[amphibian]

Gnaw, on 14 August 2015 - 08:21 PM, said:

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full face keyboard smash.



I just found out that when my Dad and Mom bought this place in 94 they failed to notice that the neighbor owns 12 feet of the width of the driveway. And the line of 10 very pretty shade trees on the other side of garage. Oh. And 1.5 bays of the freaking garage.

Look into consulting an attorney, 1994 was 21 years ago and open usage of that land may mean your parents own that by adverse possession.

I'm not your lawyer, but that's something to really look into..

[Morgoth]

Adverse possession typically requires more time I think, though consulting a lawyer is never bad advice, especially when it comes to disputes over property.

Is there a dispute though? Do they have a kind of relationship with their neighbours where purchasing the area for a reasonable sum could be possible to arrange?

[Gnaw]

All good points. I intend upon calling my lawyer. I'm assuming that there is something, but finding that out on a Friday at 4 sucks.

[amphibian]

Morgoth, on 15 August 2015 - 09:55 AM, said:

Adverse possession typically requires more time I think, though consulting a lawyer is never bad advice, especially when it comes to disputes over property.

Is there a dispute though? Do they have a kind of relationship with their neighbours where purchasing the area for a reasonable sum could be possible to arrange?

Some of this may hinge upon when the driveway, garage and trees were built/planted.

If you can get to a lawyer with all that info, that'd get you an answer much faster.

[Gredfallan Ale]

Well, I might as well put this up here, as my first post in, what is it, almost a year? I don't actually know why I'm bothering you all with this, but here it goes.

Basically, I'm fighting depression, finally, after having destroyed a substantial part of my life, including a relationship and great opportunities for a decent career in science. I've been depressed or on the edge of depression for a long, long time, but I always refused to accept it, get help or even accepting that something was wrong and I would not able to fix it on my own. Basically, my greatest cognitive skill is suppression, so I never truly stopped to think about my life and where it was going, despite all the tell-tale signs and undeniable facts. As long as I had something to focus on, besides the things that were actually begging focus, I appeared to do fine, while I was actually neglecting everything of importance. Once in a while it would hit me, giving me sleepless nights and taking away the joy and the will to live, but I usually got passed those phases by rolling a 20 on a suppression attempt.

Two months ago, my girlfriend broke up with me. As I had made here the centre of everything in my life, so I would not have to think about anything else, the break-up forced me to finally think about my life and what I was doing with it. I realised I'd deluding myself and decided to get help. Basically, it was either getting help or giving up, in a definite manner. I decided I wanted to live, so I choose the former.

And, basically, that's where I am now, trying to get a grip on my life again. So far, I can't really say that I've achieved just that, but I knew it would take time as I'm dealing with things I've been avoiding for years, some for over a decade. I can't really change the damage I've done in the past, so I'm trying to accept it as "done" and to focus on mitigation and a healthier approach to problems in the future. However, that's easier said than done, so now that I'm finally allowing in the things done or neglected to do in the past, I'm experiencing a lot of guilt, remorse and shame.

I honestly don't know where I'll be in a year.

That's enough for now, I hope the lack of coherence, grammar and spelling did not give you a headache.

[Tiste Simeon]

Man I don't know what to say but I'm glad your fighting your way out of this. We're rooting for you! PM me if you need to vent some more, I'll be happy to chat.

[Morgoth]

I had a weird, weird encounter just now. A girl I hadn't seen in a while contacted me. It was, hm, we had a very informal relationship of sorts this spring. It sort of petered out, but I don't know why exactly. She is incredibly attractive and we got along very well.

This is not something I'd normally share, but it was unsettling and I need to tell someone. At any rate, we got back in touch and ended up with her coming to my place soon as I was done with work. Well, she did and we pretty much feel straight into bed. At first it was pretty great, but some time into it something changed and she started crying. One moment she was, you know, making the right kind of noises. The next instance she was weeping. I didn't know what to do. I stopped, asked if she was alright (stupid question). She just shook her head, got dressed, fixed her makeup and left. It was incredibly awkward to be sure, but mainly just really sad. I don't know. I feel very sad somehow, but I don't know what happened.

Yeah, I don't expect you guys to disentangle this, but I just needed to get it off my chest.

[amphibian]

Uh... sometimes there's happy tears and there's not-ok tears. This sounds like the latter. Is it possible that she may have broken up with someone and/or been recently assaulted?

I'd reach out as a friend only, seeing if she wants to talk or if she wants someone around who she can trust.

Back on focus: I was a groomsman at a wedding (very nice event put on by two dear friends). At the afterparty, some people were very inebriated (perfectly ok). I was sitting and talking to some friends when a very tipsy lady sat down next to me. She wanted to talk and did so, but not very coherently, and she was very touchy with me. I tolerated this and made no moves. A few minutes later, her husband came over, slapped his hand down on both of our chair backs and said "Are you talking up my wife?" in a way that was both joking and aggressive.

I know how to fight and saw that he didn't, so I wasn't worried about anything and said "Hello, I was listening to [name] tell us about the family reunion last year". But I was ticked off. That was a shitty thing to do. It was weird, halted the talk at the table, and he sat down on the other side of her to start a strange conversation with one of my friends in a way that sounded more like a pretext than an actual interest in conversation. They both left the table a few minutes later, with the rest of us shaking our heads at the strange dynamic.

[Andorion]

Morgoth, on 17 August 2015 - 03:13 PM, said:

I had a weird, weird encounter just now. A girl I hadn't seen in a while contacted me. It was, hm, we had a very informal relationship of sorts this spring. It sort of petered out, but I don't know why exactly. She is incredibly attractive and we got along very well.

This is not something I'd normally share, but it was unsettling and I need to tell someone. At any rate, we got back in touch and ended up with her coming to my place soon as I was done with work. Well, she did and we pretty much feel straight into bed. At first it was pretty great, but some time into it something changed and she started crying. One moment she was, you know, making the right kind of noises. The next instance she was weeping. I didn't know what to do. I stopped, asked if she was alright (stupid question). She just shook her head, got dressed, fixed her makeup and left. It was incredibly awkward to be sure, but mainly just really sad. I don't know. I feel very sad somehow, but I don't know what happened.

Yeah, I don't expect you guys to disentangle this, but I just needed to get it off my chest.

Uh quite possibly some (hopefully) unrelated issues caught up with her. Like Amphibian said, you could try and try and find out if anything is wrong.

[Gredfallan Ale]

Morgoth, on 17 August 2015 - 03:13 PM, said:

I had a weird, weird encounter just now. A girl I hadn't seen in a while contacted me. It was, hm, we had a very informal relationship of sorts this spring. It sort of petered out, but I don't know why exactly. She is incredibly attractive and we got along very well.

This is not something I'd normally share, but it was unsettling and I need to tell someone. At any rate, we got back in touch and ended up with her coming to my place soon as I was done with work. Well, she did and we pretty much feel straight into bed. At first it was pretty great, but some time into it something changed and she started crying. One moment she was, you know, making the right kind of noises. The next instance she was weeping. I didn't know what to do. I stopped, asked if she was alright (stupid question). She just shook her head, got dressed, fixed her makeup and left. It was incredibly awkward to be sure, but mainly just really sad. I don't know. I feel very sad somehow, but I don't know what happened.

Yeah, I don't expect you guys to disentangle this, but I just needed to get it off my chest.

Disclaimer: English is not my native language, so it's quite hard for me to use proper informal and conversational metaphors for intimacy.

I once experienced something similar, so I would like to share something on the subject and my experience and actions afterwards. I got in touch with a girl I knew through a friend and she invited me over to her home. Although we did not jump straight into bed as you, we started watching a movie, but it soon turned to something else (we both knew it would end up there [and were happy with it]). We took it quite slow, exploring &c., and it took a while before we got up and went to the bedroom. Then, one minute or so into the real thing, she suddenly started crying, so I stopped right away, as it was clear she did not want to continue. We got up, went back to living room and actually had a great time with everything but actual sex. (Weird as it may sound, I first comforted her and took my distance, but she actually re-initiated the physical contact.)

About a week later, she visited my house and thanked me for stopping when she had second thoughts and said that she was surprised I did as "that's very hard for guys and they can't really help it". We did not really talk about it, but from the context of the conversation it was clear that she meant she had a bad experience or two. The really hard part for me was that she seemed to blame herself and not the guys who continued after the "no", as she excused them over and over again for it saying that it is indeed hard to stop when you're horny and that girls should not be surprised if guys want more after doing things that "lead up to sex". So, in this case it was probably a traumatic experience for her, with the additional self-blame.

Now, here's the part that may be useful for you: She felt very guilty and ashamed towards me for stopping! For it ending up in tears. So, it may very well be that she left not because of any negative feelings towards you, but maybe because she feels ashamed and couldn't look you in the eyes. There are plenty of other explanations, though. (flashback to trauma, for one).

[Morgoth]

Yeah, I sent her a message asking if she's alright. Our relationship never seemed to be anything but physical, so I doubt I'd be her choice for that particular talk. Though who knows, maybe that'll make it easier for her.

At the same time, and this is very selfish, I'm a little annoyed by it all. I am very much not in a place where I am equiped to deal with an outpouring of emotion, but it's not like I can just abandon her either.

Ah well, what happens happens. Thanks for the advice, it helped

[Gredfallan Ale]

Morgoth, on 17 August 2015 - 08:46 PM, said:

Yeah, I sent her a message asking if she's alright. Our relationship never seemed to be anything but physical, so I doubt I'd be her choice for that particular talk. Though who knows, maybe that'll make it easier for her.

At the same time, and this is very selfish, I'm a little annoyed by it all. I am very much not in a place where I am equiped to deal with an outpouring of emotion, but it's not like I can just abandon her either.

Ah well, what happens happens. Thanks for the advice, it helped

Good luck and don't forget to care for yourself. (If you're really not in a place to handle the deep emotional problems of someone else, then don't.)

[Nicodimas]

That Chinese Explosion sounds nuts now..well more than before:

http://en.boxun.com/...er-700-missing/

<^videos probably nsfw>

http://www.theguardi...-allowed-amount

700..Tonnes Are you kidding me..whats the long terms consequences of being exposed to something like this?

<my bro works HaZmaT for fire, so these situations make me shudder>

This post has been edited by Nicodimas: 17 August 2015 - 11:59 PM

[Andorion]

Peoplw with no sense of self preservation. They are messing with my groove

[Gnaw]

Living in the boonies.
GP recommended two specialists to me. The first's phone has been disconnected and nobody answers the second one's. Not even a voice message.

Bah

[A Demon Llama!]

Fuck, I think I've screwed myself. A while ago I lost my wallet and I guess my citizenship card was in there and forgot about it. I was sure it wasn't in there but now it seems it was as I cannot flippin find it. Now my passport will expire soon and I need my citizenship to renew it which takes at least 5 months to get a decision. Kicker is I travel to the US for meetings and such for work. And that is why you do shit right away and not wait on stuff.

[worry]

I'll read that later.

[Andorion]

My commute. Was stuck in a horrific traffic jam and the usual 1 hour trip turned into 2.5 nightmarish hours in an uncomfortable bus.

[worry]

Andorion, on 19 August 2015 - 06:00 PM, said:

My commute. Was stuck in a horrific traffic jam and the usual 1 hour trip turned into 2.5 nightmarish hours in an uncomfortable bus.

Indian traffic videos are even more entertaining than Russian dashcam videos.

[Andorion]

worry, on 20 August 2015 - 12:00 AM, said:

Andorion, on 19 August 2015 - 06:00 PM, said:

My commute. Was stuck in a horrific traffic jam and the usual 1 hour trip turned into 2.5 nightmarish hours in an uncomfortable bus.

Indian traffic videos are even more entertaining than Russian dashcam videos.

Oh please first ride in an auto (Three wheeler with metal chassis, covered with canvas, 4+1 capacity, no seatbelts or windowglass) between two racing buses either of which could crush you with a twitch. Russians ony face car accidents.