Help
High School Malazan: Gardens of the Prom
High School Malazan 2: Memories of Icepacks
This is the grand finale of the main trilogy of Malazan teen movies (corresponding to the Genabackis-set books), but rest assured that Hollywood will continue to milk the franchise for all it's worth with High School Malazan: Road Trip To Hell (the Chain of Dogs), Fast Times At Lether High (MT), High School Malazan: The Next Generation (the saga of the Bonehunters through HoC and tBH, eventually crossing over with Fast Times At Lether High in RG and DoD), High School Malazan: Otataral Camp and High School Malazan: The Rise of Karsa (the backstories of Felisin and Karsa respectively).
I streamlined this one a lot more than MoI, partly because TtH has a warren-load of characters and partly because some of its storylines don't work with stuff that's already been established and/or the timeline.
High School Malazan 3: Troll The Hounds
It is a time of reflection at Daru High, as the year's football championship final against fundamentalist powerhouse academy Light and Shadow's team, The Hounds, awaits. Party girl Stonny Menackis is trying to hold onto her captaincy of the fencing team while concealing her unplanned pregnancy (possibly the result of her rape by a Pannion player in the previous movie). Formerly nerdy Crokus returns from spring break with a lady-killing new look, although inside he's crying after being dumped by ex-goth cutie Apsalar, and has taken to cutting himself. Gruntle, hero of the matches against the Pannions, drops out again and takes up drift racing with the Trygalle Club. The ex-Malaz High students struggle to adjust in their new school after the excitement of the clash with Pannion High. School casanova Murillio gets beaten up when he tries to seduce a MILF, and even cheery Kruppe is looking down, perhaps because he just got served with a paternity suit by White Face Barghast sorority president Hetan (who has now run off with hunky ex-singer Tool). Also shaking things up are transfer student Lady Envy, and her hated (and even more bitchy) sister Spite.
Meanwhile, at the rebuilding Pannion High, Principal Rake has passed most of his duties down to Vice-Principal Endest Silann and disappeared on a mysterious errand, which proves to be a problem when his surprisingly large number of kids show up after getting into trouble with a weird cult. Father Itkovian has become overwhelmed by his duties as counsellor to the troubled Pannion students, and martial arts teacher Spinnock Durav contemplates an inappropriate relationship with waifish, jailbait student Salind (despite already having a friends-with-benefits thing going with the school nurse, the Wiccan former head cheerleader of Kharkanas High). Fortunately he is able to temporarily escape his dilemma when Principal Rake calls him and asks him to help detain the traitorous Kallor, who is already being pursued by Korlat, girlfriend of the man he stabbed in the back, and her gangsta brother Orfantal. Kallor monologues about his miserable life as he makes his way aimlessly to Daru High to watch the final match. Also approaching Daru High is badass hobo Dassem "The Traveller" Ultor, who has a score to settle with someone he expects to meet there...
As passions and conflicts swelter at Daru High, Crokus has a one-night-stand with the former object of his affections, head cheerleader Challice, who is now in an abusive relationship. He wisely figures out that she has issues and dumps her, before ironically getting into a fight with her boyfriend (which he wins with extreme prejudice) to avenge Murillio's injuries. Envy and Spite get into an epic catfight, much to the delight of the male student body. Then, number one death metal rock god "Grim Reaper" Hood arrives at Daru High for a surprise concert. His awesome music whips the school into a frenzy, in the middle of which the Hounds arrive for the match...but the Daru High team is still depleted from the struggle against Pannion High and crippled by the loss of Gruntle...is this the end?
No! Once again, Coach Rake arrives to save the day, stepping up to lead the team one last time and bringing with him not only an emergency replacement quarterback, the hulking Karsa Orlong, but the football trophy itself, which contains his mother's engagement ring, which he lost decades ago, leading to their estrangement. Inspired by Rake's awesomeness, Crokus joins the football team as well. The game against the Wolves is brutal and intense, and violence erupts all around (including the school getting set on fire by a gas explosion). Spinnock, Korlat and Orfantal prevent Kallor from adding to the mayhem, though Spinnock is injured and Orfantal drives off a bridge in his car. Dassem attempts to confront Hood, who once slept with his daughter, but Coach Rake (having knocked Hood out and hidden him in his dressing room) gets in his way and takes a blow from the trophy, shattering it so that he can give back his mother's ring. On the field, Karsa, Crokus and the rest of the team kick ass, and the Hounds slink away with their tails between their legs.
In the aftermath, Coach/Principal Rake, having suffered brain damage that left him in a wheelchair, announces his retirement, planning to spend more time with his kids and his mother. He receives a tearful farewell from all the students. Stonny decides to keep her baby, Crokus leaves Daru High again to find Apsalar, and Spinnock resigns his position and asks Salind on a date. In a comedy stinger, Karsa gets hit with a paternity suit. Kruppe commiserates with him.
This post has been edited by KeithF: 09 January 2010 - 11:39 AM
