[Mezla PigDog]

Ain, on 19 January 2012 - 10:30 AM, said:

So apparently my erstwhile girlfriend posted this on her Tumblr wall...

"I'm not going to lie,
I'm so glad not to be in a relationship any more and sometimes I wonder what on Earth was I thinking getting into one in the first place."

So I was taking it all pretty well until this...

Ha ha, that is harsh! She's certainly not taking your feelings into account when posting this, particularly as you have mutual friends. Ignore it, who knows what she means but note she says "relationship" rather than "relationship with AIJ". Didn't she have reservations about relationships in the first place? She's just referring to that. Be glad you're no longer in a relationship with a girl who doesn't like relationships! You are much likely to have a successful relationship with a girl who actually wants to be in one Narrow escape from long drawn out misery for you! Celebrate

[Gothos]

Take it easy, champ. Chase some tail now.

[QuickTidal]

Ain, on 19 January 2012 - 10:30 AM, said:

So apparently my erstwhile girlfriend posted this on her Tumblr wall...

"I’m not going to lie,
I’m so glad not to be in a relationship any more and sometimes I wonder what on Earth was I thinking getting into one in the first place."

So I was taking it all pretty well until this...

This is gut check time sir. This is good, you can use this. This proves that Lex is going to do her very best to be abrasive and ugly about your breakup...and if you are totally honest with yourself, would you even want to be with someone who behaves in such a fashion, in such a blatantly public way on the internet?

This helps you realize how much better off you are. It also helps you realize that it sounds like she doesn't want to be in any relationship, thus confining herself to a future as a crazy cat lady.

[JLV]

Let me tell you something about highschool girls, AIJ. I think you're somewhere around my age, so maybe my words will stick more than the grumpy old men we have around here (their advice is quite good, but it's hard to follow it sometimes unfortunately).

High school girls tend to be attention seeking, compliment craving, heart breaking, silly little things. Not all of them, mind you, but at that age the vast majority have no idea how to handle themselves. The boring part of the internet exists specifically for them. The facebook/twitter/tumblr crowd is just a way for girls to grab attention and feel better about themselves. She probably didn't put that specifically to hurt you, she put it to get attention from other (probably lonely and jealous) single girls that are also on her tumblr friends list or whatever. I don't really need to explain everything, but I can tell you that it's probably a good idea to un-friend her (or the tumblr equivalent) as who wants to be friends with someone who clearly doesn't care about your feelings at all?

This is why I only date 20+ these days... unfortunate reminder to before then.

[Darkwatch]

After a year and a half I have caught a cold. This pisses me off.

[Mezla PigDog]

JLV, on 19 January 2012 - 01:13 PM, said:

High school girls tend to be attention seeking, compliment craving, heart breaking, silly little things. Not all of them, mind you, but at that age the vast majority have no idea how to handle themselves. The boring part of the internet exists specifically for them. The facebook/twitter/tumblr crowd is just a way for girls to grab attention and feel better about themselves.

Whereas high school boys are fine upstanding pillars of decency and the intellectual, fun and thought provoking part of the internet exists specifically for them! Right?

[JLV]

Mezla PigDog, on 19 January 2012 - 01:42 PM, said:

JLV, on 19 January 2012 - 01:13 PM, said:

High school girls tend to be attention seeking, compliment craving, heart breaking, silly little things. Not all of them, mind you, but at that age the vast majority have no idea how to handle themselves. The boring part of the internet exists specifically for them. The facebook/twitter/tumblr crowd is just a way for girls to grab attention and feel better about themselves.

Whereas high school boys are fine upstanding pillars of decency and the intellectual, fun and thought provoking part of the internet exists specifically for them! Right?

No high schools boys tend to be mentally challenged. But that's not the area of discussion, so I didn't mention it

[QuickTidal]

Actually both High School boys AND high school girls are attention seekers and haven't the skillset to manage their emotions yet. Thus do you get shit like Lex, on Tumblr, being totally douchy in general (nevermind the insult to AIJ).

I mean seriously, how needy is it to say something like "I'm so glad I'm not in a relationship, I don't know what I was thinking!" She may as well have told the truth and said "Being single is tough some days, and on a day like today when I feel crappy I am instead going to say the opposite and pretend that I am happy with my miserable little young adult life. Oh, and I'll attempt to bring others down by doing so as well."

Also Tumblr is ridiculous. It's actually MORE ridiculous than Facebook (if that's possible), and acts like a wall of "needy" or "attention seeking".

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 19 January 2012 - 02:22 PM

[QuickTidal]

Man, I am a cranky old sod this week.

[Loki]

QuickTidal, on 19 January 2012 - 02:23 PM, said:

Man, I am a cranky old sod this week.

Someone has to take up Gothos' roll now that he is all happy and lovey-dovey

[Tapper]

Mezla PigDog, on 19 January 2012 - 01:42 PM, said:

JLV, on 19 January 2012 - 01:13 PM, said:

High school girls tend to be attention seeking, compliment craving, heart breaking, silly little things. Not all of them, mind you, but at that age the vast majority have no idea how to handle themselves. The boring part of the internet exists specifically for them. The facebook/twitter/tumblr crowd is just a way for girls to grab attention and feel better about themselves.

Whereas high school boys are fine upstanding pillars of decency and the intellectual, fun and thought provoking part of the internet exists specifically for them! Right?

That depends on how you define porno, Mezla.

[Puck]

My desk chair is broken. What an annoyance

[QuickTidal]

Work is slow today...and therefore crawling along at a snails pace.

[worry]

Never trust a person.

[D'rek]

JLV, on 19 January 2012 - 01:13 PM, said:

Let me tell you something about highschool girls, AIJ. I think you're somewhere around my age, so maybe my words will stick more than the grumpy old men we have around here (their advice is quite good, but it's hard to follow it sometimes unfortunately).

High school girls tend to be attention seeking, compliment craving, heart breaking, silly little things. Not all of them, mind you, but at that age the vast majority have no idea how to handle themselves. The boring part of the internet exists specifically for them. The facebook/twitter/tumblr crowd is just a way for girls to grab attention and feel better about themselves. She probably didn't put that specifically to hurt you, she put it to get attention from other (probably lonely and jealous) single girls that are also on her tumblr friends list or whatever. I don't really need to explain everything, but I can tell you that it's probably a good idea to un-friend her (or the tumblr equivalent) as who wants to be friends with someone who clearly doesn't care about your feelings at all?

This is why I only date 20+ these days... unfortunate reminder to before then.

QuickTidal, on 19 January 2012 - 02:21 PM, said:

Actually both High School boys AND high school girls are attention seekers and haven't the skillset to manage their emotions yet. Thus do you get shit like Lex, on Tumblr, being totally douchy in general (nevermind the insult to AIJ).

I mean seriously, how needy is it to say something like "I'm so glad I'm not in a relationship, I don't know what I was thinking!" She may as well have told the truth and said "Being single is tough some days, and on a day like today when I feel crappy I am instead going to say the opposite and pretend that I am happy with my miserable little young adult life. Oh, and I'll attempt to bring others down by doing so as well."

Also Tumblr is ridiculous. It's actually MORE ridiculous than Facebook (if that's possible), and acts like a wall of "needy" or "attention seeking".

You guys always have such depressing advice...

Don't worry AIJ, unlike what seems to be the opinion of many members of this forum, women/girls between the ages of 15 and 19 are not, in fact, all completely self-centered, manipulative, egotistical, exploitative, promiscuous succubi. As much as some people may tell you about how this or that girl you may or may not fancy/date/etc is doing all these terrible things because they are evil and just want to hurt you, and have no consideration for your feelings at all, this is actually not true. You may find this hard to believe, but there is actually a really good and simple explanation for this seemingly morally depraved, blood-sucking behaviour, and the explanaation is this: THEY ARE ONLY 15/16/17/18/19/whatever AND IT IS A CONFUSING TIME. It's easy for your cranky old internet buddies to judge and cast someone in some very terrible lights based on the few bits of information we hear about from you, but it is wrong to assume such terrible motivations are really the reason she is doing this. Most teenage girls have a mental bombardment of various social ideas of what they are supposed to be doing with no practical experience and the result can be accurately summed up with the word 'confusion'. It is difficult to know what socially-constrained moves to take, when to take them, how to do them and to even recognize the opportunity to do these things when they arise, and there really isn't any time available to stop and think things through. Personally speaking, when I was a teen, I never realized that my first few dates were, in fact, dates, I got into a relationship without even realizing I was in one, and then when I did realize it I had no idea what I was supposed to do next.

I'm not saying that any sort of fault here lies or does not lie with you or Lex, this is more just a general rambly post to counter the "Girl did one thing that hurt you? She's a Maoist slut and you should quietly hate her for life now go find a new girl!" mentality that I seem to see a lot in here.

And if that post was confusing to read... well that's kinda the point!!!

[JLV]

Well said, D'rek. You said a lot of what I was trying to say before I went off on a grumpy rant.

[QuickTidal]

D, on 19 January 2012 - 07:20 PM, said:

You guys always have such depressing advice...

Don't worry AIJ, unlike what seems to be the opinion of many members of this forum, women/girls between the ages of 15 and 19 are not, in fact, all completely self-centered, manipulative, egotistical, exploitative, promiscuous succubi. As much as some people may tell you about how this or that girl you may or may not fancy/date/etc is doing all these terrible things because they are evil and just want to hurt you, and have no consideration for your feelings at all, this is actually not true. You may find this hard to believe, but there is actually a really good and simple explanation for this seemingly morally depraved, blood-sucking behaviour, and the explanaation is this: THEY ARE ONLY 15/16/17/18/19/whatever AND IT IS A CONFUSING TIME. It's easy for your cranky old internet buddies to judge and cast someone in some very terrible lights based on the few bits of information we hear about from you, but it is wrong to assume such terrible motivations are really the reason she is doing this. Most teenage girls have a mental bombardment of various social ideas of what they are supposed to be doing with no practical experience and the result can be accurately summed up with the word 'confusion'. It is difficult to know what socially-constrained moves to take, when to take them, how to do them and to even recognize the opportunity to do these things when they arise, and there really isn't any time available to stop and think things through. Personally speaking, when I was a teen, I never realized that my first few dates were, in fact, dates, I got into a relationship without even realizing I was in one, and then when I did realize it I had no idea what I was supposed to do next.

I'm not saying that any sort of fault here lies or does not lie with you or Lex, this is more just a general rambly post to counter the "Girl did one thing that hurt you? She's a Maoist slut and you should quietly hate her for life now go find a new girl!" mentality that I seem to see a lot in here.

And if that post was confusing to read... well that's kinda the point!!!

1. I actually thought the point of my post was that teenagers (in general) is crazy, and that they aren't emotionally prepared for this stuff.

2. As a guy (who has had his heart ripped out on occasion), I feel I have to support a fellow guy who not only had his heart ripped out but it's now being a little trampled on for good measure. All I'm telling him is to steel himself and become cold iron in the face of this. Which basically amounts to me telling him, use this as part of the shield that guides you.

3. A lot of these teens don't grow out of this phase as adults. He needs to know the signs so that in future he can avoid the "crazy".

4. Lex posting such things on her tumblr (as site I am sure her friends read, and probably AIJ's friends as well) is blatant and nasty and on purpose. There is literally no other reason to post such things. That comment belonged in a private diary, not a bloody website for all to see. It's dirty laundry and she wanted to post it.

5. I'm not saying the above notion is not a "normal" way for a young girl to react in said situation, I'm saying in the internet age she should have a little more sense as to what belongs online and what doesn't.

6. Lastly, I think we were just helping to re-enforce a dude who's having a bit of trouble. Back when I had my WORST breakup ever...what helped me? My guy friends. They were there for me, and yeah they bashed her to make me feel better and told me I was better off. As a result I felt better. It's part of how we deal with this stuff, especially as teens.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 19 January 2012 - 07:59 PM

[JLV]

Everytime AIJ posts, we add 2 more pages to this thread. Someone should do an analysis on the advice giving internet brood. Maybe I will for my next psych essay.

[amphibian]

D, on 19 January 2012 - 07:20 PM, said:

I'm not saying that any sort of fault here lies or does not lie with you or Lex, this is more just a general rambly post to counter the "Girl did one thing that hurt you? She's a Maoist slut and you should quietly hate her for life now go find a new girl!" mentality that I seem to see a lot in here.

What? Way to turn this into hyperbole.

Nobody is saying Lex is evil. All of the concrete advice above was about AIJ dissociating himself from Lex because she's taken the first step into the impolite public airing of grievances/unkind sentiments. I disagree strongly with several parts of JLV's post about who the Fbook/Twitter/Tumblr crowd are (not easily categorized) and that he mistakenly limits the selfish romantic bumbling to high school girls only. That's a mistake.

High school kids of both genders and whatever sexuality are generally figuring this romantic stuff out as they go and are stuck with the added burdens of being narrow-mindedly selfish, unwilling or unable to see the full consequences of their actions and being entirely too taken with self-imposed narratives. I know I was wrapped up in some kind of self-built chivalrous ideal for most of high school that prevented me from actually relaxing and having fun with those I was attracted to. I broke through that and over the years, I've bumbled through several other relationships, with many mistakes and unfortunate incidents.

All of that previous experience has taught me that being polite and refraining from public airing of grievances, even when the other person isn't doing so, usually pays off. And distancing one's self from an unthinking/spiteful ex is a good idea too.

I also dislike with a true fervor the intent behind publicly saying "So glad I'm not in a relationship anymore." That's disrespectful on so many levels and is probably a fib designed to soothe her own hurt and confusion. The difference between "a" relationship versus "that" relationship is part of my dislike for it and her indifference for the two is pure, raw high school dumbness that will hopefully be fixed through life and experience soon.

[Mott]

Well I for one have no idea what happened between AIJ and Lex, what kind of a relationship they had, why or how or in what state it ended.

Maybe she was hurt by something and seriously regrets having a relationship, maybe she just wasn't ready, maybe because of mutual friends she was reaching out for someone to talk to. I don't know but a page worth of 'what a shite female' can be slightly abrasive when no one knows what went on except the people involved, hell, maybe they don't even know.

Anyway I agree with D'rek, teenage years for anyone are hard enough and people sometimes flail around trying to figure out what the fuck they're supposed to be feeling or doing. Anyway, i'm sorry to hear things went wrong AIJ but i'm not sure it always necessitates everyone crying what a bitch