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No more eating cabbage rolls at work. I was tooting like the little train that could all day long. I had to move quickly from one side of the building to other to avoid oversaturating an area and being revealed. Very sneaky.
This rule joins other luminaries like
- Blame brood
- Don't trust the pants. Treacherous creatures.
- The animal kingdom will kill me if given the chance, regardless of species encountered. Bears, birds, fish, all part of conspiracy. Be on guard.
- Never hit on a girl whose face you cannot see. Odds that she is ugly/a man/a bear are greater than chance that she is hot. Worst case scenario, you end up on date with ugly bear who not only eats you but never even calls the next day. Bitch.
New Rodeo life-rule.
#1
RodeoRanch 
- The Midnight Special
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- Group: Administrators
- Posts: 5,811
- Joined: 01-January 03
- Location:Alberta, Canada
Posted 16 March 2009 - 11:36 PM
#2
Darkwatch
- A Strange Human
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- Group: The Most Holy and Exalted Inquis
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- Joined: 21-February 03
- Location:MACS0647-JD
- 1.6180339887
Posted 16 March 2009 - 11:39 PM
I just let loose, helps me mark my territory.
The Pub is Always Open
Proud supporter of the Wolves of Winter. Glory be to her Majesty, The Lady Snow.
Cursed Summer returns. The Lady Now Sleeps.
The Sexy Thatch Burning Physicist
Τον Πρωτος Αληθη Δεσποτην της Οικιας Αυτος
Proud supporter of the Wolves of Winter. Glory be to her Majesty, The Lady Snow.
Cursed Summer returns. The Lady Now Sleeps.
The Sexy Thatch Burning Physicist
Τον Πρωτος Αληθη Δεσποτην της Οικιας Αυτος
RodeoRanch said:
You're a rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
#3
teholbeddict
- Drinking Queen of the Abyssmal Army!!!
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- Group: The Abyssmal Army
- Posts: 1,344
- Joined: 22-October 08
- Location:Winnipeg MB Canada
Posted 16 March 2009 - 11:40 PM
Those are definitely some words to live by Rodeo! You have me killing myself with laughter at the moment. I have to say though cabbage rolls are gross!
Procrastination is like masturbation, you're only F ing yourself...
-Bubbalicious -
Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr-
The only thing one can learn from one's past mistakes is how to repeat them exactly.
-Stone Monkey-
Muffins are just ugly cupcakes!
-Zanth13-
-Bubbalicious -
Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr-
The only thing one can learn from one's past mistakes is how to repeat them exactly.
-Stone Monkey-
Muffins are just ugly cupcakes!
-Zanth13-
#4
HoosierDaddy
- Believer
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 7,864
- Joined: 30-June 08
- Location:Indianapolis
- Interests:Football
Posted 16 March 2009 - 11:42 PM
RodeoRanch, on Mar 16 2009, 07:36 PM, said:
No more eating cabbage rolls at work. I was tooting like the little train that could all day long. I had to move quickly from one side of the building to other to avoid oversaturating an area and being revealed. Very sneaky.
This rule joins other luminaries like
- Blame brood
- Don't trust the pants. Treacherous creatures.
- The animal kingdom will kill me if given the chance, regardless of species encountered. Bears, birds, fish, all part of conspiracy. Be on guard.
- Never hit on a girl whose face you cannot see. Odds that she is ugly/a man/a bear are greater than chance that she is hot. Worst case scenario, you end up on date with ugly bear who not only eats you but never even calls the next day. Bitch.
This rule joins other luminaries like
- Blame brood
- Don't trust the pants. Treacherous creatures.
- The animal kingdom will kill me if given the chance, regardless of species encountered. Bears, birds, fish, all part of conspiracy. Be on guard.
- Never hit on a girl whose face you cannot see. Odds that she is ugly/a man/a bear are greater than chance that she is hot. Worst case scenario, you end up on date with ugly bear who not only eats you but never even calls the next day. Bitch.
Is there a corollary that involves never intending to see the face as an exception?
<------------ Naughty.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
#5
Mezla PigDog
- Malazan Yo Yo Champion 2009
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- Group: Mezla's Thought Police
- Posts: 2,669
- Joined: 03-September 04
Posted 16 March 2009 - 11:49 PM
I'm a girl, so therefore I do not break wind. If I did however, I would be sure to make use of the 4*C room at work. The cold kills those suckers dead and nobody is ever the wiser. Or so I hear *ahem*
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
#6
masan's saddle
- Emperor
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- Group: Malaz Regular
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- Location:masan's horse
Posted 16 March 2009 - 11:55 PM
HoosierDaddy, on Mar 16 2009, 11:42 PM, said:
RodeoRanch, on Mar 16 2009, 07:36 PM, said:
No more eating cabbage rolls at work. I was tooting like the little train that could all day long. I had to move quickly from one side of the building to other to avoid oversaturating an area and being revealed. Very sneaky.
This rule joins other luminaries like
- Blame brood
- Don't trust the pants. Treacherous creatures.
- The animal kingdom will kill me if given the chance, regardless of species encountered. Bears, birds, fish, all part of conspiracy. Be on guard.
- Never hit on a girl whose face you cannot see. Odds that she is ugly/a man/a bear are greater than chance that she is hot. Worst case scenario, you end up on date with ugly bear who not only eats you but never even calls the next day. Bitch.
This rule joins other luminaries like
- Blame brood
- Don't trust the pants. Treacherous creatures.
- The animal kingdom will kill me if given the chance, regardless of species encountered. Bears, birds, fish, all part of conspiracy. Be on guard.
- Never hit on a girl whose face you cannot see. Odds that she is ugly/a man/a bear are greater than chance that she is hot. Worst case scenario, you end up on date with ugly bear who not only eats you but never even calls the next day. Bitch.
Is there a corollary that involves never intending to see the face as an exception?
<------------ Naughty.
" Never look at the mantlepiece when your poking the fire "
Now all the friends that you knew in school they used to be so cool, now they just bore you.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
#7
Illuyankas
- Retro Classic
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- Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
- Posts: 7,254
- Joined: 28-September 04
- Will cluck you up
Posted 17 March 2009 - 12:00 AM
Mezla PigDog, on Mar 16 2009, 11:49 PM, said:
I'm a girl, so therefore I do not break wind. If I did however, I would be sure to make use of the 4*C room at work. The cold kills those suckers dead and nobody is ever the wiser. Or so I hear *ahem*
A female friend of mine, upon entering her house to visit her and her friends, mentioned she had had a lot of beans for dinner, and then promptly handed me an actual gas mask.
I needed it.
Girls most definitely fart, despite what you hear from doctors and movies and whatnot.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
#9
Aptorian
- How 'bout a hug?
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- Group: The Wheelchairs of War
- Posts: 24,781
- Joined: 22-May 06
Posted 17 March 2009 - 06:18 AM
I woke up with a girl from the uni a few weeks back. I was awakened by her letting rip a long, slightly wet, thoroughly manly sounding fart. I was amused. Then a bit appaled at the smell.
She didn't even wake up...
She didn't even wake up...
#10
HoosierDaddy
- Believer
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 7,864
- Joined: 30-June 08
- Location:Indianapolis
- Interests:Football
Posted 17 March 2009 - 06:20 AM
Excellent. I imagine it was an alcohol produced one, full of death of dreams and future tears of regret...
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
#11
Ain't_It_Just_
- The Recidivist
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- Group: LHTEC
- Posts: 2,369
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- Location:Oz
- Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
- The AIJman cometh
Posted 17 March 2009 - 07:32 AM
Jeez, those Asians sure love their bodily functions. Projectile vomiting, now this. I've been on wholemeal bread and such for years, and after much wheat gorging (don't ask), I nearly suffocated. Being in schoo didn't help, all that enclosed space...
Too much bad karma, Rod.
@Apt
ROFLBANSHEE
Have Imaginary-Rep.
Too much bad karma, Rod.
@Apt
ROFLBANSHEE
Have Imaginary-Rep.
Suck it Errant!
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."
QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.
#12
Darkwatch
- A Strange Human
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- Group: The Most Holy and Exalted Inquis
- Posts: 2,190
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- Location:MACS0647-JD
- 1.6180339887
Posted 17 March 2009 - 01:04 PM
HoosierDaddy, on Mar 17 2009, 02:20 AM, said:
Excellent. I imagine it was an alcohol produced one, full of death of dreams and future tears of regret...
That is a line I'm going to have to use.
Brilliant Stuff.
The Pub is Always Open
Proud supporter of the Wolves of Winter. Glory be to her Majesty, The Lady Snow.
Cursed Summer returns. The Lady Now Sleeps.
The Sexy Thatch Burning Physicist
Τον Πρωτος Αληθη Δεσποτην της Οικιας Αυτος
Proud supporter of the Wolves of Winter. Glory be to her Majesty, The Lady Snow.
Cursed Summer returns. The Lady Now Sleeps.
The Sexy Thatch Burning Physicist
Τον Πρωτος Αληθη Δεσποτην της Οικιας Αυτος
RodeoRanch said:
You're a rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
#13
Adjutant Stormy~
- Captain, Team Quick Ben
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- Group: Team Quick Ben
- Posts: 1,344
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Posted 17 March 2009 - 05:15 PM
Quote
She didn't even wake up...
Such intestinal fortitude!
Although, alcohol likely dampens the senses. I've farted so loudly in my sleep that I've startled myself awake. Then my laughter at the occurrence woke everyone in the house...
<!--quoteo(post=462161:date=Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM:name=Aptorian)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Aptorian @ Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=462161"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->God damn. Mighty drunk. Must ... what is the english movement movement movement for drunk... with out you seemimg drunk?
bla bla bla
Peopleare harrasing me... grrrrrh.
Also people with big noses aren't jews, they're just french
EDIT: We has editted so mucj that5 we're not quite sure... also, leave britney alone.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
bla bla bla
Peopleare harrasing me... grrrrrh.
Also people with big noses aren't jews, they're just french
EDIT: We has editted so mucj that5 we're not quite sure... also, leave britney alone.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
#15
Tiste Simeon
- Faith, Heavy Metal & Bacon
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- Group: Malaz Regular
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- Location:T'North
Posted 17 March 2009 - 06:12 PM
Aptorian, on Mar 17 2009, 06:01 PM, said:
Flattulence is funny!
Indeed it is, at least until you nearly crash the car you are driving by producing one of such magnificence, you nearly faint from the glory... It has happened...
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
#16
Abyss
- abyssus abyssum invocat
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- Interests:Interesting.
Posted 17 March 2009 - 06:13 PM
The trick is to leave no witnesses and evacuate the area stat.
- Abyss, ...so i hear, anyways...
- Abyss, ...so i hear, anyways...
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
#17
Urb
- Emperor
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- Group: Malazan Artist
- Posts: 796
- Joined: 16-April 07
Posted 17 March 2009 - 06:24 PM
One time, I let one rip that smelled so foul, everyone had to exit the vehicle because they couldn't breathe. And I couldn't hold it, because I was cramped up in pain, holding my stomach. It never felt so good to fart, and I was just glad I didn't shit my pants 
Once everyone was convinced I was alright, they decided it was funny...
Once everyone was convinced I was alright, they decided it was funny...
This post has been edited by Urb: 17 March 2009 - 06:25 PM
The leader, his audience still,
considered their scholarly will.
He lowered his head
and with anguish he said,
"But how will we teach them to kill?"
-some poet on reddit
considered their scholarly will.
He lowered his head
and with anguish he said,
"But how will we teach them to kill?"
-some poet on reddit
#18
Tiste Simeon
- Faith, Heavy Metal & Bacon
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- Group: Malaz Regular
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- Location:T'North
Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:23 PM
Urb, on Mar 17 2009, 06:24 PM, said:
One time, I let one rip that smelled so foul, everyone had to exit the vehicle because they couldn't breathe. And I couldn't hold it, because I was cramped up in pain, holding my stomach. It never felt so good to fart, and I was just glad I didn't shit my pants 
Once everyone was convinced I was alright, they decided it was funny...
Once everyone was convinced I was alright, they decided it was funny...
And why not? I cracked up just reading about it.
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
#19
Mezla PigDog
- Malazan Yo Yo Champion 2009
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- Group: Mezla's Thought Police
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- Joined: 03-September 04
Posted 18 March 2009 - 07:23 PM
Changing the subject from flatulence and on to life-rules. Does anyone else have them?
Mine are:
1. Short people cannot be trusted
2. People called Kate are the devil in disguise
3. Short people called Kate must be destroyed
4. If you are stressed or confused, sit down and make a list and then everything will feel better (doubly better if you do this with a cup of tea).
It shows how quiet my life has been in NJ that I haven't had to make a list all year. Usually I am a 1 list per day girl, at least! I love lists, without them I would have achieved nothing.
Mine are:
1. Short people cannot be trusted
2. People called Kate are the devil in disguise
3. Short people called Kate must be destroyed
4. If you are stressed or confused, sit down and make a list and then everything will feel better (doubly better if you do this with a cup of tea).
It shows how quiet my life has been in NJ that I haven't had to make a list all year. Usually I am a 1 list per day girl, at least! I love lists, without them I would have achieved nothing.
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
#20
Illuyankas
- Retro Classic
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- Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
- Posts: 7,254
- Joined: 28-September 04
- Will cluck you up
Posted 18 March 2009 - 07:29 PM
1. Stay away from lesbians who set fire to you.
2. STAY AWAY FROM LESBIANS WHO SET FIRE TO YOU
3. Don't tell baby seal jokes to attractive vegetarians and hot animal rights activists, they will not appreciate them.
4. Only tell jokes of any kind to someone once they get to know you. Or if you want them to leave you alone.
5. Recognise when people are fed up with you claiming to be Batman, and continue doing so anyway.
6. STAY AWAY FROM LESBIANS WHO SET FIRE TO YOU
I'm sure I'll have more later.
2. STAY AWAY FROM LESBIANS WHO SET FIRE TO YOU
3. Don't tell baby seal jokes to attractive vegetarians and hot animal rights activists, they will not appreciate them.
4. Only tell jokes of any kind to someone once they get to know you. Or if you want them to leave you alone.
5. Recognise when people are fed up with you claiming to be Batman, and continue doing so anyway.
6. STAY AWAY FROM LESBIANS WHO SET FIRE TO YOU
I'm sure I'll have more later.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
