Help
I don't know if anybody else has this problem, but this morning I woke up hungover, and my cat was doing figure eights through my feet constantly as I was walking from the bedroom to the kitchen. I even stepped on his tail a couple of times, but he stayed there anyway. Needless to say, I nearly fell on my head and died. Is this a common thing for cats, or is mine unique? Just thought it might be a nice topic to ponder....
Late,
Pilgrim
Why is my cat trying to kill me? Deadly cats
#2
stone monkey 
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Posted 08 August 2009 - 07:26 PM
Your cat is trying to kill you because that's what cats do, kill things. He's just finding you more of a challenge than the birds and small mammals he's used to murdering. Honestly, all cats are are little, lovable furry psychopaths with tails...
This post has been edited by stone monkey: 08 August 2009 - 07:27 PM
If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry, that is a sign that you are subconsciously aware of having no good reason for thinking as you do. If some one maintains that two and two are five, or that Iceland is on the equator, you feel pity rather than anger, unless you know so little of arithmetic or geography that his opinion shakes your own contrary conviction. … So whenever you find yourself getting angry about a difference of opinion, be on your guard; you will probably find, on examination, that your belief is going beyond what the evidence warrants. Bertrand Russell
#3
RodeoRanch
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Posted 08 August 2009 - 07:31 PM
Because cats are evil sumbitches.
#4
Gem Windcaster
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Posted 08 August 2009 - 07:32 PM
Good chance is, it's out on a mission for Abyss and wants to deliver your brain to him. Nom nom nom.
_ In the dark I play the night, like a tune vividly fright_
So light it blows, at lark it goes _
invisible indifferent sight_
So light it blows, at lark it goes _
invisible indifferent sight_
#6
Slow Ben
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Posted 08 August 2009 - 07:43 PM
Cats are pure evil incarnate.
Something happens to them when they go from being kittens to cats. I'm not sure what it is though and i doubt Abyss will spill the secret.
Something happens to them when they go from being kittens to cats. I'm not sure what it is though and i doubt Abyss will spill the secret.
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
#8
Mentalist
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Posted 09 August 2009 - 12:41 AM
the real question is, why did it take your cat this long?
clearly, it no longer considers you a valuable asset. It's up to yu to figure out why and correct your failing
clearly, it no longer considers you a valuable asset. It's up to yu to figure out why and correct your failing
The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard
THE CONTESTtm WINNER--чемпіон самоконтролю
THE CONTESTtm WINNER--чемпіон самоконтролю
Jump Around, on 23 October 2011 - 11:04 AM, said:
And I want to state that Ment has out-weaseled me by far in this game.
#9
Adjutant Stormy~
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Posted 09 August 2009 - 01:22 AM
Has it figured out how to operate the can-opener?
Or has is, by way of the horrible mutagens laying about in your pad, developed opposable thumbs, rendering you obsolete?
Or has is, by way of the horrible mutagens laying about in your pad, developed opposable thumbs, rendering you obsolete?
<!--quoteo(post=462161:date=Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM:name=Aptorian)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Aptorian @ Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=462161"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->God damn. Mighty drunk. Must ... what is the english movement movement movement for drunk... with out you seemimg drunk?
bla bla bla
Peopleare harrasing me... grrrrrh.
Also people with big noses aren't jews, they're just french
EDIT: We has editted so mucj that5 we're not quite sure... also, leave britney alone.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
bla bla bla
Peopleare harrasing me... grrrrrh.
Also people with big noses aren't jews, they're just french
EDIT: We has editted so mucj that5 we're not quite sure... also, leave britney alone.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
#10
Ain't_It_Just_
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Posted 09 August 2009 - 01:38 AM
Be warned....it may have swayed the other sundry animal denizens of your home and neighbourhood to its cause...A cat-monkey combination, for example, can be formidable.
Lock your door at night, Pilgrim-and keep a few shells in your gun.
Lock your door at night, Pilgrim-and keep a few shells in your gun.
Suck it Errant!
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."
QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.
#11
lobo the wolfman
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Posted 09 August 2009 - 01:50 AM
Be careful Pilgrim, if he doesn't succeed in killing he could get you sent to jail.
Quote
Man blames cat for child porn downloads
August 8, 2009, 6:39 am
Investigators in Florida say a man accused of downloading child pornography is blaming his cat.
Keith Griffin is charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after detectives found more than 1,000 images on his home computer.
According to a sheriff's report on Friday, Griffin told investigators that his cat jumped on the computer keyboard while he was downloading music.
He said he had left the room and found "strange things" on his computer when he returned.
Griffin is being held on $US250,000 ($A297,830) bond in the Martin County jail. It is unclear if he has an lawyer.
August 8, 2009, 6:39 am
Investigators in Florida say a man accused of downloading child pornography is blaming his cat.
Keith Griffin is charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after detectives found more than 1,000 images on his home computer.
According to a sheriff's report on Friday, Griffin told investigators that his cat jumped on the computer keyboard while he was downloading music.
He said he had left the room and found "strange things" on his computer when he returned.
Griffin is being held on $US250,000 ($A297,830) bond in the Martin County jail. It is unclear if he has an lawyer.
In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.
#12
Terez
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Posted 09 August 2009 - 02:24 AM
You should have named it Skeeter...
The President (2012) said:
Please proceed, Governor.
Chris Christie (2016) said:
There it is.
Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:
And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.
#13
Centzon Totochtin
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Posted 10 August 2009 - 04:18 AM
my cat used to jump on my head around 4am... it weighed 8kg, that was an interesting way to wake up!
That Elephant is looking rather frayed at the edges
#14
Leo
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Posted 10 August 2009 - 06:38 AM
It's very normal. My dad almost crushed the head of one of my cats while carrying hay into the barn. He was... jumpy after that.
You'd think your cat would learn after being stepped on a couple times.
You'd think your cat would learn after being stepped on a couple times.
#15
Abyss
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Posted 10 August 2009 - 02:50 PM
Actually, your cat is doing you a favour. you see, cats are naturally superior to humns, but they appreciate that there is some merit in trying to advance the slave-species. hence, your cat is simply trying to improve your natural agility and survival instincts. Clearly you should reward your cat with treats, 'human' food, and additional petting/worship/treats.
- Abyss, notes that in the alternative, it's trying to kill you, because cats are Darwinists...
- Abyss, notes that in the alternative, it's trying to kill you, because cats are Darwinists...
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
#16
Ain't_It_Just_
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Posted 11 August 2009 - 06:57 AM
Abyss, on Aug 11 2009, 12:50 AM, said:
you see, cats are naturally superior to humns,
-AIJ, ursine pedantrist
Suck it Errant!
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."
QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.
#17
Abyss
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Posted 11 August 2009 - 12:57 PM
Spelling is for lesser beiges.
- Abyss, high evolushuneery.
- Abyss, high evolushuneery.
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
#19
Shinrei
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Posted 11 August 2009 - 01:36 PM
Centzon Totochtin, on Aug 10 2009, 05:18 AM, said:
my cat used to jump on my head around 4am... it weighed 8kg, that was an interesting way to wake up!
What'd you do!
This post has been edited by Shinrei: 11 August 2009 - 01:36 PM
You’ve never heard of the Silanda? … It’s the ship that made the Warren of Telas run in less than 12 parsecs.
#20
Catherine
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Posted 11 August 2009 - 03:51 PM
My cat jumps on my bladder in the wee hours of the morning, she doesn't want to kill me, just make me wet the bed - how is that for gratitude for all the cat worship!!!!
