Malazan Empire: Awesome / Weird / Funny Arse pics v 2.0 (NSFW) - Malazan Empire

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Awesome / Weird / Funny Arse pics v 2.0 (NSFW) NO POSTS WITHOUT PICS!!! (well SOMEONE had to start it)

#3321 User is offline   D'rek 

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Posted 05 December 2015 - 05:24 AM

And while we're at it...

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View Postworrywort, on 14 September 2012 - 08:07 PM, said:

I kinda love it when D'rek unleashes her nerd wrath, as I knew she would here. Sorry innocent bystanders, but someone's gotta be the kindling.
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#3322 User is offline   Shinrei 

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Posted 08 December 2015 - 04:42 AM

Merry Christmas! A 7-11 Nativity scene.

Attached File(s)

  • Attached File  cans.jpg (24.86K)
    Number of downloads: 5

You’ve never heard of the Silanda? … It’s the ship that made the Warren of Telas run in less than 12 parsecs.
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#3323 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 14 December 2015 - 10:32 PM

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Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#3324 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 15 December 2015 - 10:13 AM

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They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#3325 User is offline   A Demon Llama! 

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Posted 16 December 2015 - 04:17 AM

Seems like the police don't have any solid leads. Guess they will have to just play it by ear.
No Touchy.
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#3326 User is offline   Baco Xtath 

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Posted 17 December 2015 - 12:38 PM

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"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett, Jingo"Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken." - Terry Pratchett, Eric
"Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of a lack of wisdom." - Terry Pratchett
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#3327 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 29 December 2015 - 06:39 AM

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They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#3328 User is offline   Baco Xtath 

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Posted 01 January 2016 - 09:09 PM

Posted Image
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett, Jingo"Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken." - Terry Pratchett, Eric
"Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of a lack of wisdom." - Terry Pratchett
0

#3329 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 21 January 2016 - 01:40 AM

I don't have a good camera unfortunately, but if you wanna see some Evening Redness in the West I took a shot:

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They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#3330 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 24 January 2016 - 08:32 PM

Posted Image
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
1

#3331 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 20 February 2016 - 09:47 PM

Posted Image
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#3332 User is offline   Baco Xtath 

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Posted 29 February 2016 - 10:40 PM

Posted Image
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett, Jingo"Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken." - Terry Pratchett, Eric
"Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of a lack of wisdom." - Terry Pratchett
0

#3333 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 08 March 2016 - 08:44 AM

Yeah, we know you're good looking, you don't have to be so smug about it...

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A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
1

#3334 User is offline   Tattersail_ 

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    snapchat - rustyspoon84

Posted 08 March 2016 - 09:25 AM

Attached File  Queen.jpg (28.39K)
Number of downloads: 0





A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!



PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!


Apt is the only one who reads this. Apt is nice.
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#3335 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 10 March 2016 - 02:52 AM

Posted Image

via http://www.wired.com...marginal-media/
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#3336 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 24 March 2016 - 08:16 PM

Come to this guy if you want an ass kicking
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
0

#3337 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 24 March 2016 - 09:04 PM

Haha love that dude. It's the man behind Toothpaste For Dinner and other actually good internet stuff, if anyone cares.

(Requisite image)
Posted Image
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#3338 User is online   Tsundoku 

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Posted 29 May 2016 - 05:26 AM

Too political? Funny though.

Attached File(s)


"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#3339 User is offline   Blend 

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Posted 01 June 2016 - 08:23 PM

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There is no struggle too vast, no odds too overwhelming, for even should we fail - should we fall - we will know that we have lived. ~ Anomander Rake
My sig comes from a game in which I didn't heed Blend's advice. So maybe this time I should. ~ Khellendros
I'm just going to have to come to terms with the fact that self-vote suiciding will forever be referred to as "pulling a JPK" now, aren't I? ~ JPK
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#3340 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 03 June 2016 - 08:33 AM

Posted Image
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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