[Aptorian]

This is an amazing letter:

http://historymatters.gmu.edu/d/6369/

Quote

“There Was Never Any Pay-day For the Negroes”: Jourdon Anderson Demands Wages
As slavery collapsed at the close of the Civil War, former slaves quickly explored freedom’s possibilities by establishing churches that were independent of white control, seeking education in Freedmen’s Bureau schools, and even building and maintaining their own schools. Many took to the roads as they sought opportunities to work and to reconstitute their families. Securing their liberty meant finding the means of support to obtain land or otherwise benefit from their own labor, as Jourdon Anderson made clear in this letter to his former owner. He addressed Major Anderson from Ohio, where he had secured good wages for himself and schooling for his children. Many freedpeople argued that they were entitled to land in return for their years of unpaid labor and looked to the federal government to help achieve economic self-sufficiency. Black southerners understood the value of their own labor and looked for economic independence and a free labor market in their battle over the meaning of emancipation in post-Civil War America.

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Dayton, Ohio, August 7, 1865

To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir: I got your letter and was glad to find you had not forgotten Jourdon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Col. Martin’s to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here; I get $25 a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy, —the folks here call her Mrs. Anderson),—and the children—Milly, Jane and Grundy—go to school and are learning well; the teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday- School, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated; sometimes we overhear others saying, “Them colored people were slaves” down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks, but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Col. Anderson. Many darkies would have been proud, as I used to be, to call you master. Now, if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost- Marshal- General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you are sincerely disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years and Mandy twenty years. At twenty-five dollars a month for me, and two dollars a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to eleven thousand six hundred and eighty dollars. Add to this the interest for the time our wages has been kept back and deduct what you paid for our clothing and three doctor’s visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams Express, in care of V. Winters, Esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night, but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the Negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.



In answering this letter please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve, and die if it comes to that, than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood, the great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

P.S. —Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

From your old servant,

Jourdon Anderson Source: Reprinted in Lydia Maria Child, The Freedmen’s Book (Boston: Tickenor and Fields, 1865), 265–67.

[Tiste Simeon]

"Yeah, I'm going to vote the Eyjafjallajökull party in the upcoming election as they have done more to control immigration in the past five days then Labour have done in the past thirteen years!"

[Tiste Simeon]

From Sickipedia:

Quote

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.

Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.

And that, your honour, is why I was at the border shooting at illegal immigrants - to deter the rest.

[Aptorian]

http://www.reddit.com/tb/bx9aq

Quote

Ok there are lots of comments on here that range from sand in vagina to slackjawed-never-been-in-a-fight douchiness. Cutting your losses or introducing him to the lord may be the civilized things to do, but you forget that you are at heart a ragefilled barbarian motherfucker whose ancestors were able to survive just long enough to ejaculate your existance into being. You need to harness the generations of badassery that is lurking inside your loins. First things first, unless you know you can out box someone don't fight them on your feet. I've seen tough motherfuckers taken down by a lucky left hook. When you meet this guy say these exact words, "You've just fucked with the wrong mother fucking John Wayne swaggering big dick having motherfucker you've ever met!" As you say the final two words stomp his instep and shatter those metatarcels and but good. Next bend your knees and bull-rush the motherfucker. Get your shoulder underneath his hips i.e. his center of gravity and lift with you legs. Depending on your stature he is now 5ft to six feet in the air. Now thrust your hips forward as if you are going balls deep into the juciest pussy you never even dared dream about while loading him onto your shoulder. Whip your shoulders forward while throwing your hips back and this will initate a whiplike force accelerating his melon towards the pavement. TUCK YOUR CHIN motherfucker. His skull will now hit the ground with a satifising crack. Mother fucker is now semi concious and unable to defend. Fist bump god and bring the point of your elbow down on his nose, no fists bro you don't want to miss and break your hand on the pavement. His goose is now cooked, roll the dick over take his wallet and say "Remeber the day you met John fuckingyourmother Wayne"

[Adjutant Stormy~]

I've actually had something close to that pulled on me. He grabbed me too low though, and I managed to get a knee in his face. I've had enough concussions to know how to brace my head with my arms. I got tossed, but my friends jumped on top of him as soon as I hit the ground. Broke a finger on the landing, though.

[Darkwatch]

Quote

With so much violence happening against humans the overfocusing on the seal hunt is reflective of the cognitive dissonance of the modern urbanite. Powerless to reclaim their link to nature, unable to live amongst rural people who they despise, they reach out and judge people with one of the smallest ecological footprints in the world. Sealers kill seals but the violence that everyday urbanites commit through their complicity to consumer culture and ecological alienation is far worse in so far as it is invisible to themselves.

[Aptorian]

In a thread about doing a russian doctor doing a appendectomy on himself:

http://www.reddit.co...ris_pic/c0q1t65

Quote

I had a friend that was an Army Medic explain to me how to do this at a party once. It sounded fairly easy, as surgery goes...

He said that all that was required was a small, sharp knife (like a Swiss Army Knife) and a length of thread or fishing line. He told me that one would need to make about a two inch incision through the abdomen surface, and then slice the muscle underneath with the grain which would expose another layer of muscle, which would need to be sliced...again with the grain, which would expose the swollen appendix. He said it would basically pop out like a little hardon.

At that point, and this was the important part, one would need to tie the string tightly around the base of the appendix where it meets the intestine IN TWO places with a space between them. Then all that was left was to cut the appendix off between the two knots. This would facilitate the removal of the appendix without spilling the infection into the wound. The muscle sinew would more or less close itself up to a degree...a bit of duct tape would be handy for the epidermis, but even with the open incision the chances of surviving would be better than a burst appendix.

I've always had this in the back of my mind, thinking I could pull it off if need be, but then again I tried to pierce my own nipple once, unsuccessfully, and almost passed out.

Then the voice of reason steps in...

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He said it would basically pop out like a little hardon.

Horseshit. You have to dig around for it, even when it's positioned in the most common orientation. A good percentage of the time it's in the retrocecal position, or pelvic, or already covered by a layer of omentum.

Plus you're doing this without cautery, so you're bleeding the whole time. Makes it a little hard to see the grain of the muscle.

Plus you forgot to describe how you're going to identify and ligate the appendiceal artery so that you don't bleed out. Or how you're going to close the fascia afterwards so that your bowels don't spill through the hernia.

An appendectomy is a pretty easy surgery, if you're trained. Which is like saying that a 3 ball Mills Mess is a pretty easy juggling pattern: simple enough, but not something you're gonna just be able to pull off one day if you really need to.

Do combat medics actually do appendectomies, anyway? I always thought they were something akin to paramedics.

[Aptorian]

A spambot posted this in the DG forum today. I don't know why, but the way it inserted the links to its gold farming sites is hilarious:

Quote

Shortly wedding dresses, after my parents moved from Pennsylvania to a remote rural

area of Ohio near the Kentucky border， they began noticing dark areas of grass in the shape of circles. I saw one myself

once when I visited them and teased that it looked as though a UFO had landed there. It would fade away and another would

appear somewhere else some time later. One time a friend visited them and they showed them the odd circles of dark grass.

The friend told them they are fairy rings. My mother went to the library to see what she could find on fairy rings and

learned that folklore tells that if you stand in the center of a fairy ring at midnight during a full moon and make a wish

， it will come wedding dresses true.
Some time wow power level,later， a new fairy ring appeared just a few yards

from her house. (All the others had been out in the pasture.) There would be a full moon in a few days so she decided to

see if the folklore tale was true. During the day she put a bucket in the middle of the ring so she could easily find the

center at midnight. The night of the full moon she went to the bucket at midnight and made a wish. Within just a few short

months her wish came wow Power Leveling true.
My parents ffxi gil,had bought this property (140 acres surrounded on three sides

by state game lands) and built a new home there so it pretty much depleted all of their savings. There was still so much

that they dreamed of having there， but would not be able to do on my father’s pension. My mother’s wish was simply to

have all the things they wanted for the property. One of those things was roads to the remote areas. Another was to have a

garage and a third dream was to have a small lake on the ffxi gil property.
Soon wow power leveling,afterward， a company contacted them that was

interested in some of the lumber on their property. They would pay for what they forested and promised not to rape the land

that my parents loved so much. In order to get to the more remote areas for the trees they wanted to take they had to put

in wow power leveling roads.
One day wedding dresses, my mother was talking to one of the owners of the

company. He was telling my mother what beautiful property she had and what potential it had. He seemed to have developed a

special fondness for my tiny 78 year old mother， and talked to her quite often during the month or so that they were

there. My mother told him about her dream of a lake and he told her they had the equipment to do it and they would do it

for her for no charge. They dug a deep and wide area out behind the first meadow and diverted water from a creek into it.

My brother stocked it with fish and turtles wedding dresses abound.
With the money wow power leveling, they made from the sale of the trees they put up

a three-stall garage. Some people may say that those things would have occurred anyway even if my mother hadn’t gone out

into the yard at midnight during a full moon to make a wish. I guess we will never know. But another occurrence after that

only strengthened my belief in fairies. Maybe sometime I will tell you a story of the fairy wow power leveling designers

pictures.

[Jusentantaka]

Quote

Penelope world of warcraft power leveling, Trunk knows something about risk. A nationally syndicated columnist, Ms. Trunk shocked the business community when she revealed intimate details of her personal life on her blog. At the time, many weren't sure this was the right move, but the blog shot up in popularity and eventually garnered over 30,000 world of warcraft power leveling subscribers.
If not for wedding dresses, that loyal following, Ms. Trunk might not have been able to make a case for her current venture, Brazen Careerist (BrazenCareerist.com), an online professional network for Generation Y. Launching a new company is a perilous endeavor, but Ms. Trunk thought the risk was worth it. 'This world isn't set up for writers to get anywhere,' she says. 'Although I went into massive debt and ended up sacrificing my marriage, it was essential that I take my career into wedding dresses my own hands.'
As a result, she maple story power leveling, is no longer dependent on publications for her livelihood and has achieved one of her lifetime goals -- to serve as a mentor to twenty-something employees. Big Risks, Big Rewards If you think about it, most accomplished people in our culture are entrepreneurs who have taken big risks to net proportionally high rewards. Tough as it is for cautious people like me to accept, if you don't occasionally take calculated gambles, you won't get ahead as quickly as those who do. You will also never get over your fear of the unknown, and life will be predictable and maple story power leveling dull.
How do you world of warcraft gold ,go about deciding if a career risk is necessary and will bear fruit? First, it helps to think long term. Where do you want your career to be in five years, and what actions will you have to take to make sure you get there? Next, clearly define the challenge and the opportunity -- or the upside if the risk goes well. Then, consider the downside. Will the worst-case scenario be career-ending, or something that can be world of warcraft gold overcome?
What's Your world of warcraft power leveling, Backup Plan? Finally, what are some clues to assess if the risk is going bad, and what is your backup plan if your risk isn't successful?In thinking through these questions, you might determine, for example, that quitting your well-paying job and spending your savings to pursue an invention idea isn't a risk you find tolerable. The smartest risks have a limited downside and a huge upside. They involve research and the counsel of experienced people -- but also the willingness to step back and let the cards fall where they world of warcraft power leveling may.
Believe that wedding dresses, you've made the right choice, and have faith that everything will turn out all right in the end. Insecurity and negativity won't serve you well, because you'll be constantly holding your breath, waiting for things to fall apart. Speaking of which, if a risk doesn't work out, don't let it stop you from taking similar actions in the future. It's normal to feel disappointment and even embarrassment. But it's essential that you pick yourself up and move on. Take stock of what went wrong and make a note to do it differently next time. There is no shorter path to career wedding dresses fulfillment.

I liked this one better. Its 10pm And Do You Know What Your World of Warcraft Power Leveling Backup Plan Is?

(for the out of the loop euros/ect, there's a series of public service/charity/something or other ads which go on at ~10pm in the US, in place of a commercial where they go 'Its 10pm, do you know where your children are?')

This post has been edited by Jusentantaka: 28 May 2010 - 05:59 AM

[Aptorian]

Quote

If gingers have no soul...is it due to the lack of pigment? And is that why black people have so much soul?

[Aptorian]

The Hide the Poo Game:

Quote

I played this game as well! It started with French smelly cheeses being hidden, but evolved to bottles of piss and 'hide the poo' pretty quickly. We also once did it with mopane maggots, but that didn't turn out too well as we had to fumigate the building because we lost them.

A margarine poo is classic. But too easily found. And it also takes away the joy of play. The point is remaining undiscovered until years later. Scrape a little frost from the back of your freezer and leave some poo there. Will stink for a day but once frosted, will go unnoticed for years. I still have one in a friends freezer from almost a year ago.

If you prefer to find them or do the game by means of smell, I'll list some with a rating. 1 star means easy one (but fun & creativity points guaranteed), those with 3 stars are pretty hard to find.

• fake ceilings ** (experienced players will look there first, though)
• CRT monitors *** (not a good idea when CRT monitor is frequently used, don't put near vent)
• DVD-box *** (press it, wipe the spatter, and put it back in the DVD collection)
• statues with stuffed animals, or a deers head * (taxodermists leave quite some space unused)
• emptied light bulbs * (a lot of effort, but the look of a fitting with a bulb full of shit makes a fond memory)
• heating units * (can be tricky, best done when the unit isn't frequently used)
• carved out space in a motel bible ** (the thin paper is pretty absorbing, so there is little leakage)
• under the plastic bag thats wrapped over your garbage bin ***
• in the hollow inside of a door ** (often accessible from the top of the door where you can just drop it in)
• in a speakerbox * (best not done in expensive speakers)
• between the wall and the frame of a painting * (hilarity ensues when frame is lifted and gravity does its work)
• in a dark glass wine bottle with the cork pushed back in *** (never to be found again)

Obviously, the amount of poo used for such endeavours should be somewhat adjusted to the specific situation. Portioning it is a good start.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

That is horrible. That is terrifying, because I worry that my friends would start doing that and I am extremely unobservant. My residence would eventually completely fill with poo.

[Whisperzzzzzzz]

Jusentantaka, on 28 May 2010 - 05:57 AM, said:

I liked this one better. Its 10pm And Do You Know What Your World of Warcraft Power Leveling Backup Plan Is?

Lemme guess, New Yorker? "It's 10 PM. Do you know where your children are?" Iconic.


Anyway,

"Let's go grab a beer, Doc."

[Coco with marshmallows]

Life in the Australian Army...

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )




Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody dingo's arse and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Sheila

[Jusentantaka]

Spoiler

Your loving daughter,

Sheila

WWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA

This post has been edited by Jusentantaka: 12 June 2010 - 08:08 PM

[Aptorian]

Psst, Jusen, at least spoiler the punchline

[Jusentantaka]

Its always something



Just face it sometimes nobody envies you. There has to be a bottom and that bottom is probably you.

This post has been edited by Jusentantaka: 12 June 2010 - 08:10 PM

[Aptorian]

in a discussion of Queen Bees laying eggs...

There is offensive sexual imagery in this text.

Quote

Obviously this might seem a bit gross now cause she's 83 or whatever but imagine a super hot young Queen Elizabeth moaning on her throne wearing just a fur cape her belly swollen with thousands of eggs which she pushes out her shaven royal box every few seconds giving herself a miniature orgasm each time which causes her great embarrassment as she is surrounded by her royal guards and family, and she has to breastfeed her children (who are each roughly the size of a watermelon) who fight to the death to suck on her breasts and the queen has to be constantly replenished by nutrients through a hose which has been insterted up her anus into her lower intestine. Ineveitably one of her childrens death strikes misses and stings her clitoris which swells to the size of a throbbing Silmaril-like grapefruit which she cannot help but squeeze in an attempt to cut off circulation which only serves to intensify her orgasms tenfold causing her lower abdomen to shake uncontrollably and expediate the egglaying process causing her to break down in sobs of orgasmic despair.

Imagine watching this gorgeous kindhearted young woman, a product of the highest breeding struggle through the Christmas day address with her voice shaking from the near constant orgasms, having to shout over the demonic engine of the anal pump and trying in vain to maintain a sense of dignity and class as Egg after egg pours out of her gasping pussy which by law cannot be censored.

This post has been edited by Aptorian: 04 July 2010 - 10:13 AM

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Cocoreturns, on 12 June 2010 - 07:20 PM, said:

Life in the Australian Army...

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )




Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody dingo's arse and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Sheila

God, I'm so proud.

[Aptorian]

Got to love Bash:

Quote

<Thomas> if women think they arent meant to cook
<Thomas> why do they have milk and eggs inside them?

Quote

<BrknCodes> We all remember the KFC "Hillary Meal"---two small breasts and two big thighs.
<BrknCodes> Now, KFC has announced an addition to their chicken dinners.....
<BrknCodes> It's called the Obama Cabinet Bucket.
<BrknCodes> It consists of nothing but left wings and assholes.

Quote

lemonlimeskull: So I'm sitting in Hardee's (Carl's JR for anyone here one the west coast)
lemonlimeskull: This huge African American dude sits across from me at the booth. Plenty of tables around, of course, since this is Hardee's.
lemonlimeskull: Since I don't usually have uninvited guests at fast food restaurants, I'm naturally a bit put off while simultaniously wondering what the deal is.
lemonlimeskull: The guy goes "Hey, man what you do for a living?"
lemonlimeskull: I must've looked really confused, but I manage to answer "Game designer... Why?"
lemonlimeskull: The guy sits there for a good thirty seconds, looking out the window over my shoulder.
lemonlimeskull: Then he finally looks me straight on and says "Good, lemme ask you a question..."
lemonlimeskull: "Why don't Pacman wanna eat eyes?"
lemonlimeskull: I just gave him this really quizzical look, then he gets up and leaves.
lemonlimeskull: After a few seconds of wondering wtf that was all about, I look out the window over my shoulder and see about five police cars slowly driving off into the distance.
lemonlimeskull: The worst part is...... WHY doesn't Pacman wanna eat eyes?!

Quote

Milamber: hopefully that will get him outa trouble
Mick: yeah because that was in the top 20 of worst wiring jobs
Mick: nothign will beat number 1
Milamber: no. 1?
Mick: ooh that was amazing
Mick: it was a corolla
Mick: painted blue and red with housepaint outside
Mick: with green wheels
Mick: inside was painted blue with rattlecans including the seats
Mick: there was rubbish and rotten food on the ground as high as the bottom of the seat
Mick: the radio was a tape player that he wanted replaced with a clarion cd tuner
Mick: tape player was held in with winnie blue cig packets, some bandaids and chewing gum
Mick: to get the old one out they had smashed the dash
Mick: it was wired up with bits of house wire and extension cords
Mick: they had hacked a hole in the firewall to run the power for the radio straight off the start motor
Mick: which the wiries were sticky taped onto the starter motor
Mick: the speakers in the back were sitting on the shelf being held in by just the force of their own magnets as it had no parcelshelf
Milamber: woooooow did you just tell him where to stick it?
Mick: I threw up from the smell in the car on the workshop floor
Mick: gene had to help me up
Mick: he called the customer who was told to go home and burn the car
Milamber: ROFL

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lemonlimeskull: One guy keeps following me from chat room to chat room begging to blow me because he found out I live about a half hour away.
lemonlimeskull: Other guy wants to fight me IRL because I posted on a forum that his local band sucks ass.
lemonlimeskull: I'm going to agree to meet the two of them - same location at the same time.
lemonlimeskull: I won't show up, of course - tomorrow one guy will be in the hospital or the other one will be a lot more mellow.
lemonlimeskull: Will keep you posted.

Quote

<@Ricky> According to BBC News, the father of the Nigerian who attempted to blow up the Delta airliner whilst approaching Detroit had emailed US authorities to warn them about his son's extreme anti American views. This man happened to be a very wealthy banker.
<@Ricky> You can imagine the email arriving at the US Government's offices:
<@Ricky> Good afternoon, I am a wealthy Nigerian banker....

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(omfg): whats the most sensitive part of a persons body when they are masturbating ?
(TypoKing): idk
(omfg): their ears
(omfg): listening for ppl coming home