[amphibian]

Sombra, on 03 December 2010 - 10:17 PM, said:

That is my fear as well, so maybe a suggestive sense of humour carried off with charm will help make her unable to pigeonhole him? Maybe a cool duelling scar he refuses to talk about?

The way to get out of being friend-zoned is not short. The best way to get around it is just to keep improving your self-confidence, overall know-how and do interesting things. You'll
care less and less about little stuff like whether it's hot, whether or not you strike out at a party and you'll bounce back from bad beats much faster.

Doing that isn't a quick process. But sometimes "fake it until you make it" works with that stuff. I'm not saying be the aloof asshole that looks down on everyone and everything - I'm saying find stuff you really geek out over and try to find interesting people to hang out with. It'll sort itself out, even on the romantic front.

Ain, on 04 December 2010 - 12:55 AM, said:

Yeah, but now I feel really uncertain about that. She kept saying "I really like you" and stuff like that, but I'm not sure if that was thw alcohol talking. She likes me already, but I'm not sure..

This may come off in a cynical fashion (so keep in mind that you NOT caring particularly about hooking up will usually lead to the paradox of hooking up):

One thing that teenage girls in particular looooove to do is to keep a dude on a fishing line. They're able to hook a guy on the bits and pieces of attention that they toss their way and kind of practice their skills of attraction on them. The guy dangles around forever and usually, nothing ever happens.

It's okay that you were weirded out at the party and by the scene there. However, don't go into super-protective mode (unless the girl really is in trouble). If it's your mate throwing the party, it doesn't stand to reason that there'd be super-sketchy people there. There's eight others around and presumably they're also minding the situation. You don't have to be the good cop - being your own self as someone chill to hang with is enough.

You can head elsewhere, find something else at the party to do or join in. That kind of scene will repeat itself many, many times in your life and it's up to you to figure out where you are and aren't comfortable - just like other people are doing. I hope you're able to keep sussing out what you're comfortable with and what you're not and listening to that. Alcohol is quite frequently abused and a lot of young people (like the younger me) completely miss the point where "having a good time" stops and "complete mess" begins.

Knowing is half the battle.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

amphibian, on 04 December 2010 - 03:41 AM, said:

The way to get out of being friend-zoned is not short. The best way to get around it is just to keep improving your self-confidence, overall know-how and do interesting things. You'll
care less and less about little stuff like whether it's hot, whether or not you strike out at a party and you'll bounce back from bad beats much faster.

Doing that isn't a quick process. But sometimes "fake it until you make it" works with that stuff. I'm not saying be the aloof asshole that looks down on everyone and everything - I'm saying find stuff you really geek out over and try to find interesting people to hang out with. It'll sort itself out, even on the romantic front.

To be completely honest, I don't think I have any romantic feelings towards this girl. Yeah, I know you talk about the paradox just below, but I don't see it happening. She was trying to make out with a few other guys as well, so yeah. I just want to get to know her better for now. I only met her in July. But thanks for the advice, it all makes sense.

Quote

This may come off in a cynical fashion (so keep in mind that you NOT caring particularly about hooking up will usually lead to the paradox of hooking up):

One thing that teenage girls in particular looooove to do is to keep a dude on a fishing line. They're able to hook a guy on the bits and pieces of attention that they toss their way and kind of practice their skills of attraction on them. The guy dangles around forever and usually, nothing ever happens.

It's okay that you were weirded out at the party and by the scene there. However, don't go into super-protective mode (unless the girl really is in trouble). If it's your mate throwing the party, it doesn't stand to reason that there'd be super-sketchy people there. There's eight others around and presumably they're also minding the situation. You don't have to be the good cop - being your own self as someone chill to hang with is enough.

You can head elsewhere, find something else at the party to do or join in. That kind of scene will repeat itself many, many times in your life and it's up to you to figure out where you are and aren't comfortable - just like other people are doing. I hope you're able to keep sussing out what you're comfortable with and what you're not and listening to that. Alcohol is quite frequently abused and a lot of young people (like the younger me) completely miss the point where "having a good time" stops and "complete mess" begins.

Knowing is half the battle.

Is that the sort of thing they ALL do? Consciously or unconsciously? Because if it's usually attributed to not-very-nice girls, then it should be OK, this girl's really nice. And she was very remorseful of what happened, and not just self-interest. She kept saying she was sorry about spoling the party for us.

You make a fair point as far as it being a mate's party goes. But there were plenty of stoners and bogans there, they just tended to do their business off in the shadows. Besides, when it was apparent that a bunch of them were in need of help, just about everyone pitched in to help. And because a few of them were jockying for the advantage (if you know what I mean), I had to keep an eye out. It's not like I was yelling at people to back off or anything. That'd be silly.

I'll admit, I was a tad disillusioned about the whole business. Not with the people who I knew were going to get drunk, but with those people who had seemed stable. They were stupid mistakes on their part, and they feel bad about it. I can live with that. I know it won't be the last time, but I just hope that if people are getting drunk, it's a festive occasion. Not where people end up doing stuff they regret and needing comforting.

Oh, and the other half is red and blue lasers.
Thanks for the words phib.

[MTS]

Messing with my groove? Aussie bowlers and stubborn English batsmen.

I'm half-expecting Cook to collapse, the man must be exhausted, he's practically spent the whole Ashes on the field. Tearing us apart too.

[Mentalist]

tons of shit to do tomorrow.

had the last day of class today (well, there's that one review on Monday), and about to enter law-school-exam-mode.

All my friends are beginning to freak out. some more than others.
I realize that this is mostly in their heads (and in mine as well), but it feels like i'm talking to a deaf crowd if I try to get that point across.

naturally, I realize that I shouldn't care, but it's hard not to, when you see what kind of a trainwreck some of my friends become.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

My stomach is hurting something awful. It's so bad I can't have ice-cream. I NEVER refuse ice-cream!

[Tiste Simeon]

Works night out. Good people but man, I despise clubbing... All they wanted to do was drink crappy shots and dance to crappy music all night. I went along in order to be part of the team but it just reinforced why I only ever do it once or twice a year...

Much more a sit down in a chilled pub, drink real ales and a cheeky scotch at the end of the night kind of guy!

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Trying to upload some happy snaps, but I need a cord to plug into the computer and the camera. It is currently with my grandparents overseas. Rage.

[Tiste Simeon]

Packing to move house and the fact that I haven't started it yet...

[Slow Ben]

I stubbed my toe.

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[amphibian]

Ain, on 04 December 2010 - 04:12 AM, said:

Is that the sort of thing they ALL do? Consciously or unconsciously? Because if it's usually attributed to not-very-nice girls, then it should be OK, this girl's really nice. And she was very remorseful of what happened, and not just self-interest. She kept saying she was sorry about spoling the party for us.

In my experience, not all girls do or did that. The hot and shallow ones were of course the ones who did it most often, but even nicer, less physically attractive girls did it.

The apology she gave is kind of odd. She lost her inhibitions, went ahead and did this that and the other thing and then apologized because she spoiled the party for you guys. It sounds more like she's concerned with her rep than an actual apology.

Eh, whatever. You're continuing to be chill and the right girl and the right time will come up soon.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

I should not be allowed on facebook when I'm drunk. SERIOUSLY.

[Aptorian]

Mythbusters are being stupid again

They are testing whether a superhero like phantom would have been able to leave a skull shaped scar or indentation on a bad guy by punching him with a skull ring.

So what they do, the jackasses, is to make a ring that has the skull etched into it INSTEAD of having the skull sticking out of the ring, meaning it is just a flat surface they are punching with. So, they are hitting with a flat surface instead of the raised markings of the skull.

What is worse, the rings are like an inch by an inch wide, meaning they are hitting the flesh with a big surface instead of smaller, more focused, kinetic impact like the phantom ring.

And then they were just punching a pig on a random area, instead of a skull. Which obviously didn't leave any marks, but might have bruised it. Then they move on to a faux skull, but set the machine up so that they are punching the skull at a bad angle.

And then they deemed the myth busted when they couldn't leave a mark with out using so much force that the skull crumbled.

So angry.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

amphibian, on 04 December 2010 - 08:30 PM, said:

Ain, on 04 December 2010 - 04:12 AM, said:

Is that the sort of thing they ALL do? Consciously or unconsciously? Because if it's usually attributed to not-very-nice girls, then it should be OK, this girl's really nice. And she was very remorseful of what happened, and not just self-interest. She kept saying she was sorry about spoling the party for us.

In my experience, not all girls do or did that. The hot and shallow ones were of course the ones who did it most often, but even nicer, less physically attractive girls did it.

The apology she gave is kind of odd. She lost her inhibitions, went ahead and did this that and the other thing and then apologized because she spoiled the party for you guys. It sounds more like she's concerned with her rep than an actual apology.

Eh, whatever. You're continuing to be chill and the right girl and the right time will come up soon.

Well, I just spent yesterday with the same girl with some other friends, and I don't think she was concerned with her "rep." She apologised to a whole bunch of people, including the parents of my friend I mentioned. She doesn't seem to be hankering for regained credibility. No-one else seems to mind. I dunno. Maybe she just wants to put it behind her. She doesn't remember much. That's fine with me.

Groove is messed because my sweat has assumed a new smell. Pungent, almost sickly sweet. It is making me feel sick.

[Mentalist]

my inabaility to get work done on time. looks like i'll be pulling an all-nighter to get this memo done...

[MTS]

Got asked by an older gentleman whether I was 'up for a good time' outside a Mcdonald's today. It was one of the more awkward moments of my life. I was afraid my gf would have a stroke when I told her a few minutes later, she was laughing that hard. Still won't stop giggling.

[Gothos]

Might be I'll be dumping this job in the coming weeks/months. I'm really getting annoyed how everyone wants something all the time and they treat it as either favours or take my knowledge for granted, while I'm making really shitty money. Not to mention the organisational chaos and last-minute changes. Doing something for a few days, then someone walks in and says 'scratch all that, do it again this way'.

Fuck this shit. I'd rather be a teacher or something.

[Tiste Simeon]

Working shifts. I'm not a fan.

[pathos]

Gothos, on 06 December 2010 - 09:23 AM, said:

Might be I'll be dumping this job in the coming weeks/months. I'm really getting annoyed how everyone wants something all the time and they treat it as either favours or take my knowledge for granted, while I'm making really shitty money. Not to mention the organisational chaos and last-minute changes. Doing something for a few days, then someone walks in and says 'scratch all that, do it again this way'.

Fuck this shit. I'd rather be a teacher or something.

What job are you doing if you dont mind me asking?

[Ulrik]

Moving from flat to flat doesnt go as planned. So many things to do...pah.

[Gothos]

Pathos, on 06 December 2010 - 09:40 AM, said:

Gothos, on 06 December 2010 - 09:23 AM, said:

Might be I'll be dumping this job in the coming weeks/months. I'm really getting annoyed how everyone wants something all the time and they treat it as either favours or take my knowledge for granted, while I'm making really shitty money. Not to mention the organisational chaos and last-minute changes. Doing something for a few days, then someone walks in and says 'scratch all that, do it again this way'.

Fuck this shit. I'd rather be a teacher or something.

What job are you doing if you dont mind me asking?

On paper it's customer support. In practice this is what I'm doing:
Content administration and correspondence regarding copyright infringement for three websites
Technicall Support and Billing management for one website
Translations for a variety of things, from Facebook profiles, through other people's correspondence to website content
Copywriting and other content creation for another website
Supervision and 'expertise' for newer, mildly competent support staff

When I started working a year ago, it was just the first line.