Malazan Empire: Whos line is it anyway. (scenes from a hat) - Malazan Empire

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Whos line is it anyway. (scenes from a hat)

#61 Aimless

First Sword

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 539
Joined: 08-February 03

Posted 20 June 2008 - 11:31 PM

"When Billy was younger, he'd just sit for hours on end drawing dicks. He couldn't touch the pen to the paper without drawing the shape of a penis."

#62 Tiste Simeon

Faith, Heavy Metal & Bacon

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 12,428
Joined: 08-October 04
Location:T'North

Posted 21 June 2008 - 12:21 AM

"Oh don't mind me, just smoothing down the deep shag carpet."

A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.

#63 Lost Marine

Fist

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 255
Joined: 01-September 07

Posted 21 June 2008 - 01:11 AM

"That reminds me of the time I was in the philipines and I woke up in a hotel room with six sailors, a donkey, five chickens, and a taxicab. I was sore for weeks!"

#64 Obdigore

ThunderBear

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 6,165
Joined: 22-June 06

Posted 21 June 2008 - 01:40 AM

Shurque said:

Things you never want to hear your mom tell your friends.

'Yes, I was hoping for a girl, I hope it doesn't show'

'So, a couple weeks ago, I found this penis pump in his room'

'We removed the tail a couple weeks after birth. Doctor cut the wrong side the first time.'

Ok, so rl story:
GF's brother brought home a date to look at movie times. His mom came home (she is a nurse that does sex ed, among other things) and turns to the date and pulls out this large vase/jar thing that is used to store hard pasta before you cook it. It is full of salt. She brandishes it and says to the girl 'Do you know what this is?... This is the amount of sperm released during intercourse.'

He never saw her again.

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#65 Shurque's biatch

High Fist

Group: LHTEC
Posts: 321
Joined: 24-August 06

Posted 21 June 2008 - 04:08 AM

Ok, sorry guys, been driving hither and also yon plus errands (= almost 8 hours combined).

Illy's is good and Obdi's story had me laughing. But Lance has the win.

"Piss on Hood!" ~Roach

#66 caladanbrood

Ugly on the Inside

Group: Team Quick Ben
Posts: 10,819
Joined: 07-January 03
Location:Manchester, UK

Posted 21 June 2008 - 09:40 AM

Sir Thursday;335336 said:

If I were the one deciding, I'd give that a win...but I'm not.

Thank you, at least someone got the reference:)

O xein', angellein Lakedaimoniois hoti têde; keimetha tois keinon rhémasi peithomenoi.

#67 Macros

D'ivers Fuckwits

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 9,139
Joined: 28-January 08
Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 23 June 2008 - 02:36 PM

a new scene please lancelot

2012
"Imperial Gothos, Imperial"

#68 Lancelot

Captain

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 187
Joined: 23-October 06
Location:Derbyshire

Posted 23 June 2008 - 02:53 PM

Things overheard in the Doc's waiting room!! - Go!

Let There Be A Way Through The Waters

#69 Tiste Simeon

Faith, Heavy Metal & Bacon

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 12,428
Joined: 08-October 04
Location:T'North

Posted 23 June 2008 - 02:55 PM

"I don't know how it got so far up in there... I tried pulling but that made the hissing worse!"

A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.

#70 Macros

D'ivers Fuckwits

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 9,139
Joined: 28-January 08
Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 23 June 2008 - 03:00 PM

"so you're saying you sat on it...."

"Ok, just go in there and take of your pants"

2012
"Imperial Gothos, Imperial"

#71 Obdigore

ThunderBear

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 6,165
Joined: 22-June 06

Posted 23 June 2008 - 03:05 PM

Lancelot;337018 said:

Things overheard in the Doc's waiting room!! - Go!

"...Peanut Butter.... dog.... felt good.... burns."

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#72 Illuyankas

Retro Classic

Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
Posts: 7,254
Joined: 28-September 04
Will cluck you up

Posted 23 June 2008 - 03:05 PM

"Nurse, bring in my surgical shotgun."

Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.