[Andorion]

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 14 September 2016 - 09:07 AM, said:

Ta-da!

https://elevenarches.org/

There was music, and light effects, and fireworks and all sorts. Actually was slightly a-la a TSO show!

Oh wow that sounds grand. I wonder if they will release a DVD later like bands do after tours.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Reminds me - TSO need to get their collective behinds back over here. Cracking live show

[Messremb]

Andorion, on 14 September 2016 - 09:23 AM, said:

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 14 September 2016 - 09:07 AM, said:

Ta-da!

https://elevenarches.org/

There was music, and light effects, and fireworks and all sorts. Actually was slightly a-la a TSO show!

Oh wow that sounds grand. I wonder if they will release a DVD later like bands do after tours.

I hope so - no way can I get up to Durham when I'm in Aberystwyth this weekend for a wedding

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

From what staff were saying it's planned as a permanent fixture each summer so it will be back next July

[QuickTidal]

We have good nights in which our daughter sleeps lots and my wife only has to be up 3 times to feed her....and we have bad nights in which she cluster feeds every hour or less and my wife gets very little sleep. Last night was a no-sleep night. I do what I can, but there is little I can do to help with no breasts or milk. Hell, we even had pumped milk in a bottle for her and she just would not sit still and drink while I held her...and only settled when my wife held her and fed her it. So I am BEYOND useless even when I CAN help.

[Messremb]

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 14 September 2016 - 12:41 PM, said:

From what staff were saying it's planned as a permanent fixture each summer so it will be back next July

Well I need to sort out my holidays for Apr2017-Mar2018 pretty sharpish so will bear it in mind. We did the Lakes this year so going North rather than to Cornwall which we've neglected for a few years may be a hard sell

[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 14 September 2016 - 12:46 PM, said:

We have good nights in which our daughter sleeps lots and my wife only has to be up 3 times to feed her....and we have bad nights in which she cluster feeds every hour or less and my wife gets very little sleep. Last night was a no-sleep night. I do what I can, but there is little I can do to help with no breasts or milk. Hell, we even had pumped milk in a bottle for her and she just would not sit still and drink while I held her...and only settled when my wife held her and fed her it. So I am BEYOND useless even when I CAN help.

For most babies, that's down to 'training'. The baby will get used to you bottle feeding her but it takes repetition and a certain level of stubborness from both parents plus ability to withstand the banshee-like physical and emotional assault that will follow but ends eventually.

If you can get into this pattern early it will be way easier on all three of you later.


As a general approach, doing things the harder way (wife does all the feeding) 'because it's easier' (one/both of you can't handle 5-10 minutes of unhappy baby for three or four occasions until she gets used to you bottle feeding her) tends to backfire in the long run (wife does all the feeding, you sleep because you might as well, she resents you, stabs you with a rectal thermometer in your sleep).

[amphibian]

Me being deaf is going to come in SOOOOO handy when it's kids time.

[Abyss]

amphibian, on 14 September 2016 - 02:31 PM, said:

Me being deaf is going to come in SOOOOO handy when it's kids time.

They assault all your other senses too.

[Aptorian]

The problem with being deaf is that you won't hear that "thunk" sound, when you're sitting on your couch and your child just fell off a table in the kitchen and split their head open like a water melon.

Meaning you'll be forced to constantly monitor them every 10 minutes.

[Abyss]

Apt, on 14 September 2016 - 02:42 PM, said:

The problem with being deaf is that you won't hear that "thunk" sound, when you're sitting on your couch and your child just fell off a table in the kitchen and split their head open like a water melon.

Meaning you'll be forced to constantly monitor them every 10 minutes.

...or, y'know, don't leave a baby on a table in a kitchen.


I'm astounded how many perfectly intelligent people i know have done this very thing. As tho babies just lay there like sacks of flour. All the babies survived, but even so, how does this seem like a good idea to anyone?

[Tiste Simeon]

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 14 September 2016 - 06:27 AM, said:

I'm sorry there isn't enough drama for you.... I just don't see that it effects anyone else or is anyone else's business.

The sensible and mature thing to do is absolutely BOMBARD your friend with pictures of the two of you having fun together.

[Mezla PigDog]

QuickTidal, on 14 September 2016 - 12:46 PM, said:

We have good nights in which our daughter sleeps lots and my wife only has to be up 3 times to feed her....and we have bad nights in which she cluster feeds every hour or less and my wife gets very little sleep. Last night was a no-sleep night. I do what I can, but there is little I can do to help with no breasts or milk. Hell, we even had pumped milk in a bottle for her and she just would not sit still and drink while I held her...and only settled when my wife held her and fed her it. So I am BEYOND useless even when I CAN help.

It won't last. As soon as you get used to something they move on. Just try to hold on to your sanity for the first 2 to 3 months Keep trying with the bottle and also take a step back now and then to consider just how important breast milk for every feed is to your family. If it's super important then fine but if not then add in the odd formula feed to give Mrs QT a break. Expressed milk seems like a break but every feed still revolves around boobs that way!

My groove is messed by waiting in all day for a delivery. BOOOORING.

This post has been edited by Mezla PigDog: 14 September 2016 - 02:55 PM

[QuickTidal]

Mezla PigDog, on 14 September 2016 - 02:53 PM, said:

QuickTidal, on 14 September 2016 - 12:46 PM, said:

We have good nights in which our daughter sleeps lots and my wife only has to be up 3 times to feed her....and we have bad nights in which she cluster feeds every hour or less and my wife gets very little sleep. Last night was a no-sleep night. I do what I can, but there is little I can do to help with no breasts or milk. Hell, we even had pumped milk in a bottle for her and she just would not sit still and drink while I held her...and only settled when my wife held her and fed her it. So I am BEYOND useless even when I CAN help.

It won't last. As soon as you get used to something they move on. Just try to hold on to your sanity for the first 2 to 3 months Keep trying with the bottle and also take a step back now and then to consider just how important breast milk for every feed is to your family. If it's super important then fine but if not then add in the odd formula feed to give Mrs QT a break. Expressed milk seems like a break but every feed still revolves around boobs that way!

Yeah, we are trying to avoid formula (at my wife's insistence, not mine...since I was allergic to my mom's breastmilk I was raised on formula so I'm much less averse to it), but I have asked her to try to pump more often so I have the option to help when the time comes.

I have more of an issue when I'm driving her somewhere (we did this the other night when my wife drove her parents home from her dad's bday celebrations and I drove the baby in our car) alone and she starts crying for boob....she will literally scream and cry till she chokes herself on her own saliva and soak herself with sweat and tears. I nearly had a mental breakdown trying to figure out what to do. I was seriously afraid she was going to choke on her own saliva. My wife actually had to come and do a feed in the back seat on the side of the road. And I was discombobulated the rest of the night.

Oh and she smiled a real smile at both my sister-in-law and my wife...and nada for me yet.

Sigh.

But yeah, the breastfeeding thing is our biggest issue. Everything else with the kid is a dream so far. If we could get the breastfeeding sorted into a regime, it might be better.

We've also been informed that if I try to bottle feed her my wife has to be FAR away (like two rooms over or out of the house entirely), as she can SMELL her mother and won't take the bottle from the father if the mother is in smelling distance. WTF?

[Mezla PigDog]

Nah just keep practising with the bottle. Best chance is when she's gone a while between feeds so she is as hungry as possible. There's no mystery to it, go with common sense.

My delivery arrived and it's bloody flat pack! I thought it was pre-assembled. Goddamnit.

[Abyss]

Mezla PigDog, on 14 September 2016 - 02:53 PM, said:

It won't last. As soon as you get used to something they move on. Just try to hold on to your sanity for the first 2 to 3 months Keep trying with the bottle and also take a step back now and then to consider just how important breast milk for every feed is to your family. If it's super important then fine but if not then add in the odd formula feed to give Mrs QT a break. Expressed milk seems like a break but every feed still revolves around boobs that way!

QuickTidal, on 14 September 2016 - 03:13 PM, said:

Yeah, we are trying to avoid formula (at my wife's insistence, not mine...since I was allergic to my mom's breastmilk I was raised on formula so I'm much less averse to it), but I have asked her to try to pump more often so I have the option to help when the time comes.

There's an argument in favor of getting babies used to multiple people, ways of feeding and breastmilk + formula, but the choice is massively personal and utterly loaded.
You're not restricted to one thing just because that's how you started. If your wife is breaking a couple of weeks or months in, the occassional formula 'top up' can help.

Quote

I have more of an issue when I'm driving her somewhere (we did this the other night when my wife drove her parents home from her dad's bday celebrations and I drove the baby in our car) alone and she starts crying for boob....she will literally scream and cry till she chokes herself on her own saliva and soak herself with sweat and tears. I nearly had a mental breakdown trying to figure out what to do. I was seriously afraid she was going to choke on her own saliva. My wife actually had to come and do a feed in the back seat on the side of the road. And I was discombobulated the rest of the night.

I vaguely recall reading somewhere that a crying baby is more distracting than anything else a driver might contend with.
Supposedly they can't actually choke on their own saliva - it just sounds that way.

Quote

Oh and she smiled a real smile at both my sister-in-law and my wife...and nada for me yet.

Sigh.

Don't stress that. Smiles at this stage are fairly meaningless mimicry and she probably thinks your sister-in-law is your wife given the similarity in fuzzy blob visuals, smell and voice.

Quote

But yeah, the breastfeeding thing is our biggest issue. Everything else with the kid is a dream so far. If we could get the breastfeeding sorted into a regime, it might be better.

It takes work. When you're sleep deprived, stressed and just adjusting, that's the last thing you want to do. But you kind of have to make the choice. Or don't (see above re 'it's easier').

Quote

We've also been informed that if I try to bottle feed her my wife has to be FAR away (like two rooms over or out of the house entirely), as she can SMELL her mother and won't take the bottle from the father if the mother is in smelling distance. WTF?

Every baby is different. It's one possible reason. Otoh, enough partners feed babies with the breastfeeding mom right there next to them.

More likely she's figured out that if she screams for a minute or two she gets comfy mommy boob delivery as opposed to that other less comfy blob (you) with the plastic thingy.

On an instinctual reactive level, babies are far far smarter than you expect them to be.

Mezla PigDog, on 14 September 2016 - 03:37 PM, said:

Nah just keep practising with the bottle. Best chance is when she's gone a while between feeds so she is as hungry as possible. There's no mystery to it, go with common sense.

This.

[Mezla PigDog]

High Geek of Crawfish, on 14 September 2016 - 04:31 PM, said:

Oh I'm so beyond pissed/panicked... I got rejected by Dr today as did one of the crippled old men from old Dr. Appearently cause we both pay cash and have no insurance the think we are Dr shopping his attorney said. Fuck me... Trying a new Dr but he's an hr away and they only get further so I hope this 2nd doesn't assume the same.

I almost wish I would ev started shopping this yr the way I've been bent over and fucked in the ass. I can't even walk right this past 4 days I hurt so bad.

Is nobody obliged to provide you with healthcare?

[amphibian]

Can you go on Medicaid, BK? I did for a short while to help out with some super high medical bills I was facing.

This post has been edited by amphibian: 14 September 2016 - 05:38 PM

[worry]

QuickTidal, on 14 September 2016 - 03:13 PM, said:

Oh and she smiled a real smile at both my sister-in-law and my wife...and nada for me yet.

Sigh.

If you're not working with your best material, babies can tell. You need to workshop that stuff with outside babies and come back with like a solid 5 minute set.
Save

[Lady Bliss]

I feel like I am getting screwed over at work. The other "team" has just taken away one of my projects after cutting me out of the loop on meetings and emails.