[Gust Hubb]

I dunno, just anyone with a modicum of search prowess that knows I use this site could find people talking about divorce and whittle it down quickly.

[worry]

If that happens we'll all rise up one at a time, like the end of Spartacus, and shout "I am getting divorced!"

[Una]

Gust Hubb, on 07 April 2016 - 12:38 AM, said:

The lawyer claws are coming out. She has consulted with a lawyer who seems to have told her she can get more. Like me, hasn't hired the attorney yet but I do not foresee the mediation appointment going well at all. $120 down the drain...

Not necessarily a bad thing. We got quite a bit done during mediation, but it was me on my side with my lawyer and him on his side with his lawyer and the mediator at the head of the table. Each side having representation reigned things in a bit because each side knew if they stepped too far out of line, there was someone on the other side knowledgeable enough to call them on it. It was stressful for sure. I threw up during the lunch break. But counter-intuitively, having that many lawyers in the room kept things reasonably respectful. There were certain points where you had the mediator make the point that such-and-such an arrangement would be considered fair under the law or that such-and-such an arrangement is considered in the children's best interest by current standards and our lawyers sort of nodding at us.

If it's still an option, try rebooking the mediator for a later dater after you have both had a chance to retain your respective attorneys. Not because you are going to be clawing one another, but because you both deserve to be fully informed of your legal situation and the ramifications of whatever you end up agreeing to. It's difficult to arrive at a fair settlement otherwise.

[EmperorMagus]

Gust Hubb, on 07 April 2016 - 12:38 AM, said:

The lawyer claws are coming out. She has consulted with a lawyer who seems to have told her she can get more. Like me, hasn't hired the attorney yet but I do not foresee the mediation appointment going well at all. $120 down the drain...

I also am kind of worried about venting here. You guys think her lawyer could find this site, find me, and start using this all against me? Nothing like a hearty dose of paranoia to wash down the despair.

GH, I just want to say that every time you post about your situation I want to say something to encourage you, unfortunately, my words fail me most of the time.
I hope this ends quickly and turns out okay for you.

[Tiste Simeon]

Last day of holidays always suck...

[Egwene]

Gust Hubb, on 07 April 2016 - 12:38 AM, said:

The lawyer claws are coming out. She has consulted with a lawyer who seems to have told her she can get more. Like me, hasn't hired the attorney yet but I do not foresee the mediation appointment going well at all. $120 down the drain...

I also am kind of worried about venting here. You guys think her lawyer could find this site, find me, and start using this all against me? Nothing like a hearty dose of paranoia to wash down the despair.

I have not read all your posts, but certainly the ones I have seen haven't contained anything I would consider could be taken against you. There is no law against talking to friends about your worries.

As a general rule though... I do think that anything anyone posts on the internet should be written bearing in mind that anyone might get to read it.

[Slow Ben]

EmperorMagus, on 07 April 2016 - 05:06 AM, said:

Gust Hubb, on 07 April 2016 - 12:38 AM, said:

The lawyer claws are coming out. She has consulted with a lawyer who seems to have told her she can get more. Like me, hasn't hired the attorney yet but I do not foresee the mediation appointment going well at all. $120 down the drain...

I also am kind of worried about venting here. You guys think her lawyer could find this site, find me, and start using this all against me? Nothing like a hearty dose of paranoia to wash down the despair.

GH, I just want to say that every time you post about your situation I want to say something to encourage you, unfortunately, my words fail me most of the time.
I hope this ends quickly and turns out okay for you.

Ditto Gust.

[Aptorian]

So, I'm going to go against the grain here and do the opposite of what I am seeing above. Gust at this point you really don't need support. You need a kick in the ass.

From day one, you revealed you were getting a divorce, I and many others warned you that you were going to need a lawyer. You needed one then and you need one now. Not next week. Not after all other avenues have been explored. Not if and when you can't come to some agreement with a woman that you trying to cut all financial ties to.

You are worrying about 120 dollars? You are relying on your wife being honest with you. That she hasn't been soliciting a lawyer for months. If you don't get this divorce settled properly, if you let things slide, 120 dollars is going to become 1,200 or 12,000 dollars a year. Every year. If she manages to capitalize on your education and future employment.

Stop being nice. You need to divest yourself from what you had and look at what you will be left with afterwards.

[Gust Hubb]

I just broke out the lawyer claws. I am going to bring mine to the mediation appointment. I liked that idea. I gave my ex one last chance last night to back down, trying to explain what I have always said : I only have so much money and I can only give you so much. This will not change; please don't turn this into a situation where we burn up on legal fees to reach the same conclusion.

She would not listen. Time is up. Welcome to lawyer run divorce. Hope you can afford it...

[Grimjust Bearegular]

Morgoth, on 04 April 2016 - 12:12 PM, said:

Grimjust Bearegular, on 04 April 2016 - 08:49 AM, said:

So, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years on Saturday. I'm not sure if it was the right decision. He's a great guy, and there was no BIG reason that made me break up with him, I just haven't been able to appreciate him and the things he does for quite some time. I've been irritable, quarrelsome, interpreting everything he says and does in the worst way, and generally been on the road to becoming a real bitch. I hated the person I was turning into. His niceness made me angry because I felt like I couldn't reciprocate properly, and the guilt I was feeling over being an inadequate girlfriend made me even angrier. I just couldn't take it any more.

I've been a "girlfriend" for half my life, I'm not sure I know who I am without that label...

Gotta find a new place to live right quick, but everything is so fucking expensive! Oh, you want NOK 10 000 for a 7 square meter room? Yeah, nah.

At least you can move closer to the store now.

This is true.

Macros, on 04 April 2016 - 02:51 PM, said:

Just move into the store.
Turn your life into a sitcom

It'll be the new Friends, but it'll be called The Thing that Lives in the Basement.

Slow Ben, on 05 April 2016 - 02:07 AM, said:

Grimjust Bearegular, on 04 April 2016 - 08:49 AM, said:

So, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years on Saturday. I'm not sure if it was the right decision. He's a great guy, and there was no BIG reason that made me break up with him, I just haven't been able to appreciate him and the things he does for quite some time. I've been irritable, quarrelsome, interpreting everything he says and does in the worst way, and generally been on the road to becoming a real bitch. I hated the person I was turning into. His niceness made me angry because I felt like I couldn't reciprocate properly, and the guilt I was feeling over being an inadequate girlfriend made me even angrier. I just couldn't take it any more.

I've been a "girlfriend" for half my life, I'm not sure I know who I am without that label...

Gotta find a new place to live right quick, but everything is so fucking expensive! Oh, you want NOK 10 000 for a 7 square meter room? Yeah, nah.

Thats a hard thing to do, ending a relationship just because you know its the right thing to do. Awesome that you had the guts to do it.

Thanks It hasn't been easy... a lot of crying and stuff. Started packing up my things today.

[Andorion]

So as if the 38C heat wasn't enough, as if the exhaustion wasn't enough, I get yelled at for half an hour for things which are not only not my fault, they are not even my responsibility.

[Abyss]

Andorion, on 07 April 2016 - 06:22 PM, said:

So as if the 38C heat wasn't enough, as if the exhaustion wasn't enough, I get yelled at for half an hour for things which are not only not my fault, they are not even my responsibility.

So why'd you take it?

[Andorion]

Abyss, on 07 April 2016 - 06:24 PM, said:

Andorion, on 07 April 2016 - 06:22 PM, said:

So as if the 38C heat wasn't enough, as if the exhaustion wasn't enough, I get yelled at for half an hour for things which are not only not my fault, they are not even my responsibility.

So why'd you take it?

Just wanted to get out of there really, too tired, too exasperated, and I have fought this battle before, too no avail.

Sometimes family sucks

[Abyss]

Andorion, on 07 April 2016 - 06:38 PM, said:

Abyss, on 07 April 2016 - 06:24 PM, said:

Andorion, on 07 April 2016 - 06:22 PM, said:

So as if the 38C heat wasn't enough, as if the exhaustion wasn't enough, I get yelled at for half an hour for things which are not only not my fault, they are not even my responsibility.

So why'd you take it?

Just wanted to get out of there really, too tired, too exasperated, and I have fought this battle before, too no avail.

Sometimes family sucks

Back down and it tends to repeat.

Usually a calm

"Is this my fault?" followed by

"So why are you yelling at me about it?"

shuts that down hard.

[worry]

Grimjust Bearegular, on 07 April 2016 - 06:15 PM, said:

Macros, on 04 April 2016 - 02:51 PM, said:

Just move into the store.
Turn your life into a sitcom

It'll be the new Friends, but it'll be called The Thing that Lives in the Basement.

Now we're talkin'!

[Puck]

So I went to the doctor and asked for a nose spray against hayfever symptoms because I can't really eat the pills like they're candy. What I got was something against asthma. I am so freaking tired of docs who don't know what they're doing. Of course they wouldn't, with taking barely two minutes time for each patient, AND not letting me even talk. So I'm basically left with medicating myself again.

I've had two appointments today. With neither, despite having an appointment, did I get to talk for more than a minute. Maybe two. Something's clearly wrong with the system.

[amphibian]

Grimjust Bearegular, on 07 April 2016 - 06:15 PM, said:

Thanks It hasn't been easy... a lot of crying and stuff. Started packing up my things today.

Hey, you are getting on the move quickly and doing things the right way. Crying is ok. We're here if you wanna vent online or talk about anything else.

[Andorion]

Abyss, on 07 April 2016 - 06:57 PM, said:

Andorion, on 07 April 2016 - 06:38 PM, said:

Abyss, on 07 April 2016 - 06:24 PM, said:

Andorion, on 07 April 2016 - 06:22 PM, said:

So as if the 38C heat wasn't enough, as if the exhaustion wasn't enough, I get yelled at for half an hour for things which are not only not my fault, they are not even my responsibility.

So why'd you take it?

Just wanted to get out of there really, too tired, too exasperated, and I have fought this battle before, too no avail.

Sometimes family sucks

Back down and it tends to repeat.

Usually a calm

"Is this my fault?" followed by

"So why are you yelling at me about it?"

shuts that down hard.

This is what my brother does... myabe I am too nice?

Also can you sprain your ankle in your sleep? How else did I go to bed with a normal ankle and wake up with a painful one?

[Slow Ben]

Your ankle or your heel?

[Abyss]

Quote

Also can you sprain your ankle in your sleep? How else did I go to bed with a normal ankle and wake up with a painful one?

Malaysian anklebiter spider. Very deadly.