. Players are strongly encouraged to send their night actions as soon as possible. You may also send in a PM for your special action during the day phase, this is very strongly encouraged.

3.2 - Contingent PM
If you send in a PM during the day phase, you may choose to list alternative actions contingent on the manner in which the day ended. If none of the contingencies you list actually occur, your PM will be disregarded, and you must send a new PM to the mods (example: if Meanas is lynched I kill Kaschan, otherwise I kill Hood's Path).

3.3 - Provisional PM
You may choose to send a provisional PM if you want to further consider your night action but do not want to extend the night if all other roled players have decided upon their actions. Provisional PMs must be clearly marked as such. A provisional PM will not be acted upon by the mods until it becomes a 'definite PM.' A provisional PM becomes definite as soon as ( a ) you confirm your choice with another PM, ( b ) all other roled players that need to send night actions have done so, or ( c ) the time limit for the night has expired.

As a courtesy to other players we ask that you confirm your provisional PM as soon as you are able.

3.4 - Last Resort PM
In extraordinary circumstances you may be allowed to send in a last resort PM. A last resort PM will not be acted upon by the mods until ( a ) you confirm your choice with another PM or ( b ) the time limit for the night has expired. Should you need to send a last resort PM, you must first seek the mods approval by explaining the circumstances that necessitate such a PM. Last resort PMs are accepted only at the discretion of the mods.

3.5 - Failure to PM
If not all PMs are received within the time limit, everyone who has failed to send in a PM will be considered to have taken no action. In addition, those who failed to send in a PM will be warned by the mods or may risk further penalties.

3.6 - Changing a Night Action
PMs to the mod can be changed at any point before the new day is announced. A PM is considered to be changed only after the mod receives and has read the PM. The player bears the risk that the mod will post the morning scene after the player has sent in a new PM but before the mod has actually read it.

3.7 - Abusing the Time Limit
If the mods have included a night time limit, it begins as soon as the previous day ended, regardless of when the mods posted the evening scene. However, this time limit is a maximum limit, and all players should send in PMs as soon as they feel comfortable doing so. Players (and mods) prefer shorter nights, as people are anxious to see who may have died and to begin voting again. If the mods feel that a player is abusing the time limit by unreasonably stalling, they may force the player to take no night action or take other appropriate action.

3.8 Preventing Night Actions
Except where expressly noted, no night actions prevent any other night actions sent in from taking effect.

3.9 - Morning Scene
The night phase ends when the mods post the morning scene. The mods will post the scene shortly after all night action PMs have been received. The scene will report any player deaths that occurred during the night, and might also reveal information about the lynched player, such as the player's alt or alignment. There are no hidden clues in the morning scenes. As soon as the scene is posted any players who have been killed at night will no longer be active players and can no longer post in the thread. The time limit for the new day will begin with the morning scene.

Section 4 - Endgame
The game will continue to alternate between day and night phases until the game ends. The game can end after either a day or night phase.

4.1 - Winning Conditions
The game ends once one faction has reached its winning conditions, which the mods have stated

Mafia is a team game. Once one faction achieves its winning conditions, all members of that faction have won whether or not they are active players when the winning conditions are achieved.

4.2 - Ending Scene
The mods will post an ending scene and declare the game over shortly after one faction achieves its winning conditions. If for any reason it becomes impossible for either faction to achieve its winning conditions, the mods will declare the game a draw.

The game is only over when a mod posts the ending scene. Even if you know (or believe you know) the result of the game before then, you may not post in the thread unless you are an active player.

4.3 - Calling the Game Early
The mods reserve the right to end the game at any time before a faction achieves its winning conditions provided there are compelling reasons to do so. In general, the mods will end the game early as soon as one faction's victory becomes inevitable.

4.4 - Spoilers
When the game is over, the mods will reveal the alts and roles of everybody who played and also give everyone access to the spoiled spectator threads on the discussion board.

RULES

All players must:

A1) Have an account on malazanempire.com/forums

A2) Log in and view the thread and the discussion board anonymously at all times, unless they have informed the mods that this is not possible for technical reasons

A3) Post at least once every 36 hours. Any player who has not posted within the last 36 hours will be automatically modkilled, whether or not the mods announce this on the thread. Warnings will be issued after 24 hours and subsequently closer to the deadline.

The mods may grant extensions to this limit in some cases (if so, they will give details in a later post). However, if they have not posted on the thread to announce an extension before the 24 hour limit is reached, no extension will be granted, whatever may have been said elsewhere. Please contact the mods as early as possible if you wish to request an extension.

A4) Send in role prescribed night actions (including the desire to take no action) within the time limit

A5) Treat everybody else playing with courtesy and respect.

A6) Make any edits the mods request of them as soon as possible, whether or not they believe that the posts need to be edited.

A7) Contact the game mods as soon as possible if they feel you are at risk of breaking a rule or fear they or another person may have already done so.

A8) You must not edit previous posts unless to change spelling or grammar.

Players must not:

B1) Act in any way intended to reduce the chance of their faction achieving its win conditions. (However, should all surviving members of a faction agree that they wish to resign and end the game early, they may do so by PMing the mods privately, without stating their intentions on-thread until the mods post to announce that the game is over.)

B2) Discuss the game with any other living players outside this game thread except when told they may do so in their role PMs.

B3) Reveal any information about the game at all in any other thread than this one, or in any other forum (including message boards and chat rooms) where it may be seen by a living player.

B4) Give anybody access to any of their accounts (including game alts, if the game is using them), either here or on the mafia discussion board.

B5) Attempt to obtain advice about the game from anybody not currently playing.

B6) Post information on the thread relating to another player's past or current activity on (or absence from) the board that would not otherwise be available to anybody reading the thread. Refrain from using meta arguments in thread, or from refering to your reasons as being based on meta.

B7) Quote, in whole or part, PMs from (or other private conversations with) the mods on the thread, or discuss the timing of any PMs sent to the mods.
B8) Post on the thread at any time after they are dead until the mods themselves post on the thread to announce that the game is over. Any posts accidently made after death should be immediately edited blank.

B9) Make any bets about the game.

B10) Offer to break any of these rules or any other rules the mods have set in place for the game, encourage others to do so or help to conceal the fact that rules have been broken.


AND JUST SO YOU KNOW

C1) Failure to comply with the rules may result in any punishment the mods deem appropriate, including, but not limited to: a request to edit posts; formal warnings on thread; "modkilling", lashing, spanking, paddling, the rack, thumbscrews, waterboarding, time-out, death and/or ending the game prematurely in favor of one faction or none. Except where clearly stated in the rules, the mods are free to respond to any rules violation in whatever manner they wish. In all cases the mods' decision on these matters is final. Tapper heads this game and he's more than willing to use the modkill option or lock you out of your game alt for the duration of the game.

C2) Feel free to PM your thoughts (or questions) to the mods. We love to hear them!

C3) The mods reserve the right to amend the rules during the game if we realize we've forgotten to cover something.

-------------------------

As well as running the game on this thread, the mods are also responsible for administering the spoiler thread and anybody not actively involved in the game (whether spectators or dead players who no longer wish to play) can request access to this thread by PMing the mods. Only dead players will have access to the Beyond. Please note that while in general the mods will be happy to let anybody have access to this thread, they do reserve the right to refuse access to anybody for any reason. Accordingly, please do not ask anybody other than the mods for access to the spoiler thread or give yourself access to it, even if you have the power to do so. Any posts found to contravene these rules will be deleted and the responsible players will be added to a blacklist for any future games run my this mod.

Once given access to the thread, spoiled spectators should also take note of the following rules, and must not:

D1) Share any information from the spoiler thread with living players, or post such in a forum where it may be seen by living players.

D2) Offer any advice, hints or strategy to living players.

D3) Make personal attacks on players in the game or on posters in the spoiler thread itself

D4) Post on the game thread before the mods announce that the game is over.

D5) PM living or dead players with comments on the game.

[Path-Shaper]

Stephanie spent nearly seven minutes twiddling her pen and staring blankly at her pad of paper before angrily hurling it a few feet across the hospital room in futility.
"I QUIT!" she pronounced. "I guess I'm no J.K. Rowling after all…"

The curtains on her left were suddenly thrust aside to reveal a man in the next bed gazing at her questioningly.
"Trying to turn your sexual fantasies into an international best-selling children's novel, huh? Maybe I can help."
"Who are you?"
"Christopher Paolini, author of Eragon." Stephanie continued to stare at him blankly so he continued on: "I'm guessing right about now you've got all your sex scenes figured out but have no idea how to turn them into a kids' book, right?"
"Right. I know I have to think up characters and use metaphors for the positions and toys, but I just can't think of any people or places to write about."

"Well there's an old mantra that a high school drop-out once told me and I've really taken it to heart: if you can't write a good essay, steal someone else's. I think it works pretty well with novels, too.
"Imagine this: An orphaned teenager is living with his distant relatives on a farm in the desert. He goes out into the desert and meets an old mystic. His family gets killed while he's gone, so he goes with the mystic after the villainous government responsible. The old mystic dude trains the kid in using a mysterious magic power and then gets killed by the evil mystic who uses the same. The teen retreats and joins a just and wonderful rebellion trying to overthrow the evil tyranny and the kid flies into battle on his dragon in a big battle at the end. Sound like anything?"
Stephanie thought for about 15 minutes before coming up with the answer: "It's kinda like that Star Wars movie, except for the dragon."
"Exactly." said Paolini.

"Oh!" Realization came to Stephanie like a backhanded slap to the brain. "I get it! So what do you think I should copy?"
"Well there's that Buffy show that did really well, where the girl falls in love with the vampire who doesn't eat people despite mentioning his temptations quite a lot. The whole blood-drinking could be a big metaphor for sex! You could really take the vampire theme and run with it, rip off tons of other series with them. You like the idea?"
"Yeah, it's great!"
"Well I'm glad you're happy and now have something to distract yourself from the weird noises I'll be making. I'm gonna go ahead and close this curtain now, it's time for some 'me time' while I talk to myself about dragonsex."



***


It is now Book 1: Twilight. 32 hours remaining.

20 players alive: Alkend, Ampelas, Barghast, D'riss, Emurlahn, Eloth, Galain, Hood's Path, Kaschan, Kessobahn, Korvalain, Meanas, Mockra, Olar Ethil, Omtose, Ruse, Serc, Silanah, Telas, Tellan

11 votes to lynch. 10 to go to Epilogue.

No one has voted.

This post has been edited by Path-Shaper: 21 October 2009 - 07:28 PM

[Tellan]

FIRST!

[Emurlahn]

Damnit

[Tellan]

zomg, is Eragon really such a blatant Star Wars ripoff?

horrible

[Path-Shaper]

And now that I've started you guys off, I'm going to go write my midterm! Have fun!



It is Book 1: Twilight. 31 hours, 54 minutes remaining.

20 players alive: Alkend, Ampelas, Barghast, D'riss, Emurlahn, Eloth,Galain, Hood's Path, Kaschan, Kessobahn, Korvalain, Meanas, Mockra,Olar Ethil, Omtose, Ruse, Serc, Silanah, Telas, Tellan

11 votes to lynch. 10 to go to Epilogue.

No one has voted.

[Barghast]

more a combination of:
Cliche
star wars
LOTR
Fanatical atherist
with some scandenavian thrown in for good messure

[Telas]

Hey we started!

[Emurlahn]

where was lotr mentioned?

[Tellan]

 Emurlahn, on 21 October 2009 - 07:27 PM, said:

Damnit

MUAHAHAHAHA

[Barghast]

well
as in the mix eragon is mix up from...

[Emurlahn]

I should have posted and then read the PS posts

[Tellan]

 Barghast, on 21 October 2009 - 07:33 PM, said:

more a combination of:
Cliche
star wars
LOTR
Fanatical atherist
with some scandenavian thrown in for good messure

sounds horrible
I thank God daily for finding this forum which keeps me away form horrid literature like that....


oh and best of luck on your midterm, D'rek!

[Barghast]

eragon is only horible the way macdonals is horible


its the fastfood of books

[Emurlahn]

 Barghast, on 21 October 2009 - 07:33 PM, said:

more a combination of:
Cliche
star wars
LOTR
Fanatical atherist
with some scandenavian thrown in for good messure

Not sure if I'll be having sex dreams or nightmares.

[Barghast]

well you better not be turnd on by that... i mean THEY GOT A BASTARD CHILD!!!

[Emurlahn]

Well I'm imagining a thresome of Liea, Arwen and Korlat with that list of what this is about.

So it is ranking on the quality of Goodkind work.

And a bastard child so what, there is possibly quite a few ancestors of ours who were born out of wedlock lol.

[Barghast]

well ereagon is abit to clichey to have treesomes...