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A Short Interview with Robert Jordan

#1 User is offline   Lorn 

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Posted 01 June 2003 - 01:20 PM

Lol Posted Image You really dont like the WoT, do you? Haven't read CoT yet and people like you makes me think I shouldn't...

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#2 Guest_Edge_*

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Posted 31 May 2003 - 06:09 AM

ED: Robert Jordan, bestselling author of the Wheel of Time series, welcome.
RJ: It’s an honour.
ED: It’s an honour for me too.
RJ: That’s what I meant.
ED: Mr. Jordan, may I call you Robert?
RJ: My friends call me Robert.
ED: Robert…
RJ: That’s Mr. Jordan to you.
ED: Fine. Mr Jordan, tell us about your latest novel.
RJ: This is Book 22 of the Wheel of Time series, Rand Clips his Toenails .
ED: The book has come in from some criticism from the fans on the forums.
RJ: I can’t imagine why.
ED: Perhaps because the entire book is devoted entirely to a description of Rand clipping his toenails.
RJ: I felt that there were a lot of important plot points addressed in the book.
ED It’s seven hundred pages about toenail clipping!
RJ: I think you are failing to understand the significance of the toenail clipping act. Each toenail must be clipped in the precise order as laid out in The Prophecies of The Dragon. The manner in which each toenail is clipped is subtly different, with serious implications for all of the other characters.
ED: What possible implications could there be for the other characters? None of them even appear in the book!
RJ: I’m afraid you will have to Read and Find Out.
ED: Lets try a different approach…Mr. Jordan, how do you react to accusations that your novels consist almost entirely of meaningless trivial subplots and feature precious little actual plot development?
RJ: I can’t understand where these accusations are coming from.
ED: Allow me to give a couple of examples…Book 17 The Paint Dries . The infamous braid tugging sequence… “Men!” growled Nynaeve, tugging her braid and folding her arms under her breasts. Elayne stormed into the room. “Men!” she exclaimed, tugging Nynaeve’s braid and folding her arms beneath her brests. Aviendha stormed into the room. “Men!” she growled, tugging Nynaeve’s braid and folding her arms… . This goes on for an entire chapter! Thirty-seven different women complain about men and tug Nynaeve’s braid. How can you justify this? Or how about Book 19 Overtaken by a Snail …Elayne knits clothes for her baby…and you include the knitting pattern!
RJ: These are all important plot points. To appreciate the significance you just have to RAFO.
ED: Have you any idea how irritating that phrase is?
RJ: Let me stroke my beard while I think about that…yes.
ED: Fine. Was it a conscious decision of yours to concentrate on one character for the entire book? Are we now going to get a dozen one character books?
RJ: Let me stroke my beard and think about that…no. The next book will have another change of emphasis. It will consist entirely of subplot and will not feature any of the main characters.
ED: None at all? That’s incredible! What is it about?
RJ: The book introduces two hundred new characters, none of whom will appear in any of the subsequent books. As to the plot, you will just have to wait until the first part of the prologue goes on sale.
ED: Yes, I suppose…hold on a minute, what do you mean by the first part of the Prologue?
RJ: I am releasing the Prologue of the next book on a sentence by sentence basis.
ED: Good God! How long is this Prologue?
RJ: Approximately 700 pages.
ED: That doesn’t leave much room for the rest of the book.
RJ: There is no rest of the book. The entire book is a Prologue. It’s part of my FARO policy.
ED: Don’t you mean RAFO?
RJ: No, FARO – Fleece and Rip Off.
ED: Have you a title for book twenty-three yet?
RJ: Not yet, I was thinking Laughing All the Way to the Bank or maybe The Dragging Really Bores why?
ED: Might I suggest The Mattress.
RJ: Why?
ED: Because its full of padding.
RJ: Let me stroke my beard and think about that.
ED: Robert Jordan, best-selling author of the Wheel of Time series, goodnight.

"Men!" growled Nynaeve, tugging her braid and folding her arms under her breasts. Elayne stormed into the room. "Men!" she exclaimed, tugging Nynaeve's braid and folding her arms beneath her breasts. Aviendha stormed into the room. "Men!" she growled, tugging Nynaeve's braid and folding...

Wheel of Time:Book 17 The Paint Dries
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#3 User is offline   Mort 

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Posted 01 June 2003 - 03:10 PM

Brilliant...ROFLMAO...

I agree with Edge - wuite enjoyed it a t the start (more than enjoyed) but momentum and progressipon of the story seems to have slowed.. nay ... halted!

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#4 User is offline   Malarion 

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Posted 01 June 2003 - 03:26 PM

Good stuff edge. You promised me the whole scene and I thank you for it.

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#5 User is offline   Monok 

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Posted 01 June 2003 - 11:51 AM

I havn't really got to the "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING????!!!!!" Stage with Robert Jordan yet, cos I've only just finished book 4, but do the books degenerate quite that much? (And yes I do know it's not a real interview)

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"Let he that hath understanding count the number of the beast; for it is the number of a man, and his number is six hundred, three score and six."
-Revelation, Chapter 13, verse 18
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#6 Guest_Edge_*

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Posted 01 June 2003 - 01:30 PM

I was a big fan of WoT up to the end of Book 7. After the mess that was Path of Daggers I began to have doubts. Winters Heart was okay I guess but Crossroads of Twilight was terrible. I was so annoyed at wasting €25 on it that I wrote the rant above.

"Men!" growled Nynaeve, tugging her braid and folding her arms under her breasts. Elayne stormed into the room. "Men!" she exclaimed, tugging Nynaeve's braid and folding her arms beneath her breasts. Aviendha stormed into the room. "Men!" she growled, tugging Nynaeve's braid and folding...

Wheel of Time:Book 17 The Paint Dries
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#7 Guest_Falco_*

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Posted 01 July 2003 - 09:24 PM

ROFL- that interview contains my feelings exactly!

"I am a son who lives without hope of ever matching my father's stride"- L'oric
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#8 Guest_The Shadowlord_*

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Posted 31 May 2003 - 06:15 AM

ROFLMAO!!! Fantastic!Posted ImagePosted Image

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"What though the field be lost? All is not lost - the uconquerable will, and study of revenge, immortal hate, and courage never to submit or yield: And what is else not to be overcome? That glory never shall His wrath or might extort from me."
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#9 Guest_TheClaw_*

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Posted 01 June 2003 - 12:38 PM

He he he...rofl....rofl...rofl...

"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle"

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#10 User is offline   Fist Gamet 

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Posted 01 June 2003 - 03:29 PM

Posted ImageHow on earth did you manage to get an interview with him?

Oh please.... Posted Image

Hee hee
Victory is mine!
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#11 User is offline   caladanbrood 

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Posted 30 June 2003 - 01:00 PM

roflmao! brilliantPosted Image but with one small problem...
quote:
ED: Might I suggest The Mattress.

you cant do this! there is no spring!!!

*************
O xein angellein Lakedaimoniois hoti tede,
keimentha tois keinon rhemasi peithomenoi.
Unaligned - Obelisk - Friend of Asterisk.
O xein', angellein Lakedaimoniois hoti tde; keimetha tois keinon rhmasi peithomenoi.
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#12 User is offline   RodeoRanch 

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Posted 31 May 2003 - 09:02 AM

Good stuff! Posted Image

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#13 Guest_allwilldie_*

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Posted 30 June 2003 - 11:31 AM

breath Conuil breath!
Goodness, I was pissing myself the whole way through that

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Hardly surprising that Death has no taste. [Nerruse]
Posted Image Posted Image
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#14 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 31 May 2003 - 07:27 AM

LMAO!
nice one, bring us more! Posted Image

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I want out! Leave me be
I want out! To do thing on my own
I want out! To live my life and to be free! Posted Image

Angie's conscort
Crown of the Deck of Dragons
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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