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What's messing with your groove?

#30681 User is online   JPK 

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Posted 25 November 2024 - 05:39 PM

 Azath Vitr (D, on 25 November 2024 - 04:51 PM, said:

I just looked down and... there was a mouse crawling on my foot! On my thick winter slippers, so I hadn't felt it. I gave a little kick and it scampered away.

Now the game is afoot... guess I'll look for Black Friday deals on mouse traps. To kill, or not to kill, that is the question... and where would I release it? Would I really want to carry it a long distance just so it (or its offspring) probably wouldn't return.

Wrap it up like a present and give it to your property manager? Maybe with a vial of the reoccurring black sludge?
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#30682 User is offline   Briar King 

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Posted 26 November 2024 - 03:43 AM

There’s only one option with roaches, rats or large people above your I assume still flesh and blood head. Extermination.
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#30683 User is online   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 26 November 2024 - 01:47 PM

Anyone know if mice like palek paneer? I'm a little worried it might be too spicy for the mouse.

Could try to wash the paneer first. Or cut off the outside, if the spice hasn't infused the cheese all through. Just the pure heart of the cheese.

Ordered a "humane" deluxe electroshock trap. (Sorry, Felthrup!) "Humane" as in "instant death electric shock". I'd suppose that's a fair use of the adjective, given what humanity is like...

Being ultra-hi-tech, it recommends baiting it with a piece of cheese. No recommendations on what type of cheese... I am a little concerned that if the aroma carries far enough it might attract more mice/rats, not to mention insects etc. All waiting in line to die in that tiny electric chair slaughterhouse...
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#30684 User is online   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 26 November 2024 - 01:47 PM

Anyone know if mice like palek paneer? I'm a little worried it might be too spicy for the mouse.

Could try to wash the paneer first. Or cut off the outside, if the spice hasn't infused the cheese all through. Just the pure heart of the cheese.

Ordered a "humane" deluxe electroshock trap. (Sorry, Felthrup!) "Humane" as in "instant death electric shock". I'd suppose that's a fair use of the adjective, given what humanity is like...

Being ultra-hi-tech, it recommends baiting it with a piece of cheese. No recommendations on what type of cheese... I am a little concerned that if the aroma carries far enough it might attract more mice/rats, not to mention insects etc. All waiting in line to die in that tiny electric chair slaughterhouse...
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#30685 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 26 November 2024 - 04:33 PM

A hungry enough mouse will eat almost anything, but if you handle the stuff too much there may be enough human scent to make them cautious.
I wouldn't go for an elaborate electro-shock-dr-evil-death-trap. The plastic snap traps are very effective when baited (i recommend Nutella) and located (along a wall in the dark) properly. Alternately, a crossbow.
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#30686 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 26 November 2024 - 05:18 PM

Has no one suggested getting a gray cat and naming it Tom?
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

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#30687 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 27 November 2024 - 07:03 PM

View PostQuickTidal, on 26 November 2024 - 05:18 PM, said:

Has no one suggested getting a gray cat and naming it Tom and arming it w a crossbow?


Fixed.

Would also accept a black n white cat named Sylvester or a coyote.
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#30688 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 27 November 2024 - 07:55 PM

Father in law is once again in the hospital after having broken his ankle. Again. The same one he broke at the beginning of 2020 (which put him in the hospital with 9 pins in it, and rehabbing for 3 months)....well he spent the intervening years NOT making any effort to properly physio himself back to proper shape so that it was not longer weak. So about two months back the surgeon said the original break from 2020 was healed, removed the pins...fast forward to about 1.5 months ago and he falls and injures it...take some leftover T3s for pain (and scotch; he drinks a lot) and then claims he's fine. My wife goes over to see him, his ankle is BLACK. So she takes him to the hospital, it's broken in two places. So back to the same rehab hospital he was at before to once again rehab so that he can weight bear. Now, the good part is that my sister-in-law is a manager at this rehab hospital, so she can keep an eye on him, and make sure things progress well.

A week or so back he started randomly saying he was getting out on Dec 4th to go home. This is news to us as we've not heard this and he was not weight bearing enough yet to manage just walking, let alone the stairs in his rambling brownstone. Then he said that it was moved up and that it would be Nov 30th and could my wife pick him up....


None of this rang accurate to me, and since we only heard it from him I said "Hang on, have we heard from an actual OT, MD, or nurse, or even our sister in law about this?"...so we dove in and the sister in law says that NO ONE has spoken to him about discharge at all. And the manager of that floor (not my sister in law) said they should do a cognition test.


So we go through all this and my OTHER sister in law (the one who I usually butt heads with, my wife's actual sister) basically starts trying to suggest maybe he heard wrong, or he did his own math, or whatever else. I can tell up front that her goal is not advocation, it's to believe her dad, and get him home as soon as he wishes and not to believe there is cognitive things going on...so she calls him...now he's claiming that the MD who is looking after him now said 10 days after the cast came off, and that the Surgeon at the previous hospital said 1-2 weeks...and that's where he got those dates from...but this conflicts with what the sister in law who works there told us in that very text stream that NO ONE spoke with him about discharge, so that would include the MD he claims told him 10 days after cast off.

I think he's SO hell bent on getting home before Christmas and getting out of the hospital (I mean I get it, it sucks to be in hospital for that long) that he's lying about how he came up with those very specify dates saying he spoke with people about it when it's clear he didn't...and my sister in law is so intent on believing him (And I mean, I get it, he's her dad, she doesn't want him to be having cognitive issues) that she phoned him to let him lie to her so that she could be like "Oh no it's fine guys, everything is normal"


Meanwhile, this man has had more than a few issues with cognition that he's brushed off before now...and I noted that every time he related these discharge dates, was after sundown. So I think it's either hospital delirium (which is a thing) or he's sundowning and we are seeing the very tip of dementia and he's just very good at concealing it, especially to the one daughter who wants so badly to believe he's okay.


He's also 77, overweight, and drinks about a 26-er of Scotch every day or two. None of which would help if he's developing early signs of dementia.

Anyways, I'm advocating to get to the bottom of this and my sister in law is getting angry with me for doing so....I think becuase she's worried if we dig too deep we will find something, and since they just lost their mom in 2018 that using their dad this short a time later would be too much.


But gods, I'm just trying to make sure the guy is okay.
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#30689 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 28 November 2024 - 01:00 AM

That's an awful saga, QuickTidal. I've found it very helpful to have a journal by the bedside to record medication changes and what the latest is on discharge or medical timelines are. Having it be written by hand is routine building, effective communication, and wards (a little bit) the forgetting or the purposeful misunderstandings.

We've done that for my grandmother up until the point where she sorta lost the ability to comprehend text and I've seen it be very effective for the care team of someone undergoing heart bypass surgery + the recovery.

There may need to be home care instituted for when he does return home. Someone who's losing grips on when to care for themselves will get significant health benefits and stability from that home care person coming in every so often, stay in the home longer, and have a bit of a better early warning system. It's not going to change the heavy drinking or cognitive effects, yet it'll put a floor on how bad things can get.
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#30690 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 28 November 2024 - 01:44 PM

View Postamphibian, on 28 November 2024 - 01:00 AM, said:

That's an awful saga, QuickTidal. I've found it very helpful to have a journal by the bedside to record medication changes and what the latest is on discharge or medical timelines are. Having it be written by hand is routine building, effective communication, and wards (a little bit) the forgetting or the purposeful misunderstandings.


That's a good idea, will try it.

View Postamphibian, on 28 November 2024 - 01:00 AM, said:

There may need to be home care instituted for when he does return home. Someone who's losing grips on when to care for themselves will get significant health benefits and stability from that home care person coming in every so often, stay in the home longer, and have a bit of a better early warning system. It's not going to change the heavy drinking or cognitive effects, yet it'll put a floor on how bad things can get.


Indeed. We've already suggested this and have someone we know who does this in mind (a PSW friend of an ER nurse we know)...and he does not want for money to pay for it either (he's got plenty; he inherited lots from my MIL who passed as she was quite wealthy)...but he's bucking at the idea because he's super cheap even with all the money and property he has. And I know why too....he's going to expect my wife to pick up that slack. It's always been my wife VS his other two children because they both live JUST far enough a way to make it a hassle to come into the city, and we've always lived 20min from him....now that we are moving though we are more like an hour from him....but we are still the closest, and my wife will do it because that's just who she is she kindness incarnate to everyone around her, but the last time she did it the last time this all happened, it burned her out something fierce and nearly destroyed her relationship with her father.

In advocation for her I have asked her siblings to both step up, and received brick walls of "Well we can't do it, we live X amount of kilometres away" and my sister in law has a useless husband when it comes to her three kids, so she's almost a single parent so she often just shuts anyone down who asks for things saying "I can't leave the kids"

This man leaves his clean dishes in the dishwasher for a week because he doesn't want to empty it and because he knows that my wife visits him at least a few times a week and knows she will do it. You'd think this is just "old man doesn't want to injure himself putting dishes away"....but no, throughout the entire time I've known him and while his wife was alive, she cooked and cleaned, and he would sit there after dinner and not clear his plate...his daughters did it. When I started attending dinners, I not only got up and cleared my stuff but everyone else stuff and then I've always done the dishes. Let me tell you that for the first year for so of this I got LOOKS from my wife's dad, her grandfather, and her brother....all of whom sat like lumps. Hell, at the hospital he's at now, the OT said that "his views on women are...interesting" so this is all part and parcel to all this too.

Anyways, yeah my wife will fight with him about getting in that PSW to help to make it happen...but who knows.

Thanks for your advice, we will definitely look into the bedside journal.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 28 November 2024 - 01:46 PM

"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

"Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone." ~Ursula Vernon
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#30691 User is online   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 November 2024 - 03:04 PM

Perhaps I should've listened to the AI's warnings.

It seems I ate some flesh-eating bacteria inside the crab.

Some of the details are pretty gross so I'll spoiler them.

Finished the leftovers yesterday morning (I'd frozen them before taking them back on the train, then let them thaw overnight---freezing generally doesn't kill bacteria). The incubation period for the flesh-eating bacteria is about 24 hours, so I still had no idea what was coming.

It started last night, when I could feel and hear stranger things than usual going on in my bowels. Only slight discomfort. I was telling myself it's actually a good thing, because it indicates that my gut microbiome is processing fresh bacteria... and increasing gut microbiome diversity is conjectured to generally be a good thing.

That's when I first had some
Spoiler


Then I tried to lie down, and became very
Spoiler


Woke up early this morning, stumbled over to the bathroom to
Spoiler
, but since then I haven't had too much
Spoiler
. Instead I've been having
Spoiler
And it burns, burns, burns, / My spicy
Spoiler
, / The ring of fire...

Instead of the good bacteria I got the evil bacteria. The demon bacteria? Though to be fair to the flesh-eating bacteria I did eat it first. And bacteria are beyond good and evil. Apparently it's typically only very dangerous for people with severely compromised immune systems. If it gets too bad I'll go to urgent care or call 911.

Over the course of my life I've eaten ridiculous quantities of raw shellfish... mostly oysters, but some crab too. Including gejang. Never got sick before. Then again I used to always drink alcohol with it.

Quote

Several small studies on food-borne illness outbreaks have indeed found that consuming alcohol was associated with protection from food poisoning, but [...] have limitations.


Spoiler


If you drink too much, it's also possible that alcohol might make your intestine more susceptible to infections [...] four to five or more drinks in about two hours for most adults — can cause inflammation and signs of "leakiness" in the gut lining, which can allow bacteria and toxins to more easily enter the blood. [...] heavy, chronic drinking can reduce your immune system's ability to fight infections[...] people with alcohol use disorder are more susceptible to illness or even death from certain food-borne infections like listeria and vibrio.

Can Drinking Alcohol Prevent Food Poisoning? - The New York Times

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#30692 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 28 November 2024 - 04:18 PM

View PostQuickTidal, on 27 November 2024 - 07:55 PM, said:

Father in law




Update:

Wife's sister (the one I don't get along with as well) fought me tooth and nail that her father was not lying about the dates he spat out about and that he just came to them organically from what the surgeon and his current MD told him.

Well, my other sister-in-law who works at the hospital went to speak with him today and got out of him that he was indeed making up the dates as he just wants to go home.

So score one for me being right about that part.

He had a cognition test and scored fine, so that's good at least.

Will come home in about two weeks apparently. This will overlap with us by about a week and change (we are staying at his place for December so the kids can finish the school term at their old school, since we will be out of the condo and have the keys to the new house by that point), so at the very least we will be present for the first chunk of time he's home.

The problem arises in the fact that, when my wife told him he needed to get Private PT (which his insurance actually covers), he said "Ill see how I am and what I can do first"....which translates to "I will never do this. I will slip back into my routine of ignoring any physio and sit on my couch in the back room and drink scotch"...my wife was like "Oh okay, let's see how it goes"....and thankfully my sister-in-law from the hospital swooped in and said "No. He cannot be allowed to wait and see. This is the reason he ended up breaking his same ankle a second time in 4 years, because the last time he said he would see how it went and MAYBE get the help to physio it" and never did, used his deceased wife's walkers as a crutch while moving around the house and this all lead to breaking his ankle again this time. She said "He must be forced to do this or it will not happen." I agreed, and so does my wife now that she thought about it. That sister-in-law and I bring to the table that he's not our dad, so we bring an impartial vote to the table, while my wife, and her sister are emotionally involved in not upsetting their dad.


Anyways, two steps forward, one back...but progress is progress.

View PostAzath Vitr (D, on 28 November 2024 - 03:04 PM, said:

Instead of the good bacteria I got the evil bacteria. The demon bacteria? Though to be fair to the flesh-eating bacteria I did eat it first. And bacteria are beyond good and evil. Apparently it's typically only very dangerous for people with severely compromised immune systems. If it gets too bad I'll go to urgent care or call 911.



I would just make sure you're hydrated for now. Dehydration is the biggest threat from such runs. I have a rule, if it goes on for more than 3 days, have it looked into in case you need antibiotics for a bacterial virus you system can't kick on its own. try to avoid taking any Immodium or the sort as your body is clearly trying to kick something out, so you want to let it do its work as best it can. That said, I understand the need to take it if you have life things that get in the way. The vomiting and diarreah together suggest that you definitely have something akin to food poisoning...but yeah fluids (pedialtye, gatorade, or the like) is good for hydration, and if you want to "eat something" once you feel up to it, consommé is my go-to as it fills me up and is a hydrator.

Anyways, that sucks dude. I've been there. Hope you feel better soon.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 28 November 2024 - 04:26 PM

"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

"Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone." ~Ursula Vernon
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#30693 User is online   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 November 2024 - 07:14 PM

View PostQuickTidal, on 28 November 2024 - 04:18 PM, said:

I would just make sure you're hydrated for now. Dehydration is the biggest threat from such runs. I have a rule, if it goes on for more than 3 days, have it looked into in case you need antibiotics for a bacterial virus you system can't kick on its own. try to avoid taking any Immodium or the sort as your body is clearly trying to kick something out, so you want to let it do its work as best it can. That said, I understand the need to take it if you have life things that get in the way. The vomiting and diarreah together suggest that you definitely have something akin to food poisoning...but yeah fluids (pedialtye, gatorade, or the like) is good for hydration, and if you want to "eat something" once you feel up to it, consommé is my go-to as it fills me up and is a hydrator.

Anyways, that sucks dude. I've been there. Hope you feel better soon.


Yeah, I've been drinking lots of green tea (conjectured to help the good bacteria and harm the bad bacteria, though the evidence for this in humans seems weak) and fluids (and Shanxi vinegar---same thing as green tea basically (incidentally, traditionally produced soy sauce that's not pasteurized is apparently a good source of probiotics---though most of the soy sauce sold in North America is not)). I just had some leftover tofu soup from that same restaurant---non-spicy, and I heated it to boiling in the microwave and let it sit covered for a while in the unlikely event of cross-contamination. Because tofu is easy to digest.

Green Tea and Its Relation to Human Gut Microbiome - PMC

Beneficial effect of vinegar consumption associated with regulating gut microbiome and metabolome - PMC

Probiotic characteristics of Bacillus strains isolated from Korean traditional soy sauce - ScienceDirect

At this point I'm most concerned about flushing out (or slaughtering) the good bacteria I've been dutifully accumulating since the end of my fast. Like throwing the babies out with the proverbial bathwater.

Though I'd suppose my berserker immune cells should be able to tell the difference between the good ones and the evil ones. And the good bacteria are probably fighting the evil bacteria (or at least starving them of nutrients... together with my immune system's purgations it's a bit like the Russian response to Napoleon's invasion---mixed with a bit of nuking):

Quote

many [microbes in your gut] protect you from harmful infections.

Bacteria live in colonies. This lets them work together to form defenses against other bacteria. But how they defend themselves from infiltrating bacteria isn't fully understood.

[...] A team of NIH scientists [...] published in Cell [... that t]hrough analysis of the microbiota, the team identified a class of bacteria—Deltaproteobacteria—involved in fighting these infections. Further analysis led them to identify taurine as the trigger for Deltaproteobacteria activity. Taurine is an amino acid that helps the body digest fats and oils. It is found naturally in bile acids in the gut. The Deltaproteobacteria produce an antimicrobial compound from taurine called sulfide.

Gut bacteria use nutrient to fight off germs | National Institutes of Health (NIH)


Oh, and I almost forgot... for those of us in the United States... Happy Thanksgiving! Perhaps reading about my trials & tribulations will help inspire you not to eat too much this Thanksgiving (nah... slim chance of that!).
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#30694 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 29 November 2024 - 03:32 AM

Azath, this is the ultimate natural cleanse.

The error was holding on to the raw shellfish, despite the freeze. I am extremely liberal with use by dates - a sniff test is enough for me - but even I draw the line at fish and chicken.

My groove is messed by bad dreams. I dreamt my kid went missing. Now I can't go back to sleep. I had to get up to make sure he was still in his bed. I think the nightmare was brought on by going to bed in a giant fleece Oodie with a hot water bottle because the heating is still knackered. I woke up a tad overheated! Six days to go for the new boiler.

This post has been edited by Mezla PigDog: 29 November 2024 - 03:36 AM

Burn rubber =/= warp speed
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#30695 User is online   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 29 November 2024 - 12:24 PM

 Mezla PigDog, on 29 November 2024 - 03:32 AM, said:

Azath, this is the ultimate natural cleanse.

The error was holding on to the raw shellfish, despite the freeze. I am extremely liberal with use by dates - a sniff test is enough for me - but even I draw the line at fish and chicken.



Perhaps---the raw crab is traditionally salted for long-term preservation, but modern preparations tend to use a lot less salt... still they're apparently expected to stay good for a few days because of the salty marinade:

Quote

gejang (게장) is a traditional dish that used to be marinated in a very salty soy sauce brine as a way of preserving the crabs for a long time. These days, the crabs are lightly preserved, in either a mild soy sauce-based brine (ganjang gejang) or in a spicy sauce (yangnyeom gejang), to be consumed within a few days.

Yangnyeom Gejang (Spicy Raw Crabs) - Korean Bapsang

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#30696 User is online   JPK 

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Posted 03 December 2024 - 03:28 AM

 Azath Vitr (D, on 29 November 2024 - 12:24 PM, said:

 Mezla PigDog, on 29 November 2024 - 03:32 AM, said:

Azath, this is the ultimate natural cleanse.

The error was holding on to the raw shellfish, despite the freeze. I am extremely liberal with use by dates - a sniff test is enough for me - but even I draw the line at fish and chicken.



Perhaps---the raw crab is traditionally salted for long-term preservation, but modern preparations tend to use a lot less salt... still they're apparently expected to stay good for a few days because of the salty marinade:

Quote

gejang (게장) is a traditional dish that used to be marinated in a very salty soy sauce brine as a way of preserving the crabs for a long time. These days, the crabs are lightly preserved, in either a mild soy sauce-based brine (ganjang gejang) or in a spicy sauce (yangnyeom gejang), to be consumed within a few days.

Yangnyeom Gejang (Spicy Raw Crabs) - Korean Bapsang



How're you doing Azath? Did the bacteria leave anything when it was through with you?
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#30697 User is offline   TheRetiredBridgeburner 

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Posted 03 December 2024 - 09:54 AM

Visited my dad over the weekend for his birthday and I was in one of his exhausting moods. Made somewhat worse because I'd say for the best part of a year he's been substantially better.

He lives alone, and is entirely ill-suited to it. He can't do silence and spends far too much time in his own head, getting worked up about whatever nonsense the Daily Mail is claiming people need to be worried about this week. He's 69 this week and feels very out of touch with the modern world, and I think it frightens him. Rather than do anything sensible about that he just retreats into "everything I don't understand is wrong" and likes to then treat us to ranting about it.

Highlights of the day include:
  • Backseat driving (because I'm a woman, and we all know they can't drive right?)
  • "Surely you know where you're going" when I was inputting where we were headed into the sat nav. Yes, but given we'd both had horrible drives a couple of days prior because of road closures and accidents, forgive me if I just want a quick look to check there's nothing en route. Eventually ended with me saying "Who's driving" and him muttering to himself for a few minutes.
  • Throwing arms around while talking and pointing across me (and my field of vision) at places he knows or where people live while I was driving. I actually lost my temper with that because he used to moan constantly about my mum (a non-driver) doing the same to him, and he drives so has absolutely no excuse to be so distracting.
  • An all day litany of how the country is broken, nothing works any more, everyone is inconsiderate and breaks the law whenever they feel like it (this was largely about people speeding, and he absolutely did not grasp the irony of then admitting he speeds on a local road "because the limit is ridiculous")
  • Long winded rants about things he doesn't understand. He's a bricklayer, has never worked in an office and actively disdains any sort of work that involves being sat at a desk. He gets very buzzwordy and his new favourites are "legislation" ("we used to sell houses without the need for a site manager, a marketing suite, an agent etc, someone clearly brought legislation in that means you have to have all that now") and a new particular bugbear about managers ("If a manager sets up a system that's working, then surely there's no need for the manager anymore"). When we both explained as gently as possible how management works in our industries and that this really isn't the case, he just goes around the point until you stop talking and comes back with "Well, that's how I look at it, nobody's ever explained it to my satisfsaction." Probably because you don't listen and you say these things to be agreed with, not to have a discussion.
  • "Did you see this in the news?" only to then be cross when we said no, we hadn't seen whatever the thing was. If you don't want to talk about/know about the things he's decided to talk about, that's a grievous sin apparently.
  • Remember that complete inability to do silence? We got to the point of him reading road signs we passed just for the sake of talking. That's how desperate he is for there to not be even a moment of quiet.
  • The walk we went on was through a dale we used to visit when I was a kid, and we picked it largely because Si had never been to that part of the Peaks before. The river has dippers which we used to see regularly. "Where's the dipper?". "Come on, we used to see dippers all the time", "I wanted to see the dipper". Probably in the region of 20 times. By the end he was talking to himself because I couldn't be bothered to repeat myself responding any more.

I like to think I'm a fairly patient person, but we live a quiet existence most of the time so to say this is all an assault on the senses is to make an understatement and it feels like dealing with a child. We both came away feeling so low because the talk all day was just depressing.

His one hobby is skiing, so the slight saving grace is he'll have been on one of his multiple annual trips by the time we see him again around Christmas, so should be in a better mood.

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 03 December 2024 - 10:01 AM

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#30698 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 03 December 2024 - 10:22 AM

Oh dang Hannah that's rough, and it's hard to get someone out of that kind of rabbit hole unfortunately. Are there any events/clubs/social groups nearby he can join so that he's not always in his own head?
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#30699 User is offline   TheRetiredBridgeburner 

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Posted 03 December 2024 - 10:44 AM

 Tiste Simeon, on 03 December 2024 - 10:22 AM, said:

Oh dang Hannah that's rough, and it's hard to get someone out of that kind of rabbit hole unfortunately. Are there any events/clubs/social groups nearby he can join so that he's not always in his own head?


I'd love it if he found something like this, we've suggested it countless times and occasionally he sounds vaguely receptive but never actually does anything. I think part of the problem may be that both a friend and I at different stages have suggested he could do with speaking to someone professionally about his mental health and he balked so hard at it I think he half suspects any club suggested will end up secretly being therapy related.

If he would just admit he's lonely and needs company that would be half the battle, but he's forever telling us he's fine on his own (and then again not recognising the irony of saying "I spend too much time in my own head" as if the two are not connected).

One of the most hurtful things for me is that I can spend all day with him and aside from "How are you" at the beginning of the day he won't ask a single thing about me or my life. It's as if there's no desire to see me, his daughter, I could be anyone as long as it's someone to monologue at.

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 03 December 2024 - 10:50 AM

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#30700 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 03 December 2024 - 01:55 PM

All of this reads like he's covering up that there's something wrong with his cognition. He's afraid you're going to notice and is going after your news literacy to show that he's fully up to speed etc.

I'd be careful about talking to him on this. But watch for small accidents in the house or when driving etc.

I hope it's not this and he's just a grumpy, super lonely person, but my Spidey senses from my grandmother and several clients are tingling here.
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