[Gust Hubb]

Slow Ben, on 06 September 2021 - 09:12 PM, said:

Macros, on 06 September 2021 - 07:12 PM, said:

Im sorry Gust, but what the fuck. Your wife knows you are seriously considering divorce, knows you guys have hella problems and shes fucked off drinking for 2 days?

Dude Gust, I know you know this, but thats fucked up. "Off drinking, unavailable" JFC.

And i normally try not to make judgments like that, because if something works for a couple, who am i to judge? But man.

Thanks guys. Yeah today was rough but thankfully my sis and bliss were able to listen on the phone during the worst of it. I mean, at this point it is the long game, waiting for a bit more accrual in savings now that I have a super good remote job starting soon, letting the custody battle reach a conclusion at the end of Feb, and giving the couples counseling (on the 16th) a try, as a stupid optimist I am sure. 6 more months and i should have some better direction.

But no, a day like today was stupid and thoughtless on her part, I doubt she even thinks it was a problem. I gather her newer shrink thinks she is either borderline personality or bipolar, which has given me major pause as I think through whether there is anything to salvage. I mean we do have some good days, especially when she has felt bad and tried to be better (short term versus real change, have to see...). But 6 months. Gonna suffer some more and try to enjoy where I can.

[Morgoth]

Those occasional glimmers of good days are not worth all the shitty ones GH. It should be the other way around.

[Knowing]

Background check for temp to hire
A couple years ago I was fired on the spot for drinking on the job (small sips to keep the withdrawls at bay). Unfortunately I signed a paper saying I would not consent to a drug test but at the same time admitted it was alcohol. Dumb thing to do rather than just walking out but I was incredibly depressed at the time and was slightly buzzed, suffice to say not thinking clearly. Fast forward two and half years and I'm 1yr 8months sober, completed a Intensive Outpatient Program for addicts and been living at an Oxford Clean and Sober House for nearly a year.

I got the job through a temp agency and it's been going amazing the past eight months and was selected to get hired on full time with good pay and great benefits. Its a warehouse job so nothing too fancy, and I've already passed one background check through the temp agency. But now they want me to re-apply for the full time job as well as go through another background check.
I know they most likely are just verifying my work history/clean criminal record. But my anxiety is through the roof. Been through a lot and was able to crawl out of the alcoholic pit I was in, just ties me in knots thinking this would reveal my past and set me back a job.

[amphibian]

First, way to go on getting treatment, putting in all the work, and showing up for that day after day.

I'm sorry about the anxiety. I think and hope you'll get through this alright.

[Malankazooie]

The smoke in the area from the fires burning in CA. This has been ALL-SUMMER-LONG.

[Tiste Simeon]

Appears I'm missing an incredible tennis match by being at work. Not a major MWMG but I wish I could have seen it.

[Lady Bliss]

Malankazooie, on 08 September 2021 - 06:56 PM, said:

The smoke in the area from the fires burning in CA. This has been ALL-SUMMER-LONG.

I remember that from last summer in California. It was constantly brown outside, and I had a hard time breathing anytime I went outdoors. It’s so sad how bad the fires have been on the west coast.

[Lady Bliss]

I’ve been pretty freaked all weekend about my mom. Earlier this year she was diagnosed with the early stages of Alzheimer’s, and now her pulmonologist has ran a bunch of tests and says he is 97% sure she has lung cancer. He wants her to have surgery to have that part of her lung removed, so now they are running a couple more tests to make sure her heart is ok for the surgery. Like an idiot, I googled the surgery, and it sounds pretty major with considerable recovery time. I’m broke, and trying to find another job, so I’m worried about how I will take care of her.
I told her that she needs to get the surgery, and I’ll figure everything out.
Does anyone here know someone that has had surgery for lung cancer before that might be able to give me a realistic idea of what to expect?
Are there any resources in the US that can help with this?

This post has been edited by Lady Bliss: 12 September 2021 - 02:35 PM

[amphibian]

How old is your mother? Is she on Medicare?

Medicare will pay for short term custodial care (daily living) if it is for recovering from a medical procedure. That's one possible avenue towards being paid a little bit to care for your mother.

Medicare will also pay for provision of at home nursing care or at home therapy (Alzheimer's patients often need them).

I urge you to contact the doctor to see if they have social workers who can help you through the process, Medicare to get the ball rolling, and your nearest Independent Living Center (https://www.ilru.org...ation-directory) for advocacy assistance to get her the care she needs.

I have a grandmother with Alzheimer's right now, living with my parents, and I provide unpaid respite care for my mother weekly. It is a ton of work, especially when bathroom skills and motions start to fail. It is not often pleasant, even with considerable resources, for a family to provide what she needs and care for her. Be very wary of caregiver burnout and it is often better to transition to the next stage while the current one is still somewhat ok.

[Lady Bliss]

Thanks for the ideas Amp, that gives me a good place to start. I hadn’t even thought about a social worker.
Right now her Alzheimer’s is manageable. She forgets things, and I have to keep track of her appointments, but she is taking care of herself. My main concern is the lung cancer, but the tips you have provided can definitely be applied to both.

She is 73, and is on Medicare, but I’m finding out that they don’t cover everything. She has a 3900 annual deductible, and each procedure has a 250 copay, which doesn’t sound like much unless you’re broke. Her only income is social security, which is 2100 a month, and I’m already supplementing that to keep her afloat. That must be hard what you are going through with your family, but great that you are helping out like you do. I am sure it is very appreciated.

This post has been edited by Lady Bliss: 12 September 2021 - 03:12 PM

[amphibian]

You may need to explore whether she's eligible for Medicaid, spend downs, and/or state assistance programs.

This is a lot to explore. I'm being upfront about this because I want you to be best situated as possible. State by state benefits may vary, especially in the states that attempt to limit healthcare coverage especially for senior citizens trying to live at home (they often want to shove them into nursing facilities that are not well staffed to deal with them due to USA healthcare and assisted living facility systems being real fucked up, even if that's more expensive and worse for the individual who needs care).

Part of this was my day job for a long time. The state by state and individual wrinkles are really important, so start with the doctor and social worker. You may even find direction at your county health or adult protective services (they don't want more clients, but they're quite happy to point people in the right directions and give contact numbers quickly).

I'm sorry about the lung cancer. I don't have direct experience with that and my clients dealing with that kind of thing were all post-operation for years, so their issues at hand weren't directly related anymore. I think you can talk to the doctor's office and get a second opinion or at least a call with the doctor regarding a deeper explanation of what will happen.

[Lady Bliss]

amphibian, on 12 September 2021 - 05:26 PM, said:

You may need to explore whether she's eligible for Medicaid, spend downs, and/or state assistance programs.

This is a lot to explore. I'm being upfront about this because I want you to be best situated as possible. State by state benefits may vary, especially in the states that attempt to limit healthcare coverage especially for senior citizens trying to live at home (they often want to shove them into nursing facilities that are not well staffed to deal with them due to USA healthcare and assisted living facility systems being real fucked up, even if that's more expensive and worse for the individual who needs care).

Part of this was my day job for a long time. The state by state and individual wrinkles are really important, so start with the doctor and social worker. You may even find direction at your county health or adult protective services (they don't want more clients, but they're quite happy to point people in the right directions and give contact numbers quickly).

I'm sorry about the lung cancer. I don't have direct experience with that and my clients dealing with that kind of thing were all post-operation for years, so their issues at hand weren't directly related anymore. I think you can talk to the doctor's office and get a second opinion or at least a call with the doctor regarding a deeper explanation of what will happen.

Thanks, I’m going to ask about the social worker right away.

[Abyss]

Briar King, on 14 September 2021 - 04:33 AM, said:

Umm I maybe panicking a tad these last few minutes. Nicholas looks like it is going to stall out right overhead or close to till Thursday possibly but the cone is now including parts of the Gulf. I'm going to hope like hell this isn't the course that plays out cause that will legit be terrible if we are trapped underneath it as it gets stronger.

Holy fuck!

It's pouring here.. wind coming in the AM.

Is the truck Are you safe?

[QuickTidal]

Fuck.

Norm Macdonald died.

Ten year cancer battle that no one publicly knew about.

[Tiste Simeon]

QuickTidal, on 14 September 2021 - 06:47 PM, said:

Fuck.

Norm Macdonald died.

Ten year cancer battle that no one publicly knew about.

Oh dang is that Norm MacDonald of the long moth joke?

[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 14 September 2021 - 06:47 PM, said:

Fuck.

Norm Macdonald died.

Ten year cancer battle that no one publicly knew about.

Damn.

[worry]

Despite kinda transitioning his wry curmudgeon/trollish tendencies a bit too far towards reactionary politics in recent years, Norm is a sure shot for one of the Top 2 Funniest People to Ever Live list.

[Malankazooie]

Damn that sucks. Norm MacDonald was hilarious. His comedic style and pacing was confusing and off-putting to the casual fan of comedy, but if you watched him roll on, most came away in awe of his brilliance. Sad day and a loss of a singular comedic talent.

[Tiste Simeon]

Minor irritation. Had an email from AVG saying "thanks for renewing AVG ultimate we'll charge you £99 on this date." I thought this was a spam email so I didn't think much of it. I had another one telling me it was now renewed a couple of days later. Couldn't see anything suspicious on my bank account so I still thought it was spam.

Today I checked my credit card and realised they charged me on there! I don't ever remember signing up for this or passing details to them. They are going to give me a refund and all but it took me a couple of hours on the phone with them trying to get it fixed before getting there...

[Lady Bliss]

Briar King, on 16 September 2021 - 04:16 PM, said:

Gabby Petito’s case is getting to me. Just watched the police press conference live.

Just fuck man.

I’ve been watching that too… the bf HAS to be guilty.