[Aptorian]

Got a funny e-mail in my in-box today. I am guessing it is in response to the discussion in the latest Goodkind thread:

Quote

From: choco_bunny@live.com
Subject: To Battle Plaptypus - from a fan on the Malazan Empire forums
Date: Mon, 16 May 2011 00:02:02 +1200

Hi there Battle Plaptypus,

You have gained our attention as a very important member of the Malazan Empire forums. We could use someone as influential as you, and were wondering if you might be good enough to assist us. We at Goodkind's Goodfolk are dedicated to spreading the gospel of Terry Goodkind's wonderful novels. Perhaps you have read and enjoyed them? If you haven't yet we strongly urge you to! The first is Wizard's First Rule, which may have found it's way into your possession recently . These books really are the best of genre fiction, not to slight Stephen Erikson of course, who is a wonderful author and in the top tier. We were hoping that if you have enjoyed Goodkind's books (well how couldn't you eh?) you might be willing to put in a good word or two about them in the malazan forums? You know, spread the good news (or should that be the Goodkind news Of course it's totally up to you whether you do so, we're only putting it out there for you.

If you are happy to do this and we are happy with the result, we may wish to offer you the honor of being our permanent liaison to the Malazan Forums. You'll be part of an exciting global network of friendly, like-minded fans all unflinchingly dedicated to the proliferation of Goodkind's body work.

All the best and happy reading!,

- High Seeker Kitty.

This was my response:

Quote

You are asking me to be the Mortal Sword of Goodkind?

Googling "Goodkind's Goodfolk " doesn't show any results, so either you just made up that group or you are a super secret fanbase. What is it?

I am sure you are just trolling but tell me more. This could be interesting.

Which one of you sent me this?

EDIT: Oh man, the mystery thickens.

Two differet people have been sending me e-book copies of Goodkinds books. One from "Whiskeyjack" and one from "Richard Gallagher". The last one seems to be related to TOR. It includes an advertisement for "The Omen Machine".

I have been sent "mobile" links to Wizards First Rule and Blood of the Fold.

I am so not clicking those links.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?

This post has been edited by Battle Plaptypus: 15 May 2011 - 08:46 PM

[HoosierDaddy]

Christ, they want you to be their liaison? Just direct them to the Goodkind thread where you go apeshit on it.

Also, I assume they have similar movie tastes.

Edit: My keen detective skills spotted, "well how couldn't you eh?" So, I'm 99% sure they are Canadian. Make them compose a rhyme using "about" as the word to be rhymed with.

This post has been edited by HoosierDaddy: 15 May 2011 - 09:05 PM

[Tapper]

It means you have to be nice about Goodkind, of course. No more Book Barbeques, no more ranting, no more hating the chicken of hate... ah, Apt, you''ll even get to defend rape as a truly deserved punishment! Think of what this will do for your rep!!

[Illuyankas]

Quote

Calling Apt an influential and important forum member

Canadian slang

'High Seeker Kitty'

Nice legit Abyss frameup there, Apt. Totally believable that you didn't write that yourself.

[Cyphon]

Hang on, Illy is claiming that Apt framed Abyss for some malign purpose involving Goodkind?

And Goodkind!?!?


Surely Apt is focusing his malign on Silencer right now?

And Goodkind!?!?!

[Aptorian]

Illuyankas, on 15 May 2011 - 09:09 PM, said:

Quote

Calling Apt an influential and important forum member

Canadian slang

'High Seeker Kitty'

Nice legit Abyss frameup there, Apt. Totally believable that you didn't write that yourself.

More importantly, has the Abysmal Fools gone over to Goodkind?

Am I the only one who has been receiving links to Goodkind books?

[Primateus]

Battle Plaptypus, on 16 May 2011 - 06:26 AM, said:

Illuyankas, on 15 May 2011 - 09:09 PM, said:

Quote

Calling Apt an influential and important forum member

Canadian slang

'High Seeker Kitty'

Nice legit Abyss frameup there, Apt. Totally believable that you didn't write that yourself.

More importantly, has the Abysmal Fools gone over to Goodkind?

Am I the only one who has been receiving links to Goodkind books?

Yes, yes you are

Så du kan godt flytte over på den anden side af sundet nu

[Cause]

Rep to whomever own up!

[Aptorian]

I mean, I would totally be a liason between the Malazan Empire and the Sword of Truth community... if someone made it worth my while that is.

[Cyphon]

What would make it worthwhile though? Up close and personal time with Terry Goodkind? Urgh.

[King Bear]

An email from a Canadian cat? I'm waiting on Abyss's comment.

[Abyss]

Ok, ok, i admit it, it was me.

And you would not believe the amount of eye bleeding i had to suffer through to pull all this together.

It was worth it of course when the false e-address received the following e-mail that Apt conveniently re-editted for the upthread narrative...

"From: BattlePlaptypus@gmail.com

You are asking me to be the Mortal Sword of Goodkind?

Googling "Goodkind's Goodfolk " doesn't show any results, so either you just made up that group or you are a super secret fanbase. What is it?

I am sure you are just trolling but tell me more. This could be interesting.

I get a lot of flak for liking Goodkind's books. Honestly it took me three read throughs of the entire series to really really appreciate them. (Unlike Erikson who i liked at first read, albeit at a lower level of emotional depth). I get particularly hung up on the chicken, but i finally realized that the chicken is just a metaphor for subjective evil. That is to say, Godkind's books have shown me that there is no true evil except what we perceive as such, even in something as ordinary as a chicken. Sooner or later we all must face the chicken.

Anyhow, i look forward to your reply. This could open up a whole new chapter in my life."

[QuickTidal]

Oh man, getting Gookind ...even in email...that's like a sign of the apocalypse isn't it? One of the horseman/evil chickens of the apocalypse in fact?

[amphibian]

This is such a well designed prank, Abyss.

I wonder if it'd have worked out better if a fake online newspaper had reached out to Apt for movie reviews. Imagine the horror...

[acesn8s]

Just the thought of a Goodkind secret society fills me with dread. That's worse than the Free Masons, Illuminati, and Skulls all mixed together!

[rhulad]

Goodkind's Goodfolk where has it gone?

[Aptorian]

acesn8s, on 16 May 2011 - 05:09 PM, said:

Just the thought of a Goodkind secret society fills me with dread. That's worse than the Free Masons, Illuminati, and Skulls all mixed together!

The Black Yarded One with a thousand young! RAHL-NIGGURAT, Ia Ia! Goodkind Fhtagn!

rhulad, on 16 May 2011 - 05:16 PM, said:

Goodkind's Goodfolk where has it gone?

So this place actually exists!

This post has been edited by Battle Plaptypus: 16 May 2011 - 07:56 PM

[rhulad]

Either that, or this is an elaborate prank being played on you and the entire forum is in on it.

[Primateus]

holy crap, that is one elaborate and insidious scheme...

[Aptorian]

An Update!

Quote

From: choco_bunny@live.com
Subject: RE: To Battle Plaptypus - from a fan on the Malazan Empire forums
Date: Mon, 16 May 2011 21:02:17 +1200

Hi Apt.

Thanks for the reply which I take as an indication of your interest in our group.

I can reassure you that we're not trolling you. We are a legitimate organisation but a fairly new one and still in our active recruitment stage. We like to be discrete, for sure, but do keep a small net presence. We've been having issues with our site but have a secondary site under the name Goodkind's Goodfriends, a name which we also go by.

Could you explain the idea of the Mortal Sword? If you're asking if you can have that title in the group, then pending an explanation of it you'll probably be welcome to it.

Now you haven't said if you've read any Goodkind. If you haven't, seriously please get onto it ASAP - this is an ABSOLUTE MUST if you want to join us. Of course the proper place to begin is Wizard's First Rule, which as you've probably figured out was sent to you along with several other emails and another ebook to gauge your interest in Goodkind. When you did not reply we had to take a more direct approach. If you have read Goodkind then please glowingly publicise his works at the Malazan Empire forums and send me the link.

One last thing, do you know anyone important on the Malazan Empire forums with an interest in Goodkind? Why not contact them about helping you, eh? Two or more respected members publicising Goodkind should have a powerful effect. Oh and be sure to tell us who they are.

Thanks,

- High Seeker Kitty

My response:

Quote

You sound like you legitimately are working to further Goodkinds fanbase. Which sounds interesting.

Unfortunately I am not a fan of his work. Far from it actually. Too much rape and political and philosophical nonsense and not enough proper story telling and build up.

How ever, I will pass this e-mail along to the forumites and see if someone else wants to pick up the mantle of Liason.

Anyone else want to contact this nice lady and be the Liason of Goodkind to the Empire?