[Maark Abbott]

I'm STILL waiting for a t-shirt to clear customs. Royal Mail haven't been handed it.

Is there any way to contact customs with a shipping number and find out exactly what's going on?

[QuickTidal]

Prince died. Only 57. The guy was iconic.

[Macros]

phone call from the boss today, he seems to want to renegotiate my rate, now that I take the van most days instead of my car.
ok, that sounds fair enough, the he suggested a figure he'd be aiming at and I laughed at him, told him I'd call in tomorrow to chat to him.

I can see this conversation ending with me giving my notice. Too many guys here are willing to bend over and take it from employers, all the bosses of irish companies seem to think they're doing you a favour for evening giving you a job and try to screw everyone, in the belief that people are too scared to walk, that there's no one else better out there to work for.

Well I gots news for ya fucker, theres plenty of work out there, I gets calls at least once a week offering me more money than you touted on the phone today, good luck!

[Aptorian]

QuickTidal, on 21 April 2016 - 05:22 PM, said:

Prince died. Only 57. The guy was iconic.

WTF? First I heard of this,

Chyna, Prince... now I have to spend the week wondering who the superstitious third famous death is going to be.

[Messremb]

Maark Abbott, on 21 April 2016 - 10:55 AM, said:

I'm STILL waiting for a t-shirt to clear customs. Royal Mail haven't been handed it.

Is there any way to contact customs with a shipping number and find out exactly what's going on?

None at all. Delays of 6 weeks are not unheard of I'm sorry to say. HMRC have no customer facing and we at RM only get it once they're through with it

[Abyss]

Apt, on 21 April 2016 - 07:05 PM, said:

QuickTidal, on 21 April 2016 - 05:22 PM, said:

Prince died. Only 57. The guy was iconic.

WTF? First I heard of this,

Chyna, Prince... now I have to spend the week wondering who the superstitious third famous death is going to be.

Following on Bowie, Shandling and Frey... Wow 2016 is a bastard.

[Maark Abbott]

Messremb, on 22 April 2016 - 12:36 AM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 21 April 2016 - 10:55 AM, said:

I'm STILL waiting for a t-shirt to clear customs. Royal Mail haven't been handed it.

Is there any way to contact customs with a shipping number and find out exactly what's going on?

None at all. Delays of 6 weeks are not unheard of I'm sorry to say. HMRC have no customer facing and we at RM only get it once they're through with it

Fair cop. Hopefully it gets to me before I go on holiday to the south!<br><br>EDIT: One of the postroom guys actually said this yesterday (we get international mail at work sometimes). I suppose it's been delayed to check over. Ah well.

This post has been edited by Maark Abbott: 22 April 2016 - 06:21 AM

[Andorion]

The heat finally got to me. Sick from morning, plus dizzy.

Stuck at home now, guess work has to go on hold

[JPK]

A close friend of mine was hit by a car while on his motorcycle today. He's in the ICU with a broken arm, shattered knee, and major damage to his pelvis.

On the plus side, there was no damage to his brain or heart, and the docs say he will walk again.

Fuck today.

[Maark Abbott]

The Incredible Kitsu, on 22 April 2016 - 08:22 AM, said:

A close friend of mine was hit by a car while on his motorcycle today. He's in the ICU with a broken arm, shattered knee, and major damage to his pelvis.

On the plus side, there was no damage to his brain or heart, and the docs say he will walk again.

Fuck today.

It definitely sucks but in the long run the prognosis is pretty decent. Glad to hear he'll be up and about again at some stage.

[Traveller]

The Incredible Kitsu, on 22 April 2016 - 08:22 AM, said:

A close friend of mine was hit by a car while on his motorcycle today. He's in the ICU with a broken arm, shattered knee, and major damage to his pelvis.

On the plus side, there was no damage to his brain or heart, and the docs say he will walk again.

Fuck today.

Broken pelvis can cause all sorts of lifelong problems if it becomes destabilised. Hope all turns out well.

[QuickTidal]

When we tell customers there's a problem with their files and their answer is "We have used these same files at other places and never had a problem"....and I feel like screaming. Guess what? The fact that you don't have problems with them PROBABLY means those other places fixed them on their end and didn't tell you. We are not about to do that for you for free. It never fails. I get this sentence from customers at LEAST once a day.

[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 22 April 2016 - 01:24 PM, said:

When we tell customers there's a problem with their files and their answer is "We have used these same files at other places and never had a problem"....and I feel like screaming. Guess what? The fact that you don't have problems with them PROBABLY means those other places fixed them on their end and didn't tell you. We are not about to do that for you for free. It never fails. I get this sentence from customers at LEAST once a day.

next time try "Well yo momma sure had a problem." and see how that works.

[JPK]

Traveller, on 22 April 2016 - 11:02 AM, said:

The Incredible Kitsu, on 22 April 2016 - 08:22 AM, said:

A close friend of mine was hit by a car while on his motorcycle today. He's in the ICU with a broken arm, shattered knee, and major damage to his pelvis.

On the plus side, there was no damage to his brain or heart, and the docs say he will walk again.

Fuck today.

Broken pelvis can cause all sorts of lifelong problems if it becomes destabilised. Hope all turns out well.

Yeah, the damage there was... extensive. He's got a long road ahead of him. He's a really active and fit guy. If there's anyone I know who will put on the effort to recover from something like this, it's him.

[worry]

Michelle McNamara died. True crime blogger/writer, and Patton Oswalt's wife. She ran the True Crime Diary blog for a while, and it's fully of great, creepy, sometimes harrowing stuff. She wrote something on a horrifying murder in my neck of the woods a few years back (a very worthy read): http://www.truecrime...ge=cases&id=157

[Loki]

An internet acquaintance is going through a rough break-up/divorce and I somehow took on the main role of moral support and advice provider.

Which has been mentally exhausting for me since I don't do emotions or feelings and trying to empathise or sympathise with someone takes a massively concentrated effort on my part.

That said, my situation isn't anywhere near as bad as theirs so I'm hardly going to ask them to stop coming to me for support.

It's one of those situations where the wonderful, charming, everybody loves, friendly partner is really a silver-tongued abusive shithead who can act better than any Hollywood performer.
And since everyone thinks the partner is wonderful my friend feels completely isolated. Everytime they would try to tell someone they were told that they must have 'misunderstood' or that they were being 'too sensitive'. Or the more common 'Oh, that doesn't sound like them at all. Are you sure?' Even better, when they mentioned it to their parents their mother said 'Marriage can be difficult. Are you sure you're trying hard enough?'

In the end, they finally took my constant advice and left. But because they were devoid of any real life help they had to lean pretty heavily on me for support which I'm not complaining about but it is tortuously frustrating to want to help someone who is on another continent. You can't run interference or literally put them in your car and drive them away from the situation.

Basically, I convinced them to reach out to an old friend (over the course of the relationship they lost all of their own friends except those that had become friends with their partner as well) and just take a risk on telling them everything that had/was happening and ask if they could help. The friend lives in New York (my friend lived in Arizona) and told them they could have their spare room for three months (the friend is expecting their first kid and their mother-in-law is moving in once the baby is born). The friend spoke to a friend and found out that a cousin of a friend of a friend's brother (I had to recheck the pm to make sure I got that right!) was going to be driving through Phoenix and on their way to New York and was happy to have my friend join them for the ride. They were even happy to go twin share at motels if they couldn't afford to leave.

So, my friend waited until their partner went to work before packing a stranger's car with all their belongings and leaving.

I guess reception is pretty shit because I didn't hear from them for days and was starting to really worry (and hating the fact I had no way of checking if they were okay) and I finally got a facebook pm to say they made it safely to NY.

But now they are getting a world of stupid thrown at them because 1) they ran out on their partner, 2) how could they do this to J?! 3) this is why divorce is so high in America, people just don't put enough effort into their relationships 4) did you even think about anyone else before you decided to run off to the city?
As well as having to deal with accusations of running off to be with a former lover ie the one who is about to become a parent, is happily married, and hasn't even spoken to my friend for years until they called asking for help.

How shit must your friends and family be that the only person you can turn to for help is a random internet friend in another country who you have never met, don't even know their last name or even what they look like, and, until rather recently, didn't even realise they were female.

That said, clearly they used to have decent friends ie the friend in NY. So not all people are shit. Just a lot of them.

And what's even worse is almost the exact same thing is happening with another internet friend only in this case they have immigration issues to contend with too. And until those issue are resolved they can't work so they are completely relying on the compassion of people who they originally only knew from playing mmo's with them.

I really wish there was something more practical I could do to help them.

(Edit: And I just stepped in toddler shit. Brilliant.)

This post has been edited by Loki: 23 April 2016 - 03:56 AM

[Andorion]

Loki, on 23 April 2016 - 03:52 AM, said:

An internet acquaintance is going through a rough break-up/divorce and I somehow took on the main role of moral support and advice provider.

Which has been mentally exhausting for me since I don't do emotions or feelings and trying to empathise or sympathise with someone takes a massively concentrated effort on my part.

That said, my situation isn't anywhere near as bad as theirs so I'm hardly going to ask them to stop coming to me for support.

It's one of those situations where the wonderful, charming, everybody loves, friendly partner is really a silver-tongued abusive shithead who can act better than any Hollywood performer.
And since everyone thinks the partner is wonderful my friend feels completely isolated. Everytime they would try to tell someone they were told that they must have 'misunderstood' or that they were being 'too sensitive'. Or the more common 'Oh, that doesn't sound like them at all. Are you sure?' Even better, when they mentioned it to their parents their mother said 'Marriage can be difficult. Are you sure you're trying hard enough?'

In the end, they finally took my constant advice and left. But because they were devoid of any real life help they had to lean pretty heavily on me for support which I'm not complaining about but it is tortuously frustrating to want to help someone who is on another continent. You can't run interference or literally put them in your car and drive them away from the situation.

Basically, I convinced them to reach out to an old friend (over the course of the relationship they lost all of their own friends except those that had become friends with their partner as well) and just take a risk on telling them everything that had/was happening and ask if they could help. The friend lives in New York (my friend lived in Arizona) and told them they could have their spare room for three months (the friend is expecting their first kid and their mother-in-law is moving in once the baby is born). The friend spoke to a friend and found out that a cousin of a friend of a friend's brother (I had to recheck the pm to make sure I got that right!) was going to be driving through Phoenix and on their way to New York and was happy to have my friend join them for the ride. They were even happy to go twin share at motels if they couldn't afford to leave.

So, my friend waited until their partner went to work before packing a stranger's car with all their belongings and leaving.

I guess reception is pretty shit because I didn't hear from them for days and was starting to really worry (and hating the fact I had no way of checking if they were okay) and I finally got a facebook pm to say they made it safely to NY.

But now they are getting a world of stupid thrown at them because 1) they ran out on their partner, 2) how could they do this to J?! 3) this is why divorce is so high in America, people just don't put enough effort into their relationships 4) did you even think about anyone else before you decided to run off to the city?
As well as having to deal with accusations of running off to be with a former lover ie the one who is about to become a parent, is happily married, and hasn't even spoken to my friend for years until they called asking for help.

How shit must your friends and family be that the only person you can turn to for help is a random internet friend in another country who you have never met, don't even know their last name or even what they look like, and, until rather recently, didn't even realise they were female.

That said, clearly they used to have decent friends ie the friend in NY. So not all people are shit. Just a lot of them.

And what's even worse is almost the exact same thing is happening with another internet friend only in this case they have immigration issues to contend with too. And until those issue are resolved they can't work so they are completely relying on the compassion of people who they originally only knew from playing mmo's with them.

I really wish there something more practical I could do to help them.

That really sucks. How could his own family be so out of touch?

[Loki]

Andorion, on 23 April 2016 - 03:56 AM, said:

Loki, on 23 April 2016 - 03:52 AM, said:

An internet acquaintance is going through a rough break-up/divorce and I somehow took on the main role of moral support and advice provider.

Which has been mentally exhausting for me since I don't do emotions or feelings and trying to empathise or sympathise with someone takes a massively concentrated effort on my part.

That said, my situation isn't anywhere near as bad as theirs so I'm hardly going to ask them to stop coming to me for support.

It's one of those situations where the wonderful, charming, everybody loves, friendly partner is really a silver-tongued abusive shithead who can act better than any Hollywood performer.
And since everyone thinks the partner is wonderful my friend feels completely isolated. Everytime they would try to tell someone they were told that they must have 'misunderstood' or that they were being 'too sensitive'. Or the more common 'Oh, that doesn't sound like them at all. Are you sure?' Even better, when they mentioned it to their parents their mother said 'Marriage can be difficult. Are you sure you're trying hard enough?'

In the end, they finally took my constant advice and left. But because they were devoid of any real life help they had to lean pretty heavily on me for support which I'm not complaining about but it is tortuously frustrating to want to help someone who is on another continent. You can't run interference or literally put them in your car and drive them away from the situation.

Basically, I convinced them to reach out to an old friend (over the course of the relationship they lost all of their own friends except those that had become friends with their partner as well) and just take a risk on telling them everything that had/was happening and ask if they could help. The friend lives in New York (my friend lived in Arizona) and told them they could have their spare room for three months (the friend is expecting their first kid and their mother-in-law is moving in once the baby is born). The friend spoke to a friend and found out that a cousin of a friend of a friend's brother (I had to recheck the pm to make sure I got that right!) was going to be driving through Phoenix and on their way to New York and was happy to have my friend join them for the ride. They were even happy to go twin share at motels if they couldn't afford to leave.

So, my friend waited until their partner went to work before packing a stranger's car with all their belongings and leaving.

I guess reception is pretty shit because I didn't hear from them for days and was starting to really worry (and hating the fact I had no way of checking if they were okay) and I finally got a facebook pm to say they made it safely to NY.

But now they are getting a world of stupid thrown at them because 1) they ran out on their partner, 2) how could they do this to J?! 3) this is why divorce is so high in America, people just don't put enough effort into their relationships 4) did you even think about anyone else before you decided to run off to the city?
As well as having to deal with accusations of running off to be with a former lover ie the one who is about to become a parent, is happily married, and hasn't even spoken to my friend for years until they called asking for help.

How shit must your friends and family be that the only person you can turn to for help is a random internet friend in another country who you have never met, don't even know their last name or even what they look like, and, until rather recently, didn't even realise they were female.

That said, clearly they used to have decent friends ie the friend in NY. So not all people are shit. Just a lot of them.

And what's even worse is almost the exact same thing is happening with another internet friend only in this case they have immigration issues to contend with too. And until those issue are resolved they can't work so they are completely relying on the compassion of people who they originally only knew from playing mmo's with them.

I really wish there something more practical I could do to help them.

That really sucks. How could his own family be so out of touch?

Probably for the usual bullshit reasons - But men can't be victims of domestic violence. How could she be a threat, she's half your size! Start acting like a 'real' man. I can't imagine her doing any of those things therefore you must be mistaken. Blah blah fucking blah.

Edit: And in my other friend's case, her husband's family actually tried to warn her off marrying him but he had told her how horrible they were and how they made up stories about him etc so she didn't listen to them.

This post has been edited by Loki: 23 April 2016 - 04:11 AM

[Andorion]

Loki, on 23 April 2016 - 04:07 AM, said:

Andorion, on 23 April 2016 - 03:56 AM, said:

Loki, on 23 April 2016 - 03:52 AM, said:

An internet acquaintance is going through a rough break-up/divorce and I somehow took on the main role of moral support and advice provider.

Which has been mentally exhausting for me since I don't do emotions or feelings and trying to empathise or sympathise with someone takes a massively concentrated effort on my part.

That said, my situation isn't anywhere near as bad as theirs so I'm hardly going to ask them to stop coming to me for support.

It's one of those situations where the wonderful, charming, everybody loves, friendly partner is really a silver-tongued abusive shithead who can act better than any Hollywood performer.
And since everyone thinks the partner is wonderful my friend feels completely isolated. Everytime they would try to tell someone they were told that they must have 'misunderstood' or that they were being 'too sensitive'. Or the more common 'Oh, that doesn't sound like them at all. Are you sure?' Even better, when they mentioned it to their parents their mother said 'Marriage can be difficult. Are you sure you're trying hard enough?'

In the end, they finally took my constant advice and left. But because they were devoid of any real life help they had to lean pretty heavily on me for support which I'm not complaining about but it is tortuously frustrating to want to help someone who is on another continent. You can't run interference or literally put them in your car and drive them away from the situation.

Basically, I convinced them to reach out to an old friend (over the course of the relationship they lost all of their own friends except those that had become friends with their partner as well) and just take a risk on telling them everything that had/was happening and ask if they could help. The friend lives in New York (my friend lived in Arizona) and told them they could have their spare room for three months (the friend is expecting their first kid and their mother-in-law is moving in once the baby is born). The friend spoke to a friend and found out that a cousin of a friend of a friend's brother (I had to recheck the pm to make sure I got that right!) was going to be driving through Phoenix and on their way to New York and was happy to have my friend join them for the ride. They were even happy to go twin share at motels if they couldn't afford to leave.

So, my friend waited until their partner went to work before packing a stranger's car with all their belongings and leaving.

I guess reception is pretty shit because I didn't hear from them for days and was starting to really worry (and hating the fact I had no way of checking if they were okay) and I finally got a facebook pm to say they made it safely to NY.

But now they are getting a world of stupid thrown at them because 1) they ran out on their partner, 2) how could they do this to J?! 3) this is why divorce is so high in America, people just don't put enough effort into their relationships 4) did you even think about anyone else before you decided to run off to the city?
As well as having to deal with accusations of running off to be with a former lover ie the one who is about to become a parent, is happily married, and hasn't even spoken to my friend for years until they called asking for help.

How shit must your friends and family be that the only person you can turn to for help is a random internet friend in another country who you have never met, don't even know their last name or even what they look like, and, until rather recently, didn't even realise they were female.

That said, clearly they used to have decent friends ie the friend in NY. So not all people are shit. Just a lot of them.

And what's even worse is almost the exact same thing is happening with another internet friend only in this case they have immigration issues to contend with too. And until those issue are resolved they can't work so they are completely relying on the compassion of people who they originally only knew from playing mmo's with them.

I really wish there something more practical I could do to help them.

That really sucks. How could his own family be so out of touch?

Probably for the usual bullshit reasons - But men can't be victims of domestic violence. How could she be a threat, she's half your size! Start acting like a 'real' man. I can't imagine her doing any of those things therefore you must be mistaken. Blah blah fucking blah.

Edit: And in my other friend's case, her husband's family actually tried to warn her off marrying him but he had told her how horrible they were and how they made up stories about him etc so she didn't listen to them.

It seems to me that he lacks relationships based on open and frank communication. Which is very sad. Which is also why he relies on you.

Given that he left home, how would that impact the divorce?

[Loki]

Andorion, on 23 April 2016 - 04:12 AM, said:

It seems to me that he lacks relationships based on open and frank communication. Which is very sad. Which is also why he relies on you.

Given that he left home, how would that impact the divorce?

I'm not sure. It's really hard for men to prove that they're a domestic violence victim. We've been mostly talking about getting himself back to a good place and figuring out what he wants moving forward from here etc. But he did mention giving his lawyer copies of texts and emails between him and his wife that the lawyer thinks will be very useful.