[cerveza_fiesta]

Well I was talking with my sister's boyfriend last night and he was running the plan for my bachelor by me. Sounds like its gonna be a doozie.

Friday June 19 - PM

-Sister's BF rents a van to transport the hardcore crew out to his camp after work.
-Picks up hardcore crew and all the beer we can carry.
-Purchases large bag of dope from supplier.
-Find the nearest dirt road, begin drinking heavily
-arrive at camp
-shenanigans involving liquor, firearms, fishing and fire.
-pass out

Saturday June 20 - AM

-Load up several canoes with many many beers
-put the bachelor (me) in the shittiest, most tippy fiberglass canoe
-run rapids of the macadavic river for several hours while drinking. No paddling required.
-get picked up by sister's BF's brother in his large truck, ferry back to the camp.

Saturday June 20 - PM

-Not hardcore crew arrives (including dads, uncles, cousins)
-shenanigans involving liquor, firearms, fishing and fire
-pass out

Sunday June 21 - AM

-my birthday
-clean up wreckage
-go home to die horrible hungover death.


Well...what do you think? Proper redneck bachelor party. No strippers, but that's only becuase no stripper in her right mind would dare go near us, at an isolated camp, middle of the woods at night.

Any good activities I'm missing?

[Aptorian]

It's not a proper bachelor party if there's not at least one dead stripper some place in the house when it's all over and done with.

But why are they letting you in on this stuff? Bachelor parties are not supposed to be know by the Bachelor.

[cerveza_fiesta]

meh...they kind of had to let me in on the major events, so I'd know who to invite along for which parts.

the term "shenanigans" above is a catchall for the shit they didn't tell me....and from the tone in his voice when he was mentinoning said "shenanigans", I'm sure I won't be let off the hook easy.

And strippers i can definitely do without. The nearest town is called Harvey, and it has only one type of stripper....the toothless, fat, one-armed kind.

[Darkwatch]

Three and a half days bachelor party in the woods drunk and with rapids.
Sounds pretty good to me, since you'll be convinced the bachelor in you has died at somepoint during all this.
Those shenanigans aren't going to be very awesome as they occur I'm sure. Well to you at least.
Too bad I can't be there.

[Abyss]

I've seen man-on-goat pornos that start like this.

- Abyss, ...is just saying...

[Fist Gamet]

Squeal little piggy, squeal...if you hear someone playing yankle doodle on the banjo you leg it the hell out of there, dude, and don't look back!

Still, that's pretty hardcore, though perhaps drunken-white-water rafting is a bit too potentially lethal for my tastes.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

cerveza_fiesta, on Jun 5 2009, 09:44 PM, said:

Well I was talking with my sister's boyfriend last night and he was running the plan for my bachelor by me. Sounds like its gonna be a doozie.

Friday June 19 - PM

-Sister's BF rents a van to transport the hardcore crew out to his camp after work.
-Picks up hardcore crew and all the beer we can carry.
-Purchases large bag of dope from supplier.
-Find the nearest dirt road, begin drinking heavily
-arrive at camp
-shenanigans involving liquor, firearms, fishing and fire.
-pass out

Saturday June 20 - AM

-Load up several canoes with many many beers
-put the bachelor (me) in the shittiest, most tippy fiberglass canoe
-run rapids of the macadavic river for several hours while drinking. No paddling required.
-get picked up by sister's BF's brother in his large truck, ferry back to the camp.

Saturday June 20 - PM

-Not hardcore crew arrives (including dads, uncles, cousins)
-shenanigans involving liquor, firearms, fishing and fire
-pass out

Sunday June 21 - AM

-my birthday
-clean up wreckage
-go home to die horrible hungover death.


Well...what do you think? Proper redneck bachelor party. No strippers, but that's only becuase no stripper in her right mind would dare go near us, at an isolated camp, middle of the woods at night.

Any good activities I'm missing?

Make sure to bring a body-bag....or at least a stomach pump.

I'll laugh if the aftermath of cerveza's party would turn out like The Hnagover...

[Aptorian]

Make sure to bring lots of gasoline and firearms with the safety off in those rafts.

[Obdigore]

Yes, you are missing one thing.

Paintball.

Well and strippers, but you already mentioned that.

So Paintball. Shooting your closest friends while drinkings beers is always a fun time.

[Illuyankas]

cerveza_fiesta, on Jun 5 2009, 01:07 PM, said:

And strippers i can definitely do without. The nearest town is called Harvey, and it has only one type of stripper....the toothless, fat, one-armed kind.

That's not a stripper, that's a slot machine.

[Eddie Dean]

Nothing like drinking beers on the river. Just make sure you have your cooler secure. I lost ALL of my beers on the first day of canoeing because we got tipped over and the cooler opened and beers went everywhere. I was sad..

[caladanbrood]

Try not to drown, anyway...

[Zanth13]

Is he dead yet?

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Illuyankas, on Jun 5 2009, 07:02 AM, said:

cerveza_fiesta, on Jun 5 2009, 01:07 PM, said:

And strippers i can definitely do without. The nearest town is called Harvey, and it has only one type of stripper....the toothless, fat, one-armed kind.

That's not a stripper, that's a slot machine.

Well played sir, well played.

[Sparkimus]

Illuyankas, on Jun 5 2009, 10:02 AM, said:

cerveza_fiesta, on Jun 5 2009, 01:07 PM, said:

And strippers i can definitely do without. The nearest town is called Harvey, and it has only one type of stripper....the toothless, fat, one-armed kind.

That's not a stripper, that's a slot machine.

Yay!!! I think you win the internets for that one.

[Coco with marshmallows]

canoein through the backwoods while pissed.

Good luck if you hear this tune

[frookenhauer]

duelling banjos...didnt even need to hear the tune

brilliant move absolutely brilliant. good call coco

[RodeoRanch]

shenanigans involving liquor, firearms, fishing and fire.




I like it. I would add in chasing a horse to put a hat on it but that's just me.

[Slow Ben]

Sounds like one hell of a good time. I always enjoy these types of bachelor parties.

Of course, a cruise of different strip clubs is nice also.

[Sinisdar Toste]

so you've got roughly two days to kill all thoughts of sleeping with another woman again? i can see why you need all the booze, guns and lethal activities.